Real England

ppl ALWAYS COLLECTED THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE DARK

yes definitely, all the childhood memories that are still vivid today have a sense of the unheimlich, which I'd've had no word for then, of course, but totally fed into the feeling of joy those shops gave me - plus the sense that I was peering into adult stuff, bits of things I couldn't quite understand would be tucked away in those corners - and of course all that blue/loo humour wasn't really the norm at home in the everyday, the seaside made it ok

the Lapland scam brothers from upthread who were taken to court and jailed for a year, made their own reply video. and i mean well..
see for yourselves

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRYSMvlYHJc

chalkware_mr_blobby.jpg

as child of immigrants who took full advantage of every thatcher policy and never once stepped outside london it's nice to think that my only references for these souvenirs are the natwest pigs

this is a good handbook to this dark world (from 1951):
🗻

pop artist peter blake is also a good source, but lambert&marx were there first

initially confused that book with The Unsophisticated Arts by Barbara Jones:

Amusement arcades on the shore house the more recent automatics, horizontal glass-topped boxes on four wooden legs, where a penny releases a number of balls which can be projected by means of a spring through a series of illuminated hazards to score many thousands of points. For really high scores there may prizes.

I suspect both were probably published to coincide with the Festival of Britain.

I'm a Californian, but this seems to qualify.

http://money.aol.co.uk/2016/12/07/hilarious-response-when-angry-mum-complains-to-tesco-about-pota/?ncid=aolshare_facebook

could've sworn we had a great thread on (English?) seaside 'n coasts on here, with pix galore, but search function is failing me again.. Anyone?

There's a sea arches thread, not exclusively British, though. Sea Arches (A Picture Thread)

you're thinking this excellent thread?

The British seaside: Dud or dud?

Thanks guys! Think I lumped several threads together in my mind, Fizzles' seaside one and the Cornwall one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbCPz2OP2ZI&t=105s
funny and entertaining local youtube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HRZdDpZSBM
grim and thouroughly depressing local youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbCPz2OP2ZI

omg Dewsbury Drifterz <3 <3 <3

http://metro.co.uk/2016/12/21/man-arrested-for-offensive-christmas-decorations-6336953/

It started with this story: http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/models-carried-fashion-shoot-went-12356210 which is just kind of bizarre and maybe belongs in a Milennials thread (if we have one), but then looking elsewhere on the MEN site I found this: http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/murder-probe-after-man-dies-12357286 which deserves to be here for this quote from the policeman in charge:

what should be a happy time turned into violence

When asked why he didn’t dial 999, model Max Dos Santos Leite, 17 at the time, said: “We just came to the conclusion that we needed to get stuff done.

“In all due respect, we only had that time on that day to get stuff done.

“We didn’t have any other free time. With all due respect, it (the body) wasn’t going anywhere.”

lol

I was talking to my mum the other night about the Huddersfield and District Temperance Union NV thing mentioned upthread and she told me about a photo she still has. My dad's sister was sporting a Pioneer badge in the photo next to my mum, the latter with a bottle of lucozade, my mum with a beer. The Pioneer badge was a catholic church badge of shite honour, where you have agreed not to imbibe alcohol until you are 25. My mum says that pious arsehole really fucking wore it with pride, to the point that it drove her to deliberately drink hard + flaunt it just to piss her off.

Doesn't get realer than a pub...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/in-pictures-38384519

http://spicyengland.tumblr.com/

(via https://twitter.com/Mr_Considerate/status/817749614728216576)

https://twitter.com/OUFCOfficial/status/822842648553783296

Oxford's twitter clearly updated by a Streatham Rovers fan. #Neverstopnotgivingup

@Greg_Wilford

Statement from Rolf Harris' solicitor drowned out by a defrocked bishop doing a joyous Irish jig outside Southwark Crown Court.

He blamed a "media frenzy" for making Harris "vulnerable to people making accusations against him".

what a nightmare it must be when so many disparate people are queuing up to accuse you of very similar-sounding things

defrocked irish-jig priest = cornelius (neil) horan ("sometimes referred to as the Grand Prix Priest")

(and not to be confused with neill horan of one direction)

http://i.imgur.com/qfwlVkN.jpg

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/02/18/village-vigilante-informs-illegally-parked-cars-dubbed-prat/

his fat nose xxx

More seaside fest pics:

http://www.midweekherald.co.uk/polopoly_fs/1.4900237!/image/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_630/image.jpg

I was surprised by the date of this one in particular. More here.

reminds me of this, don't know if i've shared it here before

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLj9a4P_lAg

found it a couple of years ago doing a search on an old employer of my dad/grandad's

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/02/18/village-vigilante-informs-illegally-parked-cars-dubbed-prat/

― Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Sunday, 19 February 2017 13:44 (six days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Rottingdean, home of the Coppers.

http://www.topicrecords.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/FLED-30971.jpeg

Probably a few fat noses in there.

uh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9s3gQTHDmA

Real Wales special one day only guest appearance

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/17021716_10155005323753398_3582441412335992626_n.jpg?oh=9942f450fc8450f3731a1b708d1f99b7&oe=59373067

I feel like perhaps the 'bagel on head' train incident of a day or two ago could fit here.

I liked the detail mentioned in reports that "During the video, a group can be heard singing: "He's got a bagel on his head" to the tune of "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands"."

not sure if richard whiteley being a spy counts as real england or not, mb rather part of some related phenomenon

Tomlinson, who appeared alongside Caroline Aherne in sitcom The Royle Family, made the startling claim in an interview with The Chester Chronicle as he opened a Wetherspoons pub in the city.

This is extremely real.

none more real, nothing more English

http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/crime/2017/03/07/telford-man-who-poisoned-wifes-food-with-laxatives-is-jailed/

why do all fantasists claim to have been in the SAS?

Blame Andy McNab.

i know at least one irl but this isn't the place

https://crimethroughtimecollection.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/jsn_2322.jpg?w=584
https://crimethroughtimecollection.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/jsn_2332.jpg?w=584
https://crimethroughtimecollection.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/jsn_2320.jpg?w=584
https://crimethroughtimecollection.files.wordpress.com/2016/12/jsn_3352.jpg?w=584
I bumped into Gloucestershire artist Paul Bridgman's crime through time collection whilst looking for A-level art style Weller sketches.

didn't know ILX's own Rory McGrath lived in Cromwell Street

I noticed Rory McGrath's hands are out of proportion and unconvincing and the artist has probably realised this.

The tiny hands . . . of a murderer!

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/1533914_10157331988995377_4149580904031315219_n.jpg?oh=5282cc3fce734b6565fb05d5160b97b6&oe=5963468F

Jobs too real to contemplate.

poll ffs

cow banger

victorian england

no way that is real

why not? dicking around is not a modern invention

xp
There were smartasses even back then.