Golf - classic or dud

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Golf is great, what other sports enable men to wear pastel shades?

― davel, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

classic!!!

its just great, can't explain why exactly, its perfectly sedate to watch, but things do sort of coalesce into being. as for playing, i have to make do with the occasional round of pitch and putt

― gareth, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It's not the golf so much as the sodding golf courses that I mind. Firstly they encourage murder as bodies are always being found on golf courses (well not always but sometimes. Occasionally). Secondly they take up land that could be used for better things. Where I grew up in leafy Bucks it was golf courses a-go-go for all the middle aged commuter men and they put one on top of the pick your own strawberries farm where I used to stuff my face and get sunburnt as a child. Then when I was living in Spain at the povvy end of the Costa del Sol there were severe water shortages so we had no water from 8pm onwards and if you forgot to fill a bath / bucket before you went out you were stuffed but OH LOOK just outside town is the swanky golf course they had some big competition on a few years back and they are sprinklering that all hours of the day grrr. OK so they need them for the tourist euro but still it's irritating.

Rant over.

― Emma, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

''Peter Allis = satan.''

am sad i am missing the open (already missed wimbledon and the eng sri lanka test series) but the good thing abt missing the open is not hearing Peter allis' 'commentary'. It's just torture really.

― Julio Desouza, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Grew up a bit of a golf nut in the very early eighties -- still think Tom Watson's amazing chip shot in the US Open on the seventeenth hole ranks up there as a Great Moment. But this fascination could well be due to location -- my grandparents lived in Pebble Beach, home of some of the best courses in the States or anywhere, and where that particular Open was held that year. My parents live in Carmel now literally within walking distance from the beach where you can see some of the courses, and seeing the courses and the whole setting is for me just part of home, a nostalgia-of-the-present I can't and won't deny. Don't follow it now beyond knowing Woods is predominant and Els his closest rival (I gather), and I think the urge to create courses in absurdly impractical locations is sad on any number of levels. But visiting Scotland made me appreciate why it was created there and so popular -- plenty of lush greenery, plenty of good space for courses. So why not?

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'll tell you why not! Cos golf courses ruin the natural lush greenery with their horrible landscaping and prevent people who aren't stomping around in silly jumpers from enjoying the countryside!

― Emma, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Emma is OTM here. Silly jumpers + vast amounts of environmental degradation = double dud.

― RickyT, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Are you referring to Scotland or England here? (I'm not being snarky, I'm honestly curious -- I was under the impression that most of the Scottish courses have been around for many a moon anyway, so they're the landscape by default now.)

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not sure that most of the courses in Scotland *are* that old, and there's been a big explosion in golf course construction in England over the last twenty years or so. The area round my parents house in Yorkshire is covered with the damn things, many of them having replaced the few bits of uncultivated land that remained in the area.

― RickyT, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Golf = men in pastel diamond knit tank tops = Classic

― davel, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think golf evolved in scotland as a way of using naturally occuring coastal scrub land.

They then started creating artificial coastal scrubland all over the world.

apparently American golf courses are more "artificial" than Irish & Scottish ones, and there is some pressure on courses over here to become less natural so as to appeal to yankee dollar.

but whatever, it's all golf = all boring middle class men off playing their boring game and cosying up to the boss over a few gin and tonics and then drink driving home.

― DV, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ronans answer is my answer as well. Classic. Having a golf course around sure beats having a soccer pitch, baseball diamond, basketball court etc etc around.

The fact that there is no player interaction only increases the enjoyment of the game for me. Sublime and no jock0's around to spoil your day.

― lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

As a matter of fact I shall be hitting the links (as we say) Saturday afternoon.

golfing with the boss=dud, which is why almost nobody does it.

― lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I hate golf. Last Sunday whilst walking in the park talking to my mother and aunt whilst taking our dogs round a park that boarders on a golf course, a very rude old man starting telling us to be quiet as he wanted to tee off. Git. So, we just talked more loudly (we weren't shouting in the first place). So, anyway golf courses are evil. It is all fun shouting "skin" is you hear a golfer shout "fore".

