rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

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Blimpie died hard in a lot of areas after some initial success in years after Subway became ubiquitous -- I don't think they differentiated themselves well and actually changed to become more like Subway for a while.

Jimmy John's stuck to bare essentials and offered delivery and seems to be strong here after starting with college areas and then branching out. Subway's main appeal now seems to be ubiquity + "healthy" options + deals. Jersey Mike's and a handful of others (Firehouse Subs, some cheesesteak place) are playing the "it's a bigass tasty sandwich" game without pretending to be healthy or cheap.

mh 😏, Friday, 13 January 2017 16:58 (nine years ago)

I hate Quizno's, something about the way they have menu items carefully engineered to sound like they're actually going to taste good and then blergggggh

Guayaquil (eephus!), Friday, 13 January 2017 17:00 (nine years ago)

lol yeah, quizno's was pretty big around here and then hit the wall a few years back after they reduced their menu to serving variations of the same three sandwiches and the quality dropped

mh 😏, Friday, 13 January 2017 17:04 (nine years ago)

rip pepper bar

mh 😏, Friday, 13 January 2017 17:04 (nine years ago)

does jimmy johns still include condoms with its orders?

maura, Saturday, 14 January 2017 15:18 (nine years ago)

need more info to complete this query

mh 😏, Saturday, 14 January 2017 15:45 (nine years ago)

http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/national-international/McDonalds-Rolls-Out-2-New-Big-Mac-Sizes-Nationwide-This-Week-411252195.html

we used to make things in this country

j., Saturday, 21 January 2017 17:06 (nine years ago)

make america salivate again

i don't watch lamestream porn (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 21 January 2017 17:45 (nine years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/EdVd9ew.png

, Thursday, 26 January 2017 20:00 (nine years ago)

congratulations on your impending lawsuits frito lay

Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 26 January 2017 20:09 (nine years ago)

seems fine

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 26 January 2017 20:27 (nine years ago)

It took me a while to see anything other than panties in the circle on the left.

Maybe I'm drunk?

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Friday, 27 January 2017 00:05 (nine years ago)

'target acquired'

j., Friday, 27 January 2017 03:24 (nine years ago)

'Lock in for a Frito lay'

nickn, Friday, 27 January 2017 04:18 (nine years ago)

Frito breath detected! Abort!

Anthology of Literature's Finest Penis Descriptions (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Friday, 27 January 2017 08:03 (nine years ago)

http://www.avclub.com/article/kfcs-unholy-fried-chicken-pizza-hybrid-chizza-spre-249916

not gonna lie, the thought of this with, like, a popeye's batter sounds fucking awesome (it also sounds like a parmo, which i'm amazed no fried chicken chain has yet ripped off wholesale)

the portentous pepper (govern yourself accordingly), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 19:14 (nine years ago)

In my decade in China I tried many of the bizarre creations McDonald's and KFC came up with for the local market, but these ones released for the 2012 Olympics were particularly memorable, as they were meant to represent British food somehow.

http://i.imgur.com/iZGXlPw.png

The one on the left is lettuce with thousand island dressing, bacon, two beef patties, potato salad. It was actually not that bad.
The thing in the middle is a wrap with soybeans. The meat inside had a weird spongy consistency, tried it once and didn't finish it.
The one on the right is mushrooms with swiss cheese on top of two beef patties. The mushrooms were of the tinned variety. It wasn't good.

Actually these aren't that odd, but took me half an hour to find so might as well post now.

Camaraderie at Arms Length, Wednesday, 8 February 2017 21:29 (nine years ago)

they sound alright!
am jonesing for a windows7 burger now tho

nxd, Wednesday, 8 February 2017 21:53 (nine years ago)

The mushrooms were of the tinned variety

this is the only authentically british part of any of that

Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 8 February 2017 22:43 (nine years ago)

no chance they're getting away with "Darth Burger"

Number None, Wednesday, 8 February 2017 23:04 (nine years ago)

I believe he was the hero of Lucas's rejected sequel trilogy, actually

Number None, Wednesday, 8 February 2017 23:05 (nine years ago)

the only new thing that was going to help enforce US-style copyright elsewhere was the trans-pacific partnership and that ship has apparently sunk

hail the darthburger

mh 😏, Thursday, 9 February 2017 02:13 (nine years ago)

Darth Burger clearly the most appealing of those also.

tales of a scorched-earth nothing (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 9 February 2017 03:54 (nine years ago)

where are the other 6 jaw-dropping variants

El Tomboto, Thursday, 9 February 2017 04:00 (nine years ago)

lego buns would do pretty well in america tbh someone get on that

qualx, Thursday, 9 February 2017 04:42 (nine years ago)

i should mention, because it is the patron saint of this thread, that i had a doritos locos taco for the first time

it wasn't great

qualx, Thursday, 9 February 2017 04:43 (nine years ago)

brick menu for the interested (disney, lego lawyers not allowed)

Einstein, Kazanga, Sitar (abanana), Thursday, 9 February 2017 05:09 (nine years ago)

I want to eat those

I want to snap 'em together and eat those

Anthology of Literature's Finest Penis Descriptions (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 9 February 2017 05:09 (nine years ago)

LORD BUSINESS

Anthology of Literature's Finest Penis Descriptions (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 9 February 2017 05:11 (nine years ago)

i'd do anything for you

j., Thursday, 9 February 2017 17:43 (nine years ago)

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/06/business/lorenzo-servitje-a-founder-of-the-worlds-biggest-bakery-dies-at-98.html

Mr. Servitje succeeded with a multipronged strategy. He marketed his cellophane-wrapped, mass-produced bread as healthful and dependable, in contrast to the traditional French rolls, or bolillos — common at Mexican breakfasts — that were unavailable intermittently during frequent labor disputes and that sometimes originated in unhygienic bakeries.

