EXCELSIOR is the second solo album by British musician LOLZ Coombes.

(xp) OMGLOL!

xpost has been stuck in my head all day

NV's still has me giggling

trying to analyze trump in this debate is like trying to provide a critical analysis of un chien andalou.

― fat fingered algorithm (rushomancy), Sunday, October 9, 2016 11:49 PM (three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

― never have i been a blue calm sea (collardio gelatinous), Sunday, October 9, 2016 11:49 PM (three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

is he holding the razor or is he the razor

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, October 9, 2016 11:49 PM (three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I think he's the piano covered in corpses

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, October 9, 2016 11:50 PM (three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

we're definitely the eyeball

― jason waterfalls (gbx), Sunday, October 9, 2016 11:50 PM (two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

imagine someone over 40 having any kind of insight into anything

― tylerw, Tuesday, October 11, 2016 11:04 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's easy if you try

― the notes the loon doesn't play (ulysses), Tuesday, October 11, 2016 11:05 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the bridge on "here comes the sun" is insanely cool, tarfumes otm. my favorite part of the song is the beginning of the final verse.. the addition of the piercing yet soothing synth lead with "the ice is slowly melting" just kills me every time. i want to believe him!!

― brimstead, Tuesday, October 11, 2016 8:39 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"the ice is slowly melting" just kills me every time. i want to believe him!!

good news!

― difficult listening hour, Tuesday, October 11, 2016 8:46 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol i meant the ice around my heart

it can be both. 😂

They're like the Bob Dylan people. Every year I get really angry when people start going on about how Murakami should win.

― I hear from this arsehole again, he's going in the river (James Morrison), Wednesday, October 12, 2016 7:01 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Which Bob Dylan people?

― LL Cantante (James Redd and the Blecchs), Wednesday, October 12, 2016 7:47 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

[...] every year people put money on Bob Dylan to win the Literature Nobel, because they are morons

― I hear from this arsehole again, he's going in the river (James Morrison), Wednesday, October 12, 2016 10:28 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

But it's advocacy which makes no difference since I doubt that the Nobel committee takes their instructions from unibet. And he won't ever win since he's a rubbish "writer". Hence: morons.

― I hear from this arsehole again, he's going in the river (James Morrison), Thursday, October 13, 2016 1:09 AM (nine hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Sorry. Just that the cultural adulation of both Bob Dylan and Murakami makes me very cross.

― I hear from this arsehole again, he's going in the river (James Morrison), Thursday, October 13, 2016 1:10 AM (nine hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

[...]

Well, fuck me, i'm going to go live in a box

― I hear from this arsehole again, he's going in the river (James Morrison), Thursday, October 13, 2016 7:02 AM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what i said about M.O. that got me banned a few years ago, still true

― The Hon. J. Piedmont Mumblethunder (Dr Morbius), Thursday, October 13, 2016 1:10 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

was what morbs said racist or was it misogynistic?

― iatee, Thursday, October 13, 2016 1:12 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The traits that would make me insta-vote for her are the ones that will keep her from running.

xp just ugly, very ugly

― aaaaaaaauuuuuuuuu (melting robot) (WilliamC), Thursday, October 13, 2016 1:13 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it described what the enabler of a war criminal is

― The Hon. J. Piedmont Mumblethunder (Dr Morbius), Thursday, October 13, 2016 1:13 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

please say it again

― Har-@-Iago (wins), Thursday, October 13, 2016 1:13 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

There is this theory of the Morbius. A twist in the fabric of space where time becomes a loop

― Neanderthal, Thursday, October 13, 2016 1:14 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

read that line in my best english accent

+1

Flag Post isn't a mod decision so can we not

― the kids are alt right (darraghmac), Thursday, October 13, 2016 12:53 PM (eleven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I only regret that I had but one FP to give for my message board.