― jel --, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Tiger's petulant bitching at the photographers is by itself sufficient proof of ultimate dud-ness. Two words for all golfers, squatting to line up their putts as a reverential hush falls over the gallery: SWING BATTER!!

― briania, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Golf = hawaiian shirts. DO keep up! Classic obv.

― Jeff W, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

leave us golfers alone!!! you can have your extreme in your face lets eat a gallon of high fructose corn syrup while we make funny faces sports. we just want to be left alone!!!

― lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Golf itself=neither classic or dud.

My husband streaking across golf courses at sunrise in the early 70's=classic.

― Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

He has defiled the game I love. I weep.

― lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm with Mark Twain ("a good walk spoiled"). Dull, badly-dressed people playing a boring sport that has been dominated by upper class WASPs.

― Martin Skidmore, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'll be hitting the links on Sunday. Can't stand to watch the sport on T.V. but enjoy playing. Plus it makes a great drinking game when your playing with your friends.

― Chris, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I openly challenge Tiger Woods to a fight -- anywhere, anytime. Golf is the worst.

― Kris, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

how can a sport you essentially play by yourself be dominated by anybody (upper middle class WASPs or whoever)?

― lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Golf = classic. Tiger = Super-Classic.

― Dan Perry, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Golf-Huge amounts of land cleared out so that people can hit a ball around-D

Miniture Golf- A good time for druken teenagers on a Saturday Night. Watch where your standing at the ramp over water hole, I was hit with a flying ball and got a bruised collar bone. It was funny till the booze wore off...

― brg30, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

'Peter Allis = Satan' = the strangest and silliest statement I've ever seen; I can hardly think of anyone harder to despise. The man is a god.

Classic Allis - Hay exchange from yesterday;

Allis (lamenting Seve's withdrawal due to being rubbish now): 'I'm afraid there aren't too many things you get better at as you get older'.

Hay: 'Sweeping?'.

― Ally C, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't know their names but.

today they showed a bunch of CLIPS together [highlights, perhaps] with some krazy 'dance' music over the top.

one commentator: is that the sort of music you like to dance to?

another commentator: no, actually. I'm more of a gavotte-merchant.

I have an inkling that the another one was allis. if so: AllyC is OTM.

― RJG, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ben wright's comments about women's breasts getting in the way of their swing was pretty classic. i like how another name for the mullet is 'lpga'.

― keith, Saturday, 20 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Bah Peter Allis is a 19th hole saloon bar reactionary sexist BORE who thinks that the 'little woman' shld never be allowed near a golf course and who in interviews makes dull and predictable comments abt the 'menace' of political correctness (which just means he can't tell his racist jokes anymore...)

― Andrew L, Sunday, 21 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Golf is classic because Jesper Parnevik plays it.

― Ally, Sunday, 21 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes the land is all "ruined". Of course!

― Ronan, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

walter benjamin to thread!!

― mark s, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

AllyC is, as he so often is, bang OTM.

and the end of the open yesterday was rather thrilling

― chris, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Commentary during a lull in yesterday's final round (which, contrary to most, I found infinitely less entertainng than when the leaders were shedding shots like confetti in Saturday's gale in front of no spectators whatsoever):

Allis: A mention to Mrs [x] who's just about recovered now from the shock of the burglary. I hope they catch the culprits soon.
Hay: Terrible. [Proceeds to say something about appropriate capital punishment to apply when they are caught]
Allis: Ooh no, surely a bit of flogging first. So the punishment lasts longer.
Hay: Oh yes, of course.

― Jeff W, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

eleven months pass...

