Real England

Shepherds Bush has never been the same since they closed down the Jamaican snooker club under the railway bridge where you could buy weed.

Instead, you could pay a visit to Maryon Park in Charlton - it's where they filmed Blow-Up, and you won't be far from famous soccerball stadium The Valley.

half the adverts made in london are filmed in beck road e8, where my sister lives: also throbbing gristle AND you've got foetus on yr breath were once based there (in different houses obviously)

plus it is right by london fields of martin amis fame, near where 23 skidoo had a studio if memory serves

the eel and mash shops have all moved further east sadly, as have the rag trade sweatshops (think they mostly moved to south east asia)

if you want a glimpse of the real london of the future head to any of the new developments along the river e.g. imperial wharf/chelsea harbour, battersea reach, 'riverlight' at nine elms, st george's wharf at vauxhall, pretty much anywhere east of tower bridge, and marvel at the huge and shiny apartment buildings, the well sculpted parks, the lack of amenities beyond a handful of chain restaurants, the absence of any life culture ambience vibrance or character. on the other hand, don't.

and also the way they block out pleasant river vistas and open spaces of light for everyone else!

plus it is right by london fields of martin amis fame

point of order, dear old Parting Anus did not actually set any of the eponymous book in the area of Hackney or London Fields itself, the action taking place entirely in Notting Hill and environs.

Basically a 'flick through the A-Z looking for a title' job.

lol i would not want to be mistaken for someone who has actually read a book by that fool

(tho in fact i did read "other people" the very first week i moved to london, in 1983: it is garbage)

good point, devastating self-own by me there

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/1891558/woman-who-had-public-sex-with-a-model-dinosaur-at-childrens-playground-is-identified-by-cops/

Deep cleaned with "strong disinfectant".

did she fuck its head off?? confused

That's how they became extinct.

Disinfectant was too strong?

i assune 'game pie' is poultry and not to do with fitba

new developments... the absence of any life culture ambience vibrance or character

remember, i live in New York.

http://i.imgur.com/5iUpJ9I.png

http://i.imgur.com/gTOv7MT.jpg

https://twitter.com/DistantSoundz/status/783782550317703168

9pm GMT...so 10pm?

^^ real dn

did this (from August) ever get posted here? seems like its natural home:

https://twitter.com/danhancox/status/784780942682558464

oh ffs why did i have to read that?

at least this little nugget made me giggle!

"After all, the Attlee government executed people – even innocent people like Timothy Evans. If such judicial killing was good enough for Clem then it is about time we returned to the Spirit of 45 and got the gallows going."

is Meagher real? i can't even understand the tone there

the author of this bit was (nominative determinism ahoy!) someone called Dean Quick !

http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/hull-is-the-least-prosperous-in-uk-but-on-the-verge-of-resurrection/story-29802905-detail/story.html

WOOOOO WE'RE NUMBER 1!

these unexpected boosts are always a treat, especially when you are already thinking "it couldn't get much better than this" !

what is the realest London i can find during 6 days in November?

― The Hon. J. Piedmont Mumblethunder (Dr Morbius), Monday, 3 October 2016 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

A pint and game pie at the Royal Oak.

(let us know the days?)

i arrive 24th, leave 30th

i appoint Andrew F as FAP majordomo

real or not, FAP alternatives to the Lexington (Tue 29) are Princess Louise, Royal Oak, and...?

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14906850.XTC_frontman_recovering_after_varnish_accident/?ref=fbshr

Swindon Advertiser headline or Half Man Half Biscuit song?

almost makes me proud to be english

http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/former-spurs-star-david-bentley-spotted-in-gloucester-pub-and-kebab-shop/story-29891443-detail/story.html

xp
His sense of pain was working overtime!

'Tis the season

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/nov/21/bakewell-winter-wonderland-labelled-disgusting-mud-bath

This is going to happen every single year now eh

is there such a thing as a “winter wonderland” that is actually really good and heartily enjoyed by every one of its patrons, or are they uniformly forlorn rip-offs? if it's the latter then you'd think people would have twigged by now.

the south bank's german-style xmas market is a rip-off but a fairly lovely one. iirc leeds of all places had a decent one too

but anything that isn't german-style is fairly doomed, yeah

it would be sad if someone went to one of these wonderlands hoping to see some realness/children crying in a muddy field etc, but when they got there it was really charming and magical

lol

And visitors to a Christmas lights show and winter wonderland-themed event at Woburn Abbey in Bedfordshire last year demanded their money back when they encountered melting ice sculptures, an effigy burned in a wheelchair and 90-minute queues.

Say what now?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/incoming/teenager-dragged-pizza-restaurant-raped-9307708

first tube ride ever, train taken out of service = real England

LOOOOOOL, have fun here, Morbs!

aww it's like they made a special effort for your first trip :)

Don't know how long you're here for but you might be around for the first will-they-won't-they tube strike of the festive season.

http://i.imgur.com/XfMg4QN.png

http://i.imgur.com/hKJ4UVv.png

people who you kinda sorta hope get their heads kicked in

http://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/news/gritty-mcgritface-definitely-not-kp86z6dcd I can think of another name for this.

adolf gritler ftw

Auschgritz, Gritoris, Gary Gritter all not doing too well I believe