― Mordy, Thursday, October 13, 2016 12:55 PM (nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

xp says the guy from the country that wouldn't fight Hitler

― sarahell, Thursday, October 13, 2016 12:56 PM (nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

We were just about to ffs

― the kids are alt right (darraghmac), Thursday, October 13, 2016 12:57 PM (eight minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fair enough

― mh 😏, Thursday, October 13, 2016 12:58 PM (seven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

a little slow, a little late

― sarahell, Thursday, October 13, 2016 12:59 PM (five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

We'd taken drink

― the kids are alt right (darraghmac), Thursday, October 13, 2016 1:00 PM (five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

1947: Ireland declares war on Germany

― nomar, Thursday, October 13, 2016 1:01 PM (four minutes ago) Bookmark

flopson's edit of that nobel prize exchange rightly focuses on JM's collapsing universe but i still wanted to put in a word for this bit of skot timing:

They're like the Bob Dylan people. Every year I get really angry when people start going on about how Murakami should win.

― I hear from this arsehole again, he's going in the river (James Morrison), Wednesday, October 12, 2016 1:01 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Which Bob Dylan people?

― LL Cantante (James Redd and the Blecchs), Wednesday, October 12, 2016 1:47 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

all of them.

― scott seward, Wednesday, October 12, 2016 1:56 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Sam Kriss on the SV/Muskian obsession with simulation theory:

"Tech billionaires want to destroy the universe"

...Just a little tweak to the formula: All that appears to exist must be destroyed. There’s something admirable in this blasphemous ambition, but it’s based on some very shaky ideas. It helps to look at an influence on simulation theory that’s a little better known that the Nag Hammadi codices: 1999’s The Matrix, in which a gang of heroic freedom-fighters try to wake humanity from a false computer-generated universe and return them to the real world. The film has plenty of knowing references to those older traditions, and to some newer ones: In one scene, Neo is shown hiding his cash in a hollowed out copy of Jean Baudrillard’s Simulacra and Simulation (appropriately, a black hardback edition that doesn’t seem to have ever actually been printed.) The philosopher himself wasn’t particularly pleased, insisting in an interview that the film fundamentally misunderstood his work, that ‘The Matrix is surely the kind of film about the matrix that the matrix would have been able to produce.’ In The Matrix, there’s a real world behind the simulation. It’s not pretty, but it’s the truth. In his book, Baudrillard also talks about virtual realities and deceptive images, but his point isn’t that they have clouded our perception of the reality beyond. The present system of social images is so vast and all-encompassing that it’s produced a total reality for itself; it only lies when it has us thinking that there’s something else behind the façade. Baudrillard, always something of an overgrown child, loved to refer to Disneyland: As he pointed out, it’s in no way a fake—when you leave its gates, you return to an America that’s just one giant Disneyland, a copy without an original, from coast to coast. ‘The simulacrum is never that which conceals the truth—it is the truth which conceals that there is none.’ Digital and cinematic media actively construct our experience of reality. The world of film stars and theme parks, social media and supermarket shelves designed to look like something out of an old-time grocery—this is the one we live in. Our Silicon Valley Satanists have made a very questionable assumption: What if there’s nowhere to break out into?

― (rocketcat) 🚀🐱 👑🐟 (kingfish), Friday, October 14, 2016 12:48 PM (thirty-four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

‘The simulacrum is never that which conceals the truth—it is the truth which conceals that there is none.’

namaste

― mh 😏, Friday, October 14, 2016 12:56 PM (twenty-five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Especially since it's EXACTLY what he said he liked to do! The logic is very strained:

1. I was lying when I said I grope women.

2. I'm sorry and that's not who I am.

3. I was telling the truth when I said I don't grope women.

4. But actually all guys talk like that and it's not a big deal.

5. And the women who say I groped them are lying by saying that I did exactly what I said I liked to do (because I was lying when I said that).

He should sue himself for defamation.

...

― go get your winebox (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 14 October 2016 17:23 (ten minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Just wish he could keep his accent. Boba Fett's a Kiwi now, why can't we have Imperial Australians?

― I hear from this arsehole again, he's going in the river (James Morrison), Friday, October 14, 2016 8:35 PM (yesterday)

...

Jeeze. Come on mate. You'd prefer another target, a military target? In your own time.
Dantooine? Yeah, nah. Boys, when you're ready, have a lash.