Lehman Vaginal Overload, "Pin High (Parnevik's Panda Remix)"

― Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 19 July 2003 12:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Ronan909: the american dudes are like "hi sam, you've got a tan"
z3mk0: "yes well done beverley you were right"
thegardencentre: american commentators are like that for every sport though
thegardencentre: in fact ther news too
Ronan909: yeah zemko, and everytime someone wins and the wife comes on camera he goes
"now you can have that new kitchen love"
thegardencentre: "and a difficult genocide in central africa pete"
z3mk0: haha
*************: that's pretty OTM
Ronan909: he's said it at least three times
thegardencentre: "yes, a tricky situation for the malawians lesley"
*************: "that's right bob"
Ronan909: seve ballesteros was a great commentator
Ronan909: when he did it
Ronan909: is he on again this time
z3mk0: yesterday they werre discussing wind pattertsn and one said "he's talkign out his isobarse"
Ronan909: haha
cozenyo: haha
z3mk0: i was shocked!
thegardencentre: "1500 a day dead dave, the strike rate is rising"
Ronan909: it is so great, the best hangover tv ever
cozenyo: PARTAY tv
Ronan909: "war in iraq, wrap up warm folks"
thegardencentre: COMEDOWN TV
thegardencentre: HANGOVER TV
thegardencentre: PARTAAAAY TV
Ronan909: payne stewart
Ronan909: i miss him
thegardencentre: yea:-(
*************: "too bad about the fire that killed 15, ted"
z3mk0: bring the payne
Ronan909: haha
thegardencentre: too bad i fucked your wife pacey
Ronan909: FORE!
*************: :-)

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 19 July 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Ronan909: people should shout fore at raves
Ronan909: and wear golf clothes
*************: hahaha
cozenyo: you don;t?
*************: walk around with golf clubs
Ronan909: i do now
z3mk0: glow clubs
*************: and tee off
thegardencentre: peopel should weaer plus fours at raves
Ronan909: tee up on stage
Ronan909: plus 4s as in
Ronan909: turn up the pitch
thegardencentre: haha, i notice ed is being markedly silent!!!;-)
cozenyo: ian woosnam's so weird
Ronan909: you wave them at the dj
z3mk0: the big raver pants are already in effect!
z3mk0: kinda
*************: you use the clubs to adjust the lighting
Ronan909: people do wear golf visers
Ronan909: already
z3mk0: when i go raving i take a caddy
thegardencentre: there is a photo of me in a gold visor winging its way towards ilx
Ronan909: i have visions of homelands with 10000 people all in cheque trousers and sleeveless pringle sweaters
z3mk0: in a little buggy
thegardencentre: i need a new caddy
thegardencentre: my last one got uppity
z3mk0: and he hands me diff drugs and water and stuff
*************: david thomas from pere ubu/rftt uses his cane as a weapon... it's a little frightening
Ronan909: "i reckon you need to take the white mitsubishi this time zemko"
Ronan909: "the next hour could be tricky, have a pint"
thegardencentre: hah, this is a challenging rotterdam track, caddy hand me another half wrap of whizz, the bpm is realy high on this one
z3mk0: and waits patiently in the revving car while i dance in fornt of him
Ronan909: i fired my caddy after i passed out one time
Ronan909: he gave me a 7 iron when i needed some vodka
Ronan909: "a challenging rotterdam track"
*************: i'm going to open a club called "caddyshack"
thegardencentre: caddyshack is the best film ever!"
thegardencentre: apart from caddyshack 2

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 19 July 2003 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Tiger Woods should drink farm cider.

― Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 19 July 2003 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm not sure if i want to know whether ILx chat transcripts are real or not. ah, mystery.

i hit golf balls this week. i have more natural ability at it than most other things that involve hitting balls. fun. and v. satisfying when you actually get it up in the air and far away. though i usually don't get quite as much distance as others. dunno if that's a strength thing or a technique thing (or the stella i had?). not too much exercise if you're just driving, though.

(we never heard of Africa in America, btw. TS: chatty, bubbleheaded non-news v. snide content.)

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 19 July 2003 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

doesn't Tolkien say that one of Bilbo Baggins's ancestors was the inventor of golf?

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 19 July 2003 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

dud for land and water-use issues alone. have any of you been to Arizona? it's fucking horrifying.

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Saturday, 19 July 2003 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

as an AZ resident I can attest to that and then some

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 19 July 2003 16:20 (twenty-two years ago)

ten months pass...

wentworth.

