EXCELSIOR is the second solo album by British musician LOLZ Coombes.

i was gonna look up Kitty Genovese on Wikipedia but just figured someone else would do it so I didn't bother

I'll save everyone some googling: it's a brand of cat food.

which contains a good deal of pesto

ME, TODAY: "You know, a month from now, you and some other posters are going to be cracking Kitty Genovese jokes on the Excelsior thread."

ME, LAST MONTH: "... ... ... Trump's going to somehow win this thing, isn't he?"

Way more surprised at and disappointed in Iago than in Trump.

― i need microsoft installed on my desktop, can you help (Old Lunch), Saturday, November 26, 2016 8:05 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Iago's selection of a diehard torture proponent for his attorney general was the last straw

― El Tomboto, Saturday, November 26, 2016 9:31 PM (seven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fred b was luna?

― velko, Tuesday, December 6, 2016 12:13 PM (four minutes ago)

I watched a Danish show recently -- it involved a mentally ill woman who was a sociopath as a teen who talked to her miscarried fetus that she kept in her purse. Kinda pissed Fred is banned, so he can't respond to my assumptions that most Danish women carry miscarried fetuses in their handbags and talk to them when they are alone.

― sarahell, Wednesday, December 7, 2016 9:12 AM (forty-eight minutes ago)

miscarried twice if vera bradley

miscarriage jokes, that'll raise the level of laughs round here

vera bradley bags are ugly you see

i lol'd

Or you live in, say, Hoboken so your local clubs only represent douchebags and terrible music
― Evan, Thursday, December 8, 2016

dont be mean to yo la tengo
― flappy bird, Thursday, December 8, 2016

Just realised I was confusing Vera Bradley with Vera Drake the abortionist mike leigh movie, which made sufjan's joke seem nastier than it was

Vera Bradley might not be so well known. Either way, I apologize for any nastiness felt. Not a good topic for clumsy jokes.

As if a danish woman would carry a vera bradley bag, fetus or no

Perhaps if she had a semester at IU

Nørmkorjenn

if pizza is allowed as pie, pie will wipe the floor with cake. or something else a bit less disgusting sounding.

― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Thursday, December 15, 2016 1:30 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

not necessarily, if pizza is allowed as pie then it stands to reason that gin & tonic can be allowed as cake and then it's all to play for again

― banfred bann (wins), Thursday, December 15, 2016 1:32 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Somebody up the road from me actually got convicted for getting Hot under the Collie :p

― calzino, Thursday, December 15, 2016 7:41 AM

Man's best friend with benefits

― troops in djibouti (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, December 15, 2016 7:41 AM

-_-so fkn sorry everyone, my girlfriend went thru this thread and pointed out all the ways i've been bad & racist. I am subjecting myself to some good old fashioned anal discipline forthwith
― Dave Plaintive rapper with classical training (imago), Wednesday, December 14, 2016 2:01 PM (yesterday)

― sarahell, Thursday, December 15, 2016 3:22 AM (eight hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

chute tyte

― Darcy Sarto (Ward Fowler), Thursday, December 15, 2016 3:26 AM (eight hours ago)

^^ Ward providing stiff competition to wins here in the concise pun department.

i don't like it, but i respect it

holy shit

tight-ass

(I saw that post earlier but had somehow skipped over the "anal discipline" part of imago's post so my initial reaction was just "wtf is wrong with you ward"

)

haha wins I did the same thing

probably because I had read the original post which didn't include that >:-(

man I am bad at ilx today

you'll make a comeback

fuck you

ilx is finally returning to normal ahhhhhh

http://68.media.tumblr.com/a70f7c04881cc40f17e4ff2bb74c0b26/tumblr_mry2aueA7s1rz9v16o1_400.gif

Leprosy always seemed like an unfair tradeoff for people who are clever enough to have figured out how to fuck an armadillo.

― My Lunch Is Older Than Your Lunch (Old Lunch), Thursday, 15 December 2016 14:32 (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

frederik was banned? any particular post caused it?

Many many posts in the US political threads. It's a 30-day. He'll be welcome back January 6.

roger that

put a baby on a rooftop and s/he will kill her/himself

― F♯ A♯ (∞), Thursday, December 15, 2016 4:03 PM (sixteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This reads like a lifehack

― Evan, Thursday, December 15, 2016 9:24 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Her last marriage was also her longest lasting: she tied the knot with Frédéric Prinz von Anhalt in 1986. He has also battled ill-health in recent years, hospitalised twice in 2010, once after swallowing a bee and another time following his gluing his eye shut.

― めんどくさかった (Matt #2), Sunday, December 18, 2016 7:19 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lolwhut

― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, December 18, 2016 7:34 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

keeps the bees out iirc

― loudmouth darraghmac ween (darraghmac), Sunday, December 18, 2016 8:03 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The boy lay on his back in bed, eyes open, staring at the ceiling. His mouth was open. In one hand, an empty tube of model-airplane cement was tightly clenched; all over the bed were empty bottles of airplane dope, paint thinner, turps.

The bees had torn him open. His guts had fallen out.

'xxx had torn him open. his guts had fallen out' is my favourite b-tier ilx meme, thx for the reminder

'b-tier' was an entirely unintentional pun, i assure you

np buzzaro

ilx hivemind

every ilx thread but each time you write the word "bee" you close the thread faster

write read

y'all even open the acclaimed music threads?

sometimes need that jolt of fury to get me going in a morning

what do you call the type of boot that's like a doc martens but with a cap toe?

― just another (diamonddave85), Monday, December 19, 2016 4:06 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i guess like the ones lamp posted

― just another (diamonddave85), Monday, December 19, 2016 4:06 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

[...]

cap toe doc marten

― lag∞n, Monday, December 19, 2016 4:07 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm a simple man with simple tastes

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/102/687/beeweapon.jpg

can't shake the feeling that people are just making up the ones I don't know

― sam jax sax jam (Jordan), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 17:58 (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

24. Can't Shake the Feeling
25. People Are Just Making Up
26. The Ones Eye Don't Know

― ILXorcist 2: The Heretic (Eric H.), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 17:59 (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink