mayo: the devil's condiment

not me, it's all bad xp

to be fair, I have attempted, in the privacy of my home, to try some mayo. like, mayo lovers say it is nice on a BLT. I'm not about to pay somebody to put mayonnaise on a BLT at a restaurant (plus I'm eating veggie B, so I'm probably not ordering the BLT if I'm eating out), but I'm willing to give it a shot at home -- if there's mayonnaise (mrs. joanie is not as anti-mayo as I am; also once a friend in the entertainment biz had a line of artisan mayo made w/his name on it & sent me a jar) then maybe on an idle saturday I'll try again. but somehow, every time, I end up saying, who are these horrible people, these ocean-floor-grazing marine creatures, these horrible folks who would eat this trash on purpose? this horror, this mayonnaise? because it is garbage. it turns your sandwich into garbage. it turns your fries into garbage. mayonnaise...the garbage-maker

mrs joanie generally objects, but in her heart she's got to know I'm right

Tonight, we had elotes. With mayonnaise.

NO. TAMAZULA AND LEMON IS THE CORRECT ELOTES. WHY MUST YOU PERPETUATE THE MAYONESA MYTH

Hear me hear me! ... Stop eating Mayo! Stop eating the new fiesta mayo salad. Stop taking advantage of the money-saving 12-pack... Stop enjoying mayo on the patio, in the car, or on the boat. Wherever good times are had!

a lil' mayo never hurt anyone, but too many people don't know how to stop. just stop. maybe we need mayo limiters on our methods of distribution.

theres only one mayo

and its called kewpie

reasonable

what is nutella but hazlenut mayonnaise?

something i have noticed is people who are anti-mayo - on the record, against the slop - enjoying mayo variants - spicy mayos; garlic mayos - in certain public situations, in sports bars and hotels, over brunches & shared lunches. hard not to wonder whether mayo will eventually seem to have occupied the same position as other private pleasures, denied in polite society but feasted on at home, cf mayo-aided anal sex as mentioned above

― schlump, Wednesday, June 22, 2016 11:00 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i said something to this effect many years ago itt but the thing about mayo is it has such a strong and viscerally repugnant taste and texture but it ends up being really weak when put up against literally anything else. like as soon as something with a slightly different taste and texture is mixed with it, it becomes a completely different thing. it's a great ingredient! like flour, another thing i would never eat on its own

so yes, if i were hypothetically alone in my home with a sandwich in my hands, buck naked and crying which is how i always eat in privacy, and i bite into it to find a slimy presence of surprise hellman's on the roof of my horrible mouth, i would chuck it out the window. and then i would go into the kitchen and take some store bought mayo and mix it with some other stuff and eat it straight because it's completely stopped being mayo at that point

i generally avoid sauces that have "mayo" literally in the name but the times i have had "spicy mayo" or "garlic mayo" the "mayo" taste wasn't there

What about tartare sauce? its basically mayo with bits in.

usually has enough lemon juice to fix the consistency and i've never had a problem with the taste, but it can be cut close

i've had crappy tartar sauce but never like bottled kraft tartar sauce so maybe it can get gruesome

But re: mayo, what the hell else do you suggest to stick the lettuce to the top bun of your burger/sandwich?

― show me new tweets (suzy), Wednesday, June 11, 2014 11:04 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

still have nightmares about this sentence

people itt mixing up bootleg mayos in their bathtubs

"bootleg mayos"

"mayo with bits in"

mayo might not be something you'd want to eat on its own, but just think of all the delicious recipes that depend on it:

https://georgianrecipes.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/eggplant-with-mayonnaise-ready-for-serving-1.jpg

http://www.ilovefood.com.mt/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/DSCF1984.jpg

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/xhwcoqdy9zQ/maxresdefault.jpg

http://goo.gl/oVusoH

https://goo.gl/tJY07k

goo otm

I ordered the tomato pie at a place that was supposed to be a shining example of new gussied up southern cuisine, except it was really short on tomatoes and wound up being a serving of mayonnaise pie. First (and only) time mayo had ever really grossed me out.

have i shared this recipe here before? i have used it many, many times.

http://dinersjournal.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/09/14/food-processor-mayonnaise/

what is nutella but hazlenut mayonnaise?

thank you for the impending nightmares

seriously that is a bullshit thing to say. you take that back, nutella does not deserve that kind of treatment

indeed, mayo is a classy french food, while nutella is half a dunkaroos.

I may eat nutella on my fries this weekend

I am not proud that I have to do this but we have been friends a long time and you know as well as I do that I have to do this:

nut...on my fries

that's next weekend

I'm allergic to hazelnuts so Nutella is basically poison to me, whereas mayo is good on fries, sorry folks.

I still remember the first time I saw my dad dip his Wendy's fries into a Wendy's frosty

and that is why I committed these crimes, Judge.

place near me offered soft serve as a fry dip and it was great tbh

I haven't done that since I was 9 or so, but I'm pretty sure it was the best.

fries into shake is classic

Bacon works so well with bacon, hence the BLT. The saltiness with the creaminess. Miss it so much - just about 6 months without meat now.

Bacon works so well with bacon

I can be down with this

I would blame that on the phone, but it's clearly just idiocy. Bacon with mayo. You see what the lack of meat has done to me?

a kind of godwin's law for ilx, where the inevitable baconization of threads is encoded as a rule

I'm so happy you mayo-haters all have one another to talk to and cheer on. We who find mayo entirely acceptable need no cheering sections to convince us we are right.

http://domnit.org/mdl/

Welcome…

…to the Mayonnaise Defense League, an organization of individuals dedicating to protecting this wonderful condiment from defamation and disparagement.

Who is the MDL? We are your neighbor, your co-worker, your aunt, your grandpappy. MDL is everywhere, and we do not appreciate it when you call mayo gross or disgusting. MDL local chapters meet bi-weekly around the world.

lol of course aimless likes mayo

aimless is the mayonnaise of ilx

daaaaaaamn

mayonnaise is just one tiny part of a universe of edible and sometimes attractive foods and condiments I consume. my life in no way revolves around it. otoh, mayo-hatred seems to be very, uh, highly motivating to a small segment of ilxors.

my life more or less revolves around mayo. no shame in my game.

I won't say I'm a mayonist, but I'm mayo-friendly.

aimless is the mayonnaise of ilx

Rude!

yet creamy

And good with turkeys.

otoh, mayo-hatred seems to be very, uh, highly motivating to a small segment of ilxors.

look if yall were smearing rheum on your toast and saying how delightful it was I think there'd be a number of people who felt motivated to say "fuckin', no"

I used to call it semennaise but stopped because I don't want to associate something lovely with the gunge that is the devil's condiment