In the early 1950s, sales of his white bread still lagged behind those of tortillas and bolillos, so he introduced Mexican consumers to other American-style products, like hot dog and hamburger rolls and doughnuts. (Grupo Bimbo became the country’s sole supplier of buns to McDonald’s.)

And after diversifying into candy and chocolate — controlling the entire process from production to delivery — Grupo Bimbo fended off potential competition by acquiring the Mexican rights to Wonder Bread. The company then broadened its distribution, expanding its market penetration in the United States beyond the South and buying companies abroad.

It became the biggest baking company in the United States in 2009 after acquiring Weston Foods; two years later, it became the world’s biggest after scooping up competitors in Spain, Portugal and Argentina.

j., Thursday, 9 February 2017 17:45 (nine years ago)

So this guy almost singlehandedly turned Mexico into a fatter country than the US. My friend said when he lived there it was almost impossible to find bread that wasn't sugar-saturated white bread.

écorché (S-), Thursday, 9 February 2017 23:52 (nine years ago)

Also the photo for Mexico from here...

http://gazettereview.com/2016/06/top-10-fattest-countries-in-world/

http://gazettereview.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/mexico-fat-150x150.jpg

écorché (S-), Friday, 10 February 2017 00:08 (nine years ago)

Bimbo is also the biggest brand of bread in China, and local alternatives follow its lead. Nasty sweet sickly-smelling stuff, I can't stand it.

Camaraderie at Arms Length, Friday, 10 February 2017 10:26 (nine years ago)

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/10/sports/hockey/mike-ilitch-dead-detroit-tigers-red-wings.html

pizza pizza

j., Saturday, 11 February 2017 17:03 (nine years ago)

is this Chizza monster a thing in the USA? I've seen ads for it here on tv, and in a bunch of métro stations. It's not so different from a cordon bleu I guess.

droit au butt (Euler), Saturday, 11 February 2017 18:35 (nine years ago)

had a taco bell quesarito, which i guess is literally an attempt to capitalize on the annoying "secret" chipotle menu item that only the most irritating person alive could possibly order

and it really is trying to be a mini-chipotle burrito what with its being 90% lime rice

i couldn't finish it. i got it with steak, and the steak is REAL REAL bad. and their sour cream is weird and gross.

also got a cheesy crunch gordita WITH A DORITOS SHELL this time, but i chose cool ranch, and it didn't taste any different because those things are slopped in ranch dressing already

anyway 9/10

qualx, Sunday, 12 February 2017 07:07 (nine years ago)

omg

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/10/business/china-kfc-taco-bell.html

SHANGHAI — Until he was appointed manager of a Taco Bell in China, Will Cao had never seen a taco before. When confronted with its hard, U-shaped shell in Los Angeles last June, he wondered: How do you eat it?

“Everything was spilling all over the place,” said Mr. Cao, a 31-year-old Shanghai resident. “Then I looked at the other customers to learn that, actually, you are supposed to tilt your neck to eat it.”

Mr. Cao’s employer is betting that other Chinese diners will figure it out. Yum China, the company behind KFC there, last month opened the first Taco Bell in China in years, and says it plans to open an unspecified number more. The company is turning to double-layered tacos and overstuffed quesadillas in hopes of regaining ground in a market where its fried chicken has shown the limits of its appeal.

j., Monday, 13 February 2017 05:06 (nine years ago)

https://www.fastcodesign.com/3068197/mcdonalds-just-innovated-the-hell-out-of-straws

removed from the rain drops and drop tops of experience (ulysses), Tuesday, 21 February 2017 16:33 (nine years ago)

that string of words gives me some serious IA

tales of a scorched-earth nothing (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 21 February 2017 16:46 (nine years ago)

article is absolutely on point for this thread though

tales of a scorched-earth nothing (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 21 February 2017 16:47 (nine years ago)

I kind of want to work at fast company. Not because I like business or whatever, but their house style has to be fun to play in

mh 😏, Tuesday, 21 February 2017 16:50 (nine years ago)

Imagine spending all day working on the dynamics of sucking.

The end of the J would suck in shake, as would two large holes on its tip, allowing you to get the mix you want. But as the shake dipped below the J holes, those openings wouldn’t start sucking in air as a straight straw with holes would. Instead, you could continue sucking because of a vital third hole, on the bottom of the straw. As long as there’s shake coming through the bottom, you close off the pressure system to the tip of the J.

jmm, Tuesday, 21 February 2017 16:54 (nine years ago)

those last two sentences are just a string of amazing phrases/display names.

tales of a scorched-earth nothing (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 21 February 2017 16:59 (nine years ago)

a tip of the J to you, good sir

mh 😏, Tuesday, 21 February 2017 17:00 (nine years ago)

that's my next date night sorted

j., Tuesday, 21 February 2017 17:14 (nine years ago)

well, instead, you could continue sucking because of a vital third hole

tales of a scorched-earth nothing (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 21 February 2017 17:41 (nine years ago)

board description imo

removed from the rain drops and drop tops of experience (ulysses), Tuesday, 21 February 2017 18:35 (nine years ago)

http://www.eater.com/2017/2/21/14672830/burger-king-popeyes-merger-tim-hortons

maura, Tuesday, 21 February 2017 21:44 (nine years ago)


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