Star Wars Anthology shit talk (Rogue One, Young Solo, TBD)

this is a much better movie on second viewing

Got back from a second viewing myself just now and agreed -- I loved it first time through but the second time I was surprised just how wrought up the ending made me, which I honestly didn't expect. And small things I had missed on the first viewing flowed much more smoothly throughout; every major action in response to something else is pretty clearly spelled out, but can be easy to miss in the initial flow.

I will add this -- for all the fixing of larger plot holes (why does the Death Star have a flaw, etc.), surely this film raises a new one -- if Leia etc. are already on board the flagship during the battle tucked away in their own ship, then what are C3PO and R2D2 doing hanging out on Yavin for their cameo when it sounds like said flagship was already heading to Scarif?

I too was confused why their cameo wasn't at the very end - seems like a logical place to put it

Extensive discussion of such continuity issues here

https://www.reddit.com/r/FanTheories/comments/5kfk0s/star_wars_the_reason_darth_vader_seems_so/dbnqxop/

... to a degree that might make one regret having started taking continuity issues seriously.

"So there are several things we need to take into account here.

First, The distance between Tatooine and Scarif. So this was tricky since on Wookiepedia there is no distance between Scarif and Tatooine nor is there a distance to the center so Trigonometry won't help us. Luckily there is a simpler solution. This is a map of the Star Wars Galaxy, and it has a useful feature of telling us the coordinates of each thing on the map. Unfortunately for us they are not in light years. Here we find that Tatooine is 43,000 ly from the galactic center and using the distance formula here we can find that the distance on the map is 12,526.5 units from the center. Some simple calculations give us that 1 unit is roughly 3.4 light years in the galaxy.

So doing the same thing here we find that the distance between Scarif and Tatooine is 958.328 units or (using our 3.4 to 1 conversion) it is 3258.3 light years between Scarif and Tatooine.

Now for the speed of her ship. A CR90 Corvette can travel at 950 kph in an atmosphere. In terms of space and lightyears that is ridiculously slow. Like it would take Leia over 3 trillion years to get to Tatooine. But thats not how hyperdrives work in Star Wars. Hyperspace we can see from the bottom of the article has a rough travel time of 5000 lightyears is about 16 hours. and that is using a class 2 hyperdrive which conveniently is what the Cr90 and Darth Vader's personal Star Destroyer both have. So some more simple math, and we get that it would take ~10 hours to get from Scarif to Tatooine for both Leia Organa and Darth Vader."

Doesn't account for if they get waylaid by a Predator ship.

In ANH, I always had an issue with why would Princess Leia be able to take command of her rescue, "somebody has to save our skins" and be so calm in the battles she is in. Later, she is made a general? Why? Why would a princess have these qualities?

yeah how could a princess have these qualities must be a plot hole

still haven't seen this yet but the torrent of people bending over backwards to really dig into the logic of these films kinda making me not want to.

ignore them. it's all nitpicks frankly

Interesting find:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTmN3N5v0W4

Carrie Fisher(along with many other familiar late 70s NYC women) popped up in a bit on Mr Mike's Mondo Video, about 28:00 in.

caught the last half hour of this new movie. oh hey they re-created the Death Star firing sequence shot for shot. and Tarkin says "Fire when ready" just like the does in SW. and the Red Leader/Gold Leader guys are plucked right out of the first movie. Vader did look cool doing a Yoda. glad they let the director bring his Darth Vader action figure.

i get the desire to end the movie right when ANH stars and have it lead into that but it kind of really distorts the intro imo. there's no floating debris from the massive space battle that just ended. Vader/the Empire seems to have mellowed out and done a complete 180 on killing everyone in sight. hopefully we get another movie to explain these plotholes.

caught the last half hour of this new movie

did you wander into the theater after watching a film you actually cared about, or ?

naw it was a bootleg, i tried watching from the start but got bored. wanted to skip to the good stuff.

btw im really hurt that you don't think i care about this movie. i care deeply

Lol

Irl

there's no floating debris from the massive space battle that just ended

The battle was above scarif, anh starts above tatooine. Pay attention at the back.

can we get a hot take from someone who saw 5 min of the beginning or 15 minutes in the middle

just watched the teaser trailer and read some fanfiction, here are my informed and valuable thoughts

I must wait until a high definition home release is available, but I am pretty sure the Vader in tank scene confirmed Vader has no dick

it was floating separate in the tank, could see it in the upper left of the screen, either it's detachable or he keeps it for sentimental reasons

well this thread is called shit talk. or are we required to pay to see these things now before engaging in the time-honored tradition of talking shit about star wars on the internet?

if you have to pay extra to see the first 90 minutes of a bootleg you downloaded you're being ripped off

know shit to talk shit

xxxpost well then my bad. thank GOD you're here. Please, continue with your halfassery. As you were.

anyway i just overheard two people talking about this movie in a passing car and boy does it stink

I can't believe you guys are still posting about this. I guess I'll see it if my kids watch it on tv someday.

more like snore wars amirite

Vader's dick is preserved in the core of his lightsaber handle.

tell me more

Number fans will note that this puts an upper limit on Vader's length and girth

lol

the Red Leader/Gold Leader guys are plucked right out of the first movie.

Major plot hole, IRL military flight squadrons change leaders every couple of days.

rey from the force awakens is cloned from vader's detachable penis iirc

makes sense

ZERO pod racing
thumbs down

saw this last night. It took a bit for it to grow on me- more or less right after they parted ways with the incredibly bizarre Forest Whitaker. After that I thought it built nicely and had about the best space battle ever depicted. But in the cold light of day I am mostly fascinated by what the hell was Whitaker's deal, idgi.

"Rebel Vader" seems a fairly apt reduction

he was like a Matrix-y Immortan Joe, felt like he walked in from another movie

his robo-feet were very prequel trilogy but that strange affected cadence and weirdo wheeze were of some 90s DTV post-apocalypse cheapie.

IRL military flight squadrons change leaders every couple of days.

but this takes place in far away galaxy, long, long ago. 'real life' there can be whatever you want.

the Red Leader/Gold Leader guys are plucked right out of the first movie.

Major plot hole, IRL military flight squadrons change leaders every couple of days.

my point there was this is literally the same movie as the first one.

i'll see it eventually. i just am not in a hurry. i saw Star Wars like 30 years ago, and imagined the world suggested by those actors, costumes, sets, special effect, music, etc. all working in tandem, all those talents and skills from that specific time and place. it created a potent imaginary universe. through the EU that universe even gained big dollar real world manifestation. star wars was a ritual, it was based on all those ritual symbols and story cycles, and the holistic, cumulative magic of the team that made the first movie is what we love about it. sequelizing was inevitable but this is cannibalism. re-creating scenes shot-for-shot shows a nadir of creativity. what's worse they are actively writing over our memories of those imaginations the first movie inspired in us so long ago. the first movie was very potent, our imaginations were very potent in response. the more they over-explain, the more they take away the frame from us and tell us the official story, it devalues the potency of the series as a whole.

same reasons a lot of catholics never open the bible iirc

literally the same movie

please do us all a favor and never actually see it

having red and gold leader there, i mean they're the guys who lead the death star assault, it would make sense that there would be some carryover of experienced pilots who survived the previous battle. i think it's more a nice touch and homage to the characters (and yes a bit of deep cuts being played again, for fan wish fulfillment) rather than something unoriginal.

it's definitely the same movie

I subtracted the pixel values for each frame of the two films and summed the square of the differences. The result was zero. They literally rereleased star wars.

shot-for-shot remakes!