Blue Saturday

it's the Challenge Cup final this afty! really would be best enjoyed in the pub, especially if there's a few Rovers fans in looking for a piss-take. if i stop at home it'll have to be Hudds-Wolves and hope i can find a less crappy stream than last week

i spend inordinate amounts of time cobbling together overlong playlists but usually on a "these things sound good together" basis

meanwhile David Byrne tries to get in on the action

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3TsChDHTQM

challenge cup is the biggest game in uk domestic RL, right

yeah, the FA Cup when the FA Cup was still the most important match of the season

stayed at home, WORTH IT

http://imgur.com/X8sqWLQ
http://imgur.com/aQ74JhX
I need to get my life in order...

Also need to learn how to post pictures, fuck it, not important.

Oh, is it like this?
http://i.imgur.com/X8sqWLQ.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/aQ74JhX.jpg

Vodka ran out like this minute, let's see how this night goes...

http://i.imgur.com/sfMv2j3.jpg

i've got it just about reined in at the moment but god knows how people who are sober all the time live

alls i want to do is pub pub pub

idk what even i want to do tbh. not a single screaming alternative so much as the car outside inviting me to hop in and drive and be anywhere else but work come tomorrow at 9am

that's the feeling

Pubbin' it up

cant's unsee that coffee table

or is it a mixed media collage entitled DEPRESSION #1

I'm curious about the compasses.

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Angry dog barking outside. Should've been asleep hours ago. Everybody loves me at a distance. Car idles. Door. Away.

i've got it just about reined in at the moment but god knows how people who are sober all the time live

Not had a drink for a month now, today is the first hard day ... even though was never a daytime drinker I would love a bottle of wine right now.
On the plus side it is the middle of the month and we haven't run out of money which is an unusual but pleasant feeling.

Yeah there's the rub, think I might've been a millionaire if not for alco-wastrelsy.

Sometimes I worry that every kind word I offer and every bit of helpfulness and workplace chirpiness and friendly customer service is just some hollow extended schmooze in a dead-souled quest for ingratiation and approval

Or alternatively, I don't really believe people when they say nice things about me. Like I really pathologically don't believe them.

i've.. started working with an aa sponser.. just a couple meetings. it just doesn't feel right, though. i don't have the obsessive cravings for booze, i just have a tendency to reach for it when bad shit happens. i don't really enjoy it anymore, anyhow, it interferes with my medication and just makes me feel lousy. this all sounds like rationalization but i mean, instinctively the whole thing just doesn't feel right at all.

and i'm just really hesitant to take the crap in this big book seriously, it feels like i'm turning my critical thinking off. it doesn't really describe me that much, except in a horoscope-y way that's more attributable to my lack of self esteem than anything booze related. one "case study" about a guy who had some bad drinking episodes, didn't drink for 50 years and then "succumbed" to alcoholism and died 5 days later... i mean, i don't know what to do with that. seems like it could happen to anybody.

Yeah I have big issues with 12 step and it's not the higher power stuff that bothers me, it's the reductiveness of alcoholism as a theory. And in my case too maybe that's partly avoidant but there's bad drinking decisions and positive drinking experiences in life, I find it easier and more helpful to try a case by case approach to drinks - even if I call it wrong more often than not.

Special pleading obviously but fuck it pubs are fantastic, I like hanging in them and talking shit to all my friends who also hang in them

Love 2 pub, obv

God bless all here

Special pleading obviously but fuck it pubs are fantastic, I like hanging in them and talking shit to all my friends who also hang in them

I hear you. I'm probably lucky that the days when I knew lots of people who found pubs fantastic are long gone. Probably.

A mash-up of Eliot's "Ash Wednesday" and the lyric of "Sun City" that I can't manage on the phone. The thickest void at the heart of the family, amongst the people who love me unconditionally, wordless, helpless. Nobody left to explain to or to ask for help? Not help maybe. Kontakt.

This quiet diplomacy ain't nothing but a joke.

Took a wrong turn in the taiga. Nothing but a flat empty maze as far as the I can see.

Nothing quite like hitting the pub on a Wednesday for a mid week respite

AA is creepy and weird, btw.

(If it works for you, great, no offense, it just makes me feel even more disconnected from people and life)

if I could just stay curled up in a ball all the time I think I'd be ok. would probably need a lot of strong benzos or something too

that was a general statement, not related to my valuable AA opinions

AA feels like the worst kind of cult but I guess everybody chooses the cult that suits them best. Am wholly sober btw. This is the kind of achy void that usually sends me running to the pub but I'm visiting my mom so I can't and tomorrow when I go home i don't really want to - think I need to do the curl up instead, even sans sedatives.

This is all inside me, or absent from inside me, I dunno. I don't know what's missing. I have no idea how to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

didn't know where to put this but jfc

http://www.poferries.com/en/hull-rotterdam/minicruises/themed-minicruise/shiiine-on-minicruise-amsterdam

The debut event will feature you two headline performances from Peter Hook & the Light. Jim Bob, Dodgy and many more bands /DJ’s will play at this unique event. There will be exhibitions and film screenings across both days. The party will continue on Saturday afternoon with bands and DJ’s in a central Amsterdam venue.

probably as good a fanfare as any to throw yourself into the middle of the north sea to

Freezing to death does seem preferable.

if it's good enough for me it's good enough for you

Drowning in the North Sea and finally finding release>>>getting cornered at the bar by Jim Bob and Hooky on a P+O ferry.

I wish I was dead, or sober. Or a duck.

Can't even concentrate on a video game any more.

Would like to melt in the rain, run away down the gutter, rejoin the effluent society.

Sleep, cousin, death.

if you were a duck, i would want you on my team.

^^^^

don't fall through the quacks man

'not today

just burned out. one way and another it's been a fucking year. gonna look after myself a little better and be the best damn duck i can be.

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQuPEcklPanNqBAAloNGMcFR-iXDTNzsc_uv7lWc-hQ8u-0rXJ7LQ
This mole has always been an inspiration to me, maybe ducks are better role models.

ducks give you total toilet protection.

http://i.imgur.com/euwu7g3.gif

mole you sucker! is a shit name for a western

duckskin notebooks are shit tho tbf

no theyre not

quick google doesnt suggest a pun here im sorry. in 2007 we'd have been all over this shit