Blue Saturday

also weren't Quickspace more LJ-Prog than indie trundlers?

def over to the Stereolab/post-rock end of the axis yes, indie in the fanzines and badges and 7"s sense rather than... whatever it means now

I am not v good with shifting genre goalposts, I spent the eurotrance explosion of the mid/late 90s wondering what had happened to the Trance Europe Express vibe (nothing much, it just got reclassified into other genres)

I think maybe I've been so frightened of feelings I've spent my life lotus-eating to try and avoid them

If only our brothers from West Punjab realize that their heroes are not these plunderers but their own ancestors who faced up to these "Jehadi" conquerors known in Islamic terms as "Gazis". Here are some of the brave Punjabi ancestors who gave befitting response to the ambitions of invaders:

Raja Porus - the Khatri king of West Punjab who almost defeated Alexender the Great and forced Greeks in to retreat out of Punjab.
Jasrat Khokhar - the chief of the Khokhar Rajput clan from West Punjab who led the reply to the Turkic Barbarian Tamerlane.
Raja Jaypala - Ruler of Janjua rajput clan from Lahore who responded to the plundering invasions of Gazanvi and committed suicide after losing in battle.
Raja Anangpal - Son of Jayapala and Janjua king of Punjab who fought all his life against numerous incursions by Gaznavi, and died at the battle of Sirhind
Prithviraj Chauhan - Rajput ruler of Bhatinda who defeated Ghori six times but lost the seventh battle
Dulla Bhatti - Legendary warrior of Bhatti Rajput clan fom Sandal-Bar who fought against the Mughals of Lahore.
Sardar Jassa Singh Ahluwalia - Leader of Sikh Misls who rescued 20,000 Punjabi women from Abdali's goons.
Maharaja Ranjit Singh - Sikh Emperor of Punjab who ended the series of invasion of Punjab forever and ruled Lahore on behalf of all Punjabis.
Sardar Hari Singh Nalwa - Sikh warrior of Uppal Khatri clan who plugged the Khyber pass where all invasions of Punjab occurred
Sham Singh Atariwale - who fought till death at the battle of Sabhraon against the treacherous East India Company.

you can't go because who comes in and finds you
you can't go because you feel for who finds you
you can't go
i can see my friends but not who they were when somebody found them
blue bloated
can't go because who finds me but i can't stay h-h-h-h-ere

achers of grey spotty flesch

parents/gparents not doing well and my coping skills vanish. so it's fireball and nikki sudden round these parts tonight.

leaving god alone

friday night (u.s. blue saturday) is now apparently the night when gloom descends on me and i fritter the hours away being anxious about being of no use or interest to anyone

i would rather write

i appear to have been conducting a scientific experiment to prove i can't afford to drink myself to death

i really like you guys, i don't wish the blues on youse, i shd try and apply the same logic to myself

we wish the opposite of the blues on you

The world makes so little sense that it only makes sense to make no sense right along with it

hey nv love how you keep the ilxpidistra flying on saturday mornings

just checking to see how the barometer's reading

i could do with irresponsible money but today feels quite good; have got thru the back to work terrors and now its a long weekend and if only i could afford to spend it in the pub watching sport all would be good, but not being in the pub is probably the better idea really

even tho i bought and lost a lottery ticket which really is like fate giving you the two fingers

aw haha

not being in the pub, streaming sport imo

also, am considering doing some (long-overdue) gardening* with tt tomorrow - you got a plot or anything to poddle around in?

*the other option is buying a cheap badminton set and playing buddleia badminton

nah i literally have a 1 yard wide strip of decking leading to the back gate

i'm a v lazy gardener so not complaining

mid terrace, c. 1900s i'd guess

it's gone v overcast already

i'm hoping it pisses down tbh, could do with my cricket match cancelled so i can watch us lose to bolton

i'm a non-gardener too and i love the frenzied naturalisation of our garden, but unfortunately my landlord's flat inspector doesn't

i know, my last place had obviously been unoccupied for a few months, i spent half my time there fighting a frenzied guerilla war with nettles in the front patch

it's the forget-me-nots that surprise me. they're like locusts

k i think the pissing down has begun here

i got one kid at Leeds Festival and one in a caravan in Whitley Bay and here i am watching it piss down thru the back window on the last bank holiday of the summer

idk, stick the cricket on :)

also i'm planning on making my own julian cope best-of at some point in the next few days, maybe you could do a similar project with some decent musician

spurs pool in half an hour too

it's the Challenge Cup final this afty! really would be best enjoyed in the pub, especially if there's a few Rovers fans in looking for a piss-take. if i stop at home it'll have to be Hudds-Wolves and hope i can find a less crappy stream than last week

i spend inordinate amounts of time cobbling together overlong playlists but usually on a "these things sound good together" basis

meanwhile David Byrne tries to get in on the action

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3TsChDHTQM

challenge cup is the biggest game in uk domestic RL, right

yeah, the FA Cup when the FA Cup was still the most important match of the season

stayed at home, WORTH IT

http://imgur.com/X8sqWLQ
http://imgur.com/aQ74JhX
I need to get my life in order...

Also need to learn how to post pictures, fuck it, not important.

Oh, is it like this?
http://i.imgur.com/X8sqWLQ.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/aQ74JhX.jpg

Vodka ran out like this minute, let's see how this night goes...

http://i.imgur.com/sfMv2j3.jpg

i've got it just about reined in at the moment but god knows how people who are sober all the time live

alls i want to do is pub pub pub

idk what even i want to do tbh. not a single screaming alternative so much as the car outside inviting me to hop in and drive and be anywhere else but work come tomorrow at 9am

that's the feeling

Pubbin' it up

cant's unsee that coffee table

or is it a mixed media collage entitled DEPRESSION #1

I'm curious about the compasses.

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Angry dog barking outside. Should've been asleep hours ago. Everybody loves me at a distance. Car idles. Door. Away.

i've got it just about reined in at the moment but god knows how people who are sober all the time live

Not had a drink for a month now, today is the first hard day ... even though was never a daytime drinker I would love a bottle of wine right now.
On the plus side it is the middle of the month and we haven't run out of money which is an unusual but pleasant feeling.

Yeah there's the rub, think I might've been a millionaire if not for alco-wastrelsy.

Sometimes I worry that every kind word I offer and every bit of helpfulness and workplace chirpiness and friendly customer service is just some hollow extended schmooze in a dead-souled quest for ingratiation and approval

Or alternatively, I don't really believe people when they say nice things about me. Like I really pathologically don't believe them.

i've.. started working with an aa sponser.. just a couple meetings. it just doesn't feel right, though. i don't have the obsessive cravings for booze, i just have a tendency to reach for it when bad shit happens. i don't really enjoy it anymore, anyhow, it interferes with my medication and just makes me feel lousy. this all sounds like rationalization but i mean, instinctively the whole thing just doesn't feel right at all.

and i'm just really hesitant to take the crap in this big book seriously, it feels like i'm turning my critical thinking off. it doesn't really describe me that much, except in a horoscope-y way that's more attributable to my lack of self esteem than anything booze related. one "case study" about a guy who had some bad drinking episodes, didn't drink for 50 years and then "succumbed" to alcoholism and died 5 days later... i mean, i don't know what to do with that. seems like it could happen to anybody.

Yeah I have big issues with 12 step and it's not the higher power stuff that bothers me, it's the reductiveness of alcoholism as a theory. And in my case too maybe that's partly avoidant but there's bad drinking decisions and positive drinking experiences in life, I find it easier and more helpful to try a case by case approach to drinks - even if I call it wrong more often than not.