I've started playing again recently too and my handicaps gone down from a 14 to about an 11/10 - played ardeer and carded an 84 (an unecessary 7 [!!!], and three unecessary 6s) but shoulda been a 79. that is playing to handicap I guess (it was 14) but I reckon markers would have given me the 7 and 6s as 5s (taking into account the rest of my card.)

I love golf.

soft hands!

― cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

talk about golf.

do you like it? do you play? are you watching wentworth? will you play golf with me?

― cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd love to play some golf! But I need to work on my 1) putting 2) short game and 3) long game. And by "work on" I mean "gain even minimal competency."

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I used to, I wasn't very good though. I will play when I'm older again. I like to watch golf obviously, and clearly I am a fan of it. I own 2 golf sweaters.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I need to work on my golf sweaters!

― cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 27 May 2004 16:06 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

having just vanquished my slice i must say super classic. as for it not being "strenuous" i sort of disagree.

― ryan (ryan), Sunday, 26 June 2005 03:38 (twenty years ago)

so fkn classic

let's play golf

― c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:54 (twenty years ago)

I would gladly play golf with all of you. I'm not very good. I had lessons when I was about 13.

― I'm bad and dirty and going to hell (nordicskilla), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:59 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 3215 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Fancying Scheffler rn..

― xyzzzz__, Sunday, 12 April 2026 19:58 (one month ago)

percolating nicely

― ||||||||, Sunday, 12 April 2026 19:59 (one month ago)

Lovely leaderboard tho obviously annoying Rory drifting away.

― LocalGarda, Sunday, 12 April 2026 20:00 (one month ago)

Would like Rose to win tbh

― LocalGarda, Sunday, 12 April 2026 20:07 (one month ago)

Rory's not dead yet

― Number None, Sunday, 12 April 2026 20:10 (one month ago)

Feel like the lead is gonna change a lot here. It's very spicy.

― LocalGarda, Sunday, 12 April 2026 20:14 (one month ago)

so many hitters so close to each other here. def turmoil incoming on this back 9

― ||||||||, Sunday, 12 April 2026 20:18 (one month ago)

Yeah it's so hard to get the head around! Who is going to win?

― LocalGarda, Sunday, 12 April 2026 20:28 (one month ago)

young’s luck seems to have run out

― ||||||||, Sunday, 12 April 2026 20:37 (one month ago)

This is madly entertaining but also my mind can't cope with the weird stasis.

― LocalGarda, Sunday, 12 April 2026 20:54 (one month ago)

scheffler should be forced to wear a fin imo

― Wichita Referee's Assistant (darraghmac), Sunday, 12 April 2026 21:04 (one month ago)

a wild morikawa appears

― ||||||||, Sunday, 12 April 2026 21:12 (one month ago)

Back to thinking Rory is going to do it. Ask me again in ten minutes.

― LocalGarda, Sunday, 12 April 2026 21:16 (one month ago)

wonderfully close

― nxd, Sunday, 12 April 2026 21:18 (one month ago)

what a shot from rose at 14

give us a 6 man playoff at -10

― ||||||||, Sunday, 12 April 2026 21:39 (one month ago)

diabolical birdie from scheff at 15

he’s lurking

― ||||||||, Sunday, 12 April 2026 21:43 (one month ago)

rory seems to have fully stabilised tho. ominous for the field

― ||||||||, Sunday, 12 April 2026 21:44 (one month ago)

Exactly the word I just used talking to friends, xpost.

― LocalGarda, Sunday, 12 April 2026 21:44 (one month ago)

omg lol that scheff birdie

― I will edit thread titles like no one has ever seen before (WmC), Sunday, 12 April 2026 21:45 (one month ago)

ouch

If you were curious what happened to Haotong Li, here's where he played his fifth shot on 13.

Went triple, quintuple bogey on 12 and 13 to drop from seven under to one over. pic.twitter.com/sFB00A7zim
— Sean Zak (@Sean_Zak) April 12, 2026

― ||||||||, Sunday, 12 April 2026 21:56 (one month ago)

"gentlemen let's make this interesting shall we?" mcilroy

― Wichita Referee's Assistant (darraghmac), Sunday, 12 April 2026 22:36 (one month ago)

Faldo's out of his tree

― Number None, Sunday, 12 April 2026 22:47 (one month ago)

Yes!

