what to do when your roommate doesn't realize you're home and thusly is having loud sex in the living room

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And the trolley that went to Land of Imagination was perfectly normal, too.

Dude, that guy had a great pad and HE DIDN'T EVEN LIVE THERE!

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Saturday, 17 July 2004 00:01 (twenty-one years ago)

seems there's quite a lot of ass there for the asssexing.

― ken c (ken c), Saturday, 17 July 2004 07:10 (twenty-one years ago)

baby got back

― the neurotic awakening of sir mixalot (blueski), Saturday, 17 July 2004 08:50 (twenty-one years ago)

um maybe this was addressed elsewhere, I'm not gonna reread the whole thread right now, but...

Gear, is your roommate aware of this thread? Or ILX for that matter? Just wondering...

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Saturday, 17 July 2004 08:58 (twenty-one years ago)

mr. rogers looks so fucking cool in that photo.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Saturday, 17 July 2004 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

He looks like the gay sidekick from Will & Grace.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Saturday, 17 July 2004 20:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I know! Very mellow and chic.

er, xpost.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Saturday, 17 July 2004 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

We attended the Fremont Solstice Parade a few weeks ago, and as always it started with a group of naked bicyclists (most sporting fancy body paint). A little later, just strolling along so that we were unsure if he was part of the parade or just some guy, was A NAKED GUY WEARING A TRUCKER HAT. Gear!, if you wonder what became of him, he's in Seattle.

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Sunday, 18 July 2004 23:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Seattle's gain is truly Echo Park's loss...

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 19 July 2004 01:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm speechless. This is like watching video of Hendrix at the Isle of Wight or something....some amazing thing that I can't be a part of because it's over....

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Thursday, 22 July 2004 00:44 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

It occurs to me that you should have burst into the room chanting: "I see you baby, mounting that ass, mounting that ass."

Unless that wasn't a hit in America.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

A bit of a delayed reaction here, Alba.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"l'esprit de l'escalier"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, I'm not sure why it suddenly occured to me. Gear's roommate and her trucker hatted pal are often are on my mind.

I suppose he could sing 'I saw you' instead. But he'd have to find the trucker hat guy again.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, Where's the Trucker Hat Guy?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 20:09 (twenty-one years ago)

20 million. First weekend. Guaranteed.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

with my insane work schedule, I haven't had much time these days to sit around and home and see my roommate, nor use any dishes. So in the past week, the dishes have filled both sides of the sink with no cleaning in sight. I'm slowly taking my dishes and glasses from the cabinets and putting them in my room. I'm hoping she won't notice. If I play my cards right, maybe I can move out without her even noticing.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Nicely done.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Will you leave her the couch as a momento?

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

She left a memento on the couch, so why not?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 20:35 (twenty-one years ago)

fuck no, the couch is mine. I'm leaving her a napkin with this URL scribbled on it.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 20:36 (twenty-one years ago)

will it be a cum-stained napkin?

― purple patch (electricsound), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm leaving her a napkin with this URL scribbled on it.

Please, please do this. For all of us.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.mrfen.com/RickSteves/assets/images/autogen/a_writing2_140.jpg

― |a|m|t|r|s|t| (amateurist), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Shame on you for associating the virgin-pure Rick Steves with such sinful hedonism.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm leaving her a napkin with this URL scribbled on it.

Oh my God, PLEASE do this. Tell me you haven't moved yet.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 23:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I caught the roomie in between anonymous scrooz and said "wow Sept. 30th is when our lease is up, I didn't even realize it!" and told her I was moving to Los Feliz. As I figured her plan was already set to move into the her BFF's two-bedroom since his old roommate vacated to move to NYC.

The countdown begins, and Gear!'s apartment hunt commences.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 04:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Knoxville's nice.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 05:06 (twenty-one years ago)

How's the rent?

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 05:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't rent. Four bedroom house!

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 06:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm there!

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 06:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Use the door this time.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 06:15 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah sorry about that window...

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 06:30 (twenty-one years ago)

haha so of course I come home from work and what's going on? my roommate's getting a FOOT MASSAGE on the COUCH while watching The Terminator. This glum-faced indie kid with patchy facial hair is delivering the footrub. I'm really beginning to think she trolls the high schools for indie twinkage.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 07:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Could it possibly be the same guy without the hat?

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 07:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Definitely not, word on the street is that "he turned out to be a jerk!"

