Star Wars Anthology shit talk (Rogue One, Young Solo, TBD)

No no a real Minutt for Minutt film of the search for Luke in the snowspeeders

Norway is Hoth after all

Where did the other probe droids end up? What did they see?

i'd like an ice-age style animated comedy set on hoth starring the wampa which eventually becomes luke's sleeping bag in empire

or maybe a fish-out-of-water comedy with a wampa trying to adapt to life on the lava plains of mustafar

That writes itself! The wampa struggling to breathe for the first ten minutes, and then lying dead for an hour and forty-five minutes.

A Day in the Star Wars bar, done like Cheers

xps: you're thinking of a tauntaun.

you're right! which leads to to wonder whether the star wars universe needs an odd couple-style sitcom with a wampa and a tauntaun struggling to live together in a cave on hoth

Where did the other probe droids end up? What did they see?

― The beaver is not the bad guy (El Tomboto), Thursday, January 12, 2017

Priceless!

A Day in the Star Wars bar, done like Cheers

― Ste, Thursday, January 12, 2017 9:50 AM (nineteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzXKySxPFCI

I'm kind of surprised I haven't read any articles breaking down the parallels between the Jedi lore in Rogue One and Islam. Pilgrims journeying through Jedha (Jeddah) to seek out kyber crystals (the black rock embedded in the Kaaba?).

i thought this was great! looked and sounded great, good script, great cast. i enjoyed the sense of tragedy and sacrifice, and the dirtiness of an insurgency. good job everyone.

with his politician hair and white cape i was kind of hoping the badguy would be an easygoing california technocrat -- the kind of charismatic and metric-obsessed "builder" you'd put in charge of a major tech project -- instead of another snarling old world fascist, but you can't push the mythos too far i guess

imo he was a middle manager who thought that leaning hard on talented employees and passing off the work as his own would lead to success but nobody in the chain of command bought it

https://frinkiac.com/img/S08E02/603418.jpg

Value-free technocrat who Gets Things Done while pressing forth an ostensibly "inevitable" technological development is a great and timely idea for a villain, especially when you do have the option of leaning on Darth Vader for more direct creepiness and visceral terror, etc. Another missed opportunity.

there are hints of this possibility in the flashbacks of jyn's childhood -- two bright tech men, one who easily made his peace with empire and one who couldn't

probably shouldn't wish for SW to conform to our own sense of the villainous tho

I must wait until a high definition home release is available, but I am pretty sure the Vader in tank scene confirmed Vader has no dick

― mh 😏, Saturday, December 31, 2016 10:15 AM (two weeks ago)

it was floating separate in the tank, could see it in the upper left of the screen, either it's detachable or he keeps it for sentimental reasons

― qualx, Saturday, December 31, 2016 10:24 AM (two weeks ago)

Etc. etc. but I must note that Rob Bricken (yes I know) has made a claim:

http://io9.gizmodo.com/how-star-wars-should-handle-carrie-fishers-death-1791386407

Q. Anakin’s penis—did it survive or had he been unable to get any sexual release since Revenge of the Sith? That would explain a lot of anger we saw in the original trilogy.

A. Gone baby gone. Remember, he was lying on volcanic rock that was so hot it set his clothes on fire. Cotton burns at 400 degrees. Third-degree burns happen with a six-second contact with something only 140 degrees hot. Anakin was lying down on the rock for at least five minutes before the Emperor picked him up.

Lying face down. On his junk. Directly on what was essentially a lava beach.

By the way, this was the first letter I received after announcing the postman’s return. Glad to see even though the Postman had to leave for a while, you guys never did.

Well, but that assumes clothes in the Star Wars universe are made with cotton, a plant that evolved in a far-away galaxy, perhaps a long time later.

Are the clothes in the Star Wars movies cotton?

the touch, feel of microweave
the fabric of our lives

https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=OqcNjJS6SR4C&pg=PT230&lpg=PT230&dq=suliana+cotton&source=bl&ots=tS4CuH3ELb&sig=OhwpuY1dNC-d33c-dCklGDJQu-M&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjN59f4_c7RAhXhL8AKHTWlCSIQ6AEIIjAB#v=onepage&q=suliana%20cotton&f=false

confirmation that cotton exists in the star wars universe. i also fear that there could be a grand moff tarkin sex scene either preceding or following this passage so scroll around at your peril

sorry, that's part of the legends area, may not be canon

the touch, feel of canon
the fabric of our existence

presumes lava is a 400 degree substance on that planet, that elevated midichlorian levels dont protect cock and that george lucas even knows about penises

A friend of mine posted this photo on FB and tagged me -- it's from his sister, who was having brunch in LA on the weekend. Check out the table in the background.

https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/16174971_10155008339685719_1332113233518692805_n.jpg?oh=fdf7d64e90ae16a3d1c7bfb5b2197ac6&oe=591E163B

Nice catch

Holy shit, Donald Glover eats food?

well, if rob bricken thinks vader has no dick then i think we can take it as canon that vader is, in fact, packing a dick

(ps fuck rob bricken)

The Landos bruncheth

whats donald glover doing with brett 'the hitman' hart

billy dee looking pretty ominous

guys what if lando is vader's dick

what if lando is snoke

what if bb8 is lando

long game, he groomed the series of events leading han and leia's appearance in cloud city over the years, including setting up underground supply routes to hoth

once vader comes to cloud city, he's able to steal his sith artifacts

you mean his dick right

the comics lend credibility to this -- Lando ends up accidentally stealing the Emperor's yacht, which is filled with sith artifacts

he was corrupted by them since that time and everything we see in the movies is part of his long game

xp oh yeah I mean it's his dick that was corrupted

in star wars, it takes a possible jedi to make the shot to destroy the death star

in rotj, lando (and his dick) are on the lead ship destroying a death star

ok I just can't talk about dicks anymore

fp'd u for quitting vader's dick

yes what about the balls? all that Death Star imagery isn't just metaphor you know

then he mighta needed to talk to a PCP about his prostate

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--wMrbhRru--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/gzvbeczvwse5zs0lxgby.jpg

Bothers me that all droids have 4-character names. And R2 units, for example, are all R2-??, which means there can be at most 36 x 36 R2 units in the whole universe, and only 36 x36x36x36=1.7 million robots in the whole universe.

well fuck, that's unravelled the entire tightly-woven fabric of the star wars universe for me

but wait you're assuming that all droids have unique names - maybe 'r2d2' is as common as 'steve' but we don't know because we've only seen one onscreen

phew, faith in star wars restored

The droids introduced in the Darth Vader comic are 0-0-0 and BT-1, which admittedly don't help much.

*doesn't, though admittedly they don't help much either.

According to tvtropes.org, the following heroic droids have been featured in Episode VII and its spinoff media (comics and novels) so far:

C3-PO
R2-D2
BB-8
PZ-4CO
R2-KT
GA-97
PZ-99
CO-34
2-MED-2
VL-44
R0-4L0
R2-HA
O-R10N
R4
N1-ZX

Surpised that Y0-L0 and B0-0B5 haven't yet shown up.