Real England

omg Dewsbury Drifterz <3 <3 <3

http://metro.co.uk/2016/12/21/man-arrested-for-offensive-christmas-decorations-6336953/

It started with this story: http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/models-carried-fashion-shoot-went-12356210 which is just kind of bizarre and maybe belongs in a Milennials thread (if we have one), but then looking elsewhere on the MEN site I found this: http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/murder-probe-after-man-dies-12357286 which deserves to be here for this quote from the policeman in charge:

what should be a happy time turned into violence

When asked why he didn’t dial 999, model Max Dos Santos Leite, 17 at the time, said: “We just came to the conclusion that we needed to get stuff done.

“In all due respect, we only had that time on that day to get stuff done.

“We didn’t have any other free time. With all due respect, it (the body) wasn’t going anywhere.”

lol

I was talking to my mum the other night about the Huddersfield and District Temperance Union NV thing mentioned upthread and she told me about a photo she still has. My dad's sister was sporting a Pioneer badge in the photo next to my mum, the latter with a bottle of lucozade, my mum with a beer. The Pioneer badge was a catholic church badge of shite honour, where you have agreed not to imbibe alcohol until you are 25. My mum says that pious arsehole really fucking wore it with pride, to the point that it drove her to deliberately drink hard + flaunt it just to piss her off.

Doesn't get realer than a pub...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/in-pictures-38384519

http://spicyengland.tumblr.com/

(via https://twitter.com/Mr_Considerate/status/817749614728216576)

https://twitter.com/OUFCOfficial/status/822842648553783296

Oxford's twitter clearly updated by a Streatham Rovers fan. #Neverstopnotgivingup

@Greg_Wilford

Statement from Rolf Harris' solicitor drowned out by a defrocked bishop doing a joyous Irish jig outside Southwark Crown Court.

He blamed a "media frenzy" for making Harris "vulnerable to people making accusations against him".

what a nightmare it must be when so many disparate people are queuing up to accuse you of very similar-sounding things

defrocked irish-jig priest = cornelius (neil) horan ("sometimes referred to as the Grand Prix Priest")

(and not to be confused with neill horan of one direction)

http://i.imgur.com/qfwlVkN.jpg

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/02/18/village-vigilante-informs-illegally-parked-cars-dubbed-prat/

his fat nose xxx

More seaside fest pics:

http://www.midweekherald.co.uk/polopoly_fs/1.4900237!/image/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_630/image.jpg

I was surprised by the date of this one in particular. More here.

reminds me of this, don't know if i've shared it here before

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLj9a4P_lAg

found it a couple of years ago doing a search on an old employer of my dad/grandad's

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/02/18/village-vigilante-informs-illegally-parked-cars-dubbed-prat/

― Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Sunday, 19 February 2017 13:44 (six days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Rottingdean, home of the Coppers.

http://www.topicrecords.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/FLED-30971.jpeg

Probably a few fat noses in there.

uh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9s3gQTHDmA

Real Wales special one day only guest appearance

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/17021716_10155005323753398_3582441412335992626_n.jpg?oh=9942f450fc8450f3731a1b708d1f99b7&oe=59373067

I feel like perhaps the 'bagel on head' train incident of a day or two ago could fit here.

I liked the detail mentioned in reports that "During the video, a group can be heard singing: "He's got a bagel on his head" to the tune of "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands"."

not sure if richard whiteley being a spy counts as real england or not, mb rather part of some related phenomenon

Tomlinson, who appeared alongside Caroline Aherne in sitcom The Royle Family, made the startling claim in an interview with The Chester Chronicle as he opened a Wetherspoons pub in the city.

This is extremely real.

none more real, nothing more English

http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/crime/2017/03/07/telford-man-who-poisoned-wifes-food-with-laxatives-is-jailed/

why do all fantasists claim to have been in the SAS?

Blame Andy McNab.

i know at least one irl but this isn't the place

https://crimethroughtimecollection.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/jsn_2322.jpg?w=584
https://crimethroughtimecollection.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/jsn_2332.jpg?w=584
https://crimethroughtimecollection.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/jsn_2320.jpg?w=584
https://crimethroughtimecollection.files.wordpress.com/2016/12/jsn_3352.jpg?w=584
I bumped into Gloucestershire artist Paul Bridgman's crime through time collection whilst looking for A-level art style Weller sketches.

didn't know ILX's own Rory McGrath lived in Cromwell Street

I noticed Rory McGrath's hands are out of proportion and unconvincing and the artist has probably realised this.

The tiny hands . . . of a murderer!

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/1533914_10157331988995377_4149580904031315219_n.jpg?oh=5282cc3fce734b6565fb05d5160b97b6&oe=5963468F

Jobs too real to contemplate.

poll ffs

cow banger

victorian england

no way that is real

why not? dicking around is not a modern invention

xp
There were smartasses even back then.

this is the oldest version of that I can find, from 2001

http://boards.fool.co.uk/any-fatuous-paupers-out-there-6424064.aspx

http://search.findmypast.co.uk/results/world-records/1881-england-wales-and-scotland-census?occupation=%20%22fatuous%20pauper%22

0 results found for "fatuous pauper" ;_;

1881 census info released 1981, went online 2004: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4065313.stm

Was this guy who vandalised the Gainsborough painting at the Nat gallery doing it for the Turnip Shepherds in a display of misplaced activism?

list of occupations from the first eight censuses: http://www.worldthroughthelens.com/family-history/old-occupations.php

very long, mostly dull enough to be authentic, has a snarky notes abt spurious entries in *other* lists

WASTEMAN

Wow that is some list!

BANDSTER One who bound the wheat sheaves after harvest - there is a deffo a musical thread on that somewhere!

BATMAN

http://www.gunaxin.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/adam_west_as_batman__60s__by_kriegdersterne77-d51jcx0-copy.jpg

CRATCH MAKER. Made cratches e.g. mangers, cribs, or frames. Don't you fucking know this?

had to look up the oldest profession in the world

FANCY MAN A pimp. An agent for prostitutes who collects part of their earnings for services rendered.
FANCY WOMAN A prostitute. Offering sexual favours for money
GAMESTER Gambler or prostitute
PIMP An agent for prostitutes who collects part of their earnings
PROSTITUTE A person (usually a woman) offering sexual favours for money

I used to work with a Dry Stone Waller occasionally, in periods when the sparky work was drying up. This particular one I worked with had lots of guns and liked shooting foxes dead and taking pictures of their corpses so the NT would throw him a fiver per husk or whatever. He was tea-total but had a ruddy complexion from the amount of red meat he ate. He definitely makes me think of of old-Real-England.

classic calz