mayo: the devil's condiment

well, blue cheese dressing is typically made with mayonnaise. can't imagine the hot sauce version being a big improvement.

but i'd say the same for tuna & egg salad, so what do i know?

can't imagine a mayo scenario that would not be improved by substituting with nothing

http://media.cmgdigital.com/shared/lt/lt_cache/thumbnail/600/img/photos/2012/08/11/69/b1/kessler_1108_01_296158a.JPG

ILX taate testers

hot sauce is life but it's not a substitute for mayo!

i must have mayo AND mustard on a hamburger. this is weird b/c it's usually either/or. no ketchup obv.

i must have mayo on blt.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/fa/39/5f/fa395f361fbc04293e9fb24e5749b5fd.jpg

our parents were disgusting

what the hell

https://lovelace-media.imgix.net/uploads/926/d85e2fc0-f75a-0132-f13f-0ed54733f8f5.JPG?

omigod I'm gonna throw up at my desk

good work, bizarro, we'll have these mayo-loving commie sons of bitches recanting in no time

you don't truly know what mayo is until you've felt it squelch between yr toes

Good sex sounds just like macaroni and cheese being stirred <-- needs mayo

Does Mayonnaise make a good substitute for anal lubricant?

My husband and I ran out of lubricant last week and he is coming home from a business trip and i want to surprise him with some anal delight could mayonnaise suffice as a substitute?

i guess this would make her butthole a literal salad

first there was egg salad

then, we had potato salad

someone moved on to ham salad

but we didn't know true horror until we got to... butthole salad

usually they take the mayo out after the anal delight and put it on top of stuff it is called "thousand island"

German butthole salad uses vinegar instead of mayo

german butthole salad usually served on a poop shelf iirc

with a urine spritzer

i'm more horrified by "anal delight" than anything merely mayo

skyrockets in flight
surprise anal delight

gotta hand it to this thread, when it went for the mayonnaise/anal connection, it went all in

I am pretty sure everyone has already imagined the smell of adding mayo to anal delight but... imagine the smell

Diving Into the Wreck: Summer Gay Thread 2016

https://www.stlmag.com/downloads/197805/download/bugs1.jpg?cb=27965ec46fc35b4f55ebeb3670805017

hellman's bottles and best foods jars
ikea lamp, you're in my way
anal delight happ'ning tonight
Look what's going on inside you
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of mayo butthole

https://cassandraparkin.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/angel-delight.jpg

hungry4assmayo

xxp: why ikea lamp?

Imagined person posting question inside. Ikea lamps are the mighty oaks of the inside.

I just read the answers to the anal delight question and all I have to say is "damn, Kevin"

Do NOT diss buttersctoch Angel Delight. It is the BEST food EVER.

Also I think we established that American mayo is to British mayo as American chocolate is to British chocolate, ie a hellish re-imagining by the behemoth corporate food industry that sucks all the goodness out of it.

no, it's still oil, egg yolk, and an acid that was proposed as a chili condiment

Everyone gets their own "resulting paste"; in Scik's case that paste is chili with mayo in it

I never put the mayo IN the chili.

What are you talking about? Do you have a separate bowl of mayo that you alternate eating or something?

iirc there was something about dipping a fork (?) in mayo

Thank you.

something i have noticed is people who are anti-mayo - on the record, against the slop - enjoying mayo variants - spicy mayos; garlic mayos - in certain public situations, in sports bars and hotels, over brunches & shared lunches. hard not to wonder whether mayo will eventually seem to have occupied the same position as other private pleasures, denied in polite society but feasted on at home, cf mayo-aided anal sex as mentioned above

I am so angry at "feasted" in that sentence

not me, it's all bad xp

to be fair, I have attempted, in the privacy of my home, to try some mayo. like, mayo lovers say it is nice on a BLT. I'm not about to pay somebody to put mayonnaise on a BLT at a restaurant (plus I'm eating veggie B, so I'm probably not ordering the BLT if I'm eating out), but I'm willing to give it a shot at home -- if there's mayonnaise (mrs. joanie is not as anti-mayo as I am; also once a friend in the entertainment biz had a line of artisan mayo made w/his name on it & sent me a jar) then maybe on an idle saturday I'll try again. but somehow, every time, I end up saying, who are these horrible people, these ocean-floor-grazing marine creatures, these horrible folks who would eat this trash on purpose? this horror, this mayonnaise? because it is garbage. it turns your sandwich into garbage. it turns your fries into garbage. mayonnaise...the garbage-maker

mrs joanie generally objects, but in her heart she's got to know I'm right

Tonight, we had elotes. With mayonnaise.

NO. TAMAZULA AND LEMON IS THE CORRECT ELOTES. WHY MUST YOU PERPETUATE THE MAYONESA MYTH

Hear me hear me! ... Stop eating Mayo! Stop eating the new fiesta mayo salad. Stop taking advantage of the money-saving 12-pack... Stop enjoying mayo on the patio, in the car, or on the boat. Wherever good times are had!

a lil' mayo never hurt anyone, but too many people don't know how to stop. just stop. maybe we need mayo limiters on our methods of distribution.

theres only one mayo

and its called kewpie

reasonable

what is nutella but hazlenut mayonnaise?

something i have noticed is people who are anti-mayo - on the record, against the slop - enjoying mayo variants - spicy mayos; garlic mayos - in certain public situations, in sports bars and hotels, over brunches & shared lunches. hard not to wonder whether mayo will eventually seem to have occupied the same position as other private pleasures, denied in polite society but feasted on at home, cf mayo-aided anal sex as mentioned above

― schlump, Wednesday, June 22, 2016 11:00 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i said something to this effect many years ago itt but the thing about mayo is it has such a strong and viscerally repugnant taste and texture but it ends up being really weak when put up against literally anything else. like as soon as something with a slightly different taste and texture is mixed with it, it becomes a completely different thing. it's a great ingredient! like flour, another thing i would never eat on its own

so yes, if i were hypothetically alone in my home with a sandwich in my hands, buck naked and crying which is how i always eat in privacy, and i bite into it to find a slimy presence of surprise hellman's on the roof of my horrible mouth, i would chuck it out the window. and then i would go into the kitchen and take some store bought mayo and mix it with some other stuff and eat it straight because it's completely stopped being mayo at that point

i generally avoid sauces that have "mayo" literally in the name but the times i have had "spicy mayo" or "garlic mayo" the "mayo" taste wasn't there