I'd also like to add that my roommate has been known to get drunk in public and scream out "I'm hahrny!" in a faux-Irish accent whilst grabbing confused "boys" nearby.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 07:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Does it look like he's going to be spending the night? Foot massage, that's not really one night stand shit, is it. And watching Terminator. It's like they've been dating 5 years or something.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 07:19 (twenty-one years ago)

As I walked in she informed they had been drinking "Transylvanian wine" and asked me if I wanted some. I declined. I handed her a bill from the mailbox (because she wouldn't have picked it up, it's only 1am after all) and she said "a bill for me! Just like you, Bill! Tee hee!" She giggled, he giggled, I darted off to my room where I sit huddled in the dark under a blanket.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 07:25 (twenty-one years ago)

how did you end up sharing a flat with this character gear?

― gem (trisk), Friday, 20 August 2004 07:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I shall cut 'n' paste the story from another thread:

Feb 2003, Adam Green show at Spaceland in Los Angeles. I was invited by some friends to check him out, saying I probably wouldn't like him aside from "Jessica", but it was cheap. And so I went. The opener of all people was the dreadful Jesse Malin, and most people were there to see him. After Malin finished his set, Green came out and played to a mostly empty room. After he finished, my friend Mikhail began darting around trying to talk to an amazingly beautiful girl, my friend Sam went off into a corner and sat down, and I went to the bar. This girl (future roomie) came up to me and started babbling away, asking me how old I was, because she had a bet with a friend. I said 28, we started talking music.

Possible warning signs off the bat:

- despite name-dropping The Magnetic Fields, Yo La Tengo, and other very very good bands, she admitted that "emo is a real guilty pleasure for me, tee hee" which I would have taken as "I love emo omg" if I wasn't so drunk.

- she was there to see Jesse Malin and not Adam Green.

- she said that while she was an actress, she "wasn't Hollywood", "never drank", "was just a regular girl", and "loved to read". Which of course meant "I'm not Hollywood, but I'm trying!", "I drink constantly!", "I'm insane!", and "I carry around copies of Glamorama but don't read them!"

we talked for awhile and exchanged numbers and figured we'd hang out. We didn't hang out for awhile, then we finally did sometime closer to summer. We got along well, she really wasn't too bad at that point. We talked about getting a place, just because we got along reasonably well and both wanted to live in a better area. So we agreed to find a place that we'd sign a year lease for, and almost immediately I realized she was a chameleon who presented whatever side would show her in the best light to whoever she was around. So I never saw the side that I see every day now, until it was too late. Now I have to deal with Ryan Adams blasting in my living room at 4am, dishes piled up everywhere, her friends parking in the parking spaces of other people who live in the building, my roommate getting drunk and flashing passerby at the corner of N0rt0n and G@rdner, and trucker hats + emo emo emo all the time.

Ultimately it's my own damn fault, I have no one to blame but myself. I should have made sure!

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 07:30 (twenty-one years ago)

that story makes it appear as though we hung and and voila, roomies, but it was over the course of many months.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 07:32 (twenty-one years ago)

see this makes me so glad i decided never to share ever ever again. of course rent is cheap here so i am lucky. i can't stand having flat(room)mates

― gem (trisk), Friday, 20 August 2004 08:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Gear's loss here is so clearly ILX's gain, though.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 08:10 (twenty-one years ago)

so true roxy! errrr silver linings and other such hackneyed cliches.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 20 August 2004 08:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Jules : Whoa... whoa... whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same fuckin' thing.
Vincent : Not the same thing, the same ballpark.
Jules : It ain't no fuckin' ballpark either. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but touchin' his wife's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her holyiest of holies, ain't the same ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same fuckin' sport. Foot massages don't mean shit.
Vincent : Have you ever given a foot massage?
Jules : Don't be tellin' me about foot massages - I'm the foot fuckin' master.
Vincent : Given a lot of 'em?
Jules : Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be tickling or nothin'.
Vincent : Would you give a guy a foot massage?
Jules : Fuck you.
Vincent : You give them a lot?
Jules : Fuck you.
Vincent : You know, I'm getting kinda tired, I could use a foot massage.
Jules : Man, you best back off, I'm gittin' pissed.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Friday, 20 August 2004 10:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Why oh why did I never see this thread?

― mcd (mcd), Friday, 20 August 2004 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

how old's your roommate btw?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 August 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

old enough

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 20 August 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

how do you know this? (thinks back to see if stevem has ever sported a t.hat)

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 August 2004 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

24 years old, I think.

fuck, not again!

every fucking morning, I swear, she gets up and goes off somewhere and doesn't turn off her fucking alarm, and now it's going off, which means I have to gingerly negotiate a minefield of emo CDs, dirty underwear that is not her own, and makeup products in order to shut it off.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

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