― xyzzzz__, Sunday, 12 April 2026 22:52 (one month ago)

Awesome

― frogbs, Sunday, 12 April 2026 22:55 (one month ago)

never doubted him

― Number None, Sunday, 12 April 2026 22:55 (one month ago)

he's such a mad bastard, pure emotion, danger leading to genius shot to shot. also what makes him likeable tho. delighted for him.

― LocalGarda, Sunday, 12 April 2026 23:03 (one month ago)

winning a bit much now. seems a bit ... idk british of him

― Wichita Referee's Assistant (darraghmac), Sunday, 12 April 2026 23:03 (one month ago)

happy for rory

― comrade jhøsh (k3vin k.), Sunday, 12 April 2026 23:19 (one month ago)

i have been watching the masters forever and can't recall any winner (or anyone) playing 18 like that lol

rory is a real one

― call all destroyer, Monday, 13 April 2026 02:53 (one month ago)

Super weird the cameras couldn’t find his or cams 2nd shots on 18. Horrible time to completely choke their coverage. Happy for Rory but man that Scottie chef put on 17 is playing back in my head over and over. Seems like it hit a lip at the very end and peeled off the hole. Brutal. A playoff between them would’ve been pretty special.

― You better go listen to lemonade and pray about it (Spottie), Monday, 13 April 2026 05:02 (one month ago)

Great leaderboard overall. All but Henley at least, who I personally just don’t like watching at all.

― You better go listen to lemonade and pray about it (Spottie), Monday, 13 April 2026 05:07 (one month ago)

I guess last year it took him a while to calm down from the emotions.

Wouldn't be surprising if Rory was to go through a solid run of major collections now. Nobody can really stop him when he gets going.

― xyzzzz__, Monday, 13 April 2026 09:26 (one month ago)

surely too much of a seat-of-his-pants player to have a thoroughly consistent run?

― the Don King of donking (Noodle Vague), Monday, 13 April 2026 10:58 (one month ago)

I feel like he could win a good few more even playing the mad way he plays.

― LocalGarda, Monday, 13 April 2026 10:59 (one month ago)

don't doubt he could but i feel like sporadically rather than ever becoming Tiger-level dominant

― the Don King of donking (Noodle Vague), Monday, 13 April 2026 11:01 (one month ago)

i think that's true. he's too emotional to emulate peak tiger. luckily there was no fallout for tiger from living that way.

― LocalGarda, Monday, 13 April 2026 11:43 (one month ago)

Lol

Don't think he'll ever get to 15 majors but was thinking maybe another 3-4 in the next few years.

― xyzzzz__, Monday, 13 April 2026 11:50 (one month ago)

ha i dont care about pro golf _at all_, dont know current players, only i saw a blazer award photo and went “damn. he’s a fuckin’ shrimp- how long does he hit it?”

― strictly hard music (Hunt3r), Monday, 13 April 2026 15:10 (one month ago)

surprisingly far!

― comrade jhøsh (k3vin k.), Monday, 13 April 2026 15:50 (one month ago)

LIV DED

― symsymsym, Wednesday, 15 April 2026 23:23 (one month ago)

seems big. hopefully pga bans phil 4 life

― You better go listen to lemonade and pray about it (Spottie), Wednesday, 15 April 2026 23:36 (one month ago)

Lol this is awesome. Wonder if the war on Iran have anything to do with it.

It appears from the report the Saudis just got bored?

― xyzzzz__, Thursday, 16 April 2026 08:47 (one month ago)

Really think the place is cooked tbh.

― xyzzzz__, Thursday, 16 April 2026 08:48 (one month ago)

four weeks pass...

lolchambeau

― You better go listen to lemonade and pray about it (Spottie), Friday, 15 May 2026 19:43 (three weeks ago)

i like this leaderboard

― You better go listen to lemonade and pray about it (Spottie), Friday, 15 May 2026 19:43 (three weeks ago)

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