― MatthewK, Friday, October 14, 2016 10:16 PM (yesterday)

the real October surprise was the friendship we found along the way

― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Tuesday, October 18, 2016 4:38 PM (fifty-two minutes ago)

Bradd JaffyVerified account
‏@BraddJaffy
Trump is bringing Obama's half-brother to the debate, @KatyTurNBC reports

― k3vin k., Tuesday, 18 October 2016 22:19 (twenty minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Omg, Obama's half brother! They should cancel the debate now.

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 18 October 2016 22:28 (eleven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Hillary should bring Trump's worthless whole children.

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 18 October 2016 22:29 (ten minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Per example saying something 'Esta muy verga' literally translates as "it's very penis" but the meaning is actually "this is really cool" however saying "Esta de la verga" which roughly translates as "it's penis-y" means "it's awful".

― ✖✖✖ (Moka), Friday, October 21, 2016 1:38 PM (thirteen minutes ago)

What thread's that from?

Azealia Banks

n.b. don't read it it's terrible

would you say esta de la verga?

It kinda swings back and forth between very penis and penis-y imo.

Can someone post a clusterfuck thread summary to the clusterfuck summary thread

trying and failing to find an inoffensive sofia vergara joke, walking away slowly

that that thread did not devolve into spanish-language insults traded by moka and jim is of great sadness to me

she didn't say the n word, I'm calling it a win

one of many wins

I remember wins.

anyway, have we really kept the one Excelsior thread all year?

I mean, a LOLZ is cool and all but come the crunch, you gave the review to the EXCELSIOR?

old lunch has been particularly good in the election thread recently but this one stood out

People have been telling me, they say, 'Old Lunch, you're fantastic, you should stop taking those pills.' So I flushed them down the toilet, and the people have never been more vociferous in their praise, and the government has never been more out to get me.

xp

i copped an EXCELSIOR on the gilmore girls thread yesterday and not a LOL, yall lost your touch

fp-ed you for 1. an awful thread title suggestion and 2. an awful thread title suggestion involving a stupider tv show

you're such a Luke

i don't understand why anyone outside of teenagers who haven't grown out of Little Women watch such garbage.

Hey now.

it's okay, Tuomas, you're from Finland.

i totally get the yen to recapture teenage emotionally intensity tbh; not sure how healthy it is

shit i just read bits and pieces of that azealia thread

could've backed up moka on a couple things s/he said

didn't really read anything jim said though

o well

How many cars can 6 minute guy wash in an hour? 10. How many cars can 10 minute guy wash in an hour? 6. So how many cars can both of them combined wash in an hour? 6+10=16. Ok, so how long does it take for them to wash one car? 60/16=3,75 minutes.

― Frederik B, Tuesday, 1 November 2016 10:48 (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

one thing the politics threads have been missing is people solving maths puzzles and showing their working, so i for one am thrilled at this recent development

― yokohama fuckdolphin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 1 November 2016 11:02 (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Just a pity Morbz isn't here to disagree with their solutions.

― Millions of species Faye Dunaway (Tom D.), Tuesday, 1 November 2016 11:03 (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

thread was moving too fast for a "middle-out" joke unfortunately

morbs zing moratorium pls

zs fundraising drive for fulltime ilx posting role pls

If you died and went to Hell - a Poll

i read that post like 3 times last night, cheered me up yesterday....lolz

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/bbF1IwgFLEA/maxresdefault.jpg

In Sydney Hillary's already the new president!

― Trump le Monde (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, November 8, 2016 8:30 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

cool to hear that we are expanding the American empire

American Anglo empire

you forgot to include "feminist"

I'm half-convinced that he's going to start recruiting death row inmates for cabinet positions at this point.

― i need microsoft installed on my desktop, can you help (Old Lunch), Tuesday, November 15, 2016 1:50 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'd figure the numbers on Trump's promises will start to add up quick. You got to figure it would cost probably 2-3 billion to try and deport 2-3 million people. That would only be a cost of legal and logistics of $1000 a case and I would figure that it could cost lots more per case than that.
― earlnash, Tuesday, November 15, 2016 2:15 PM (twenty-seven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

he could just ask Obama what it cost and then try to get a better deal tbh

― sleepingbag, Tuesday, November 15, 2016 1:43 PM (nine minutes ago)

xp new new low imo