VegemiteGrrl's Home for the Absent-Minded

The last couple of nights, I've wanted to adjust the temperature of the shower and forgotten which way to turn the cold water knob. I've lived in this apartment for 18 months.

oh boy, a couple weeks of vacation had some moments of complete mental dislocation

I ordered a drink a week ago, got a canadian dollar coin in change, and went to drop it in a tip jar. I dropped it directly in my drink, which was in front of me, a foot left of the tip jar

I tried to pick up a breakfast pastry at the airport and managed to completely fumble it and drop it across the front of my shirt

immediately forgot names after learning them, along with basic vocabulary words

mumbled "durrrr" into one of those phone menu trees

Why is my bag so heavy?

Oh, those tins of soup I bought yesterday, I forgot to remove them and have been carrying them around all day, to work and back, to that gig the other side of London...

ok lol

But what if you got munchy?

When I'm not well I have a habit of talking to inanimate objects - not in a complicated sense, by I end up thanking ATMs and microwaves and trains etc. Not sure if that counts as absent minded - I don't mean to do it, it just happens.

I can't be the only person who does this but whenever it's my birthday and people say "happy birthday" to me, I sometimes repeat it back to them or have to stop myself from doing it, like you would with "merry Christmas" or "happy New year"

Oh I def. do that - made worse by my birthday being 2nd of January.

Yeah, I say 'happy birthday' back quite frequently. (Once a year, even)

I've recently taken to dialling phone numbers in the calculator setting of my mobile - which is admittedly not as worrying as dialling phone numbers in an actual calculator but still...

omg that is a good one

haha
I got on the train today with toddler and backpack full of snacks, nappies, keys. Unfortunately my wallet was still at home in my work bag. Nice ticket lady let me off for both journeys.

making myself a nice cup of coffee (in the microwave). with lemon squash instead of milk...

D:

Lost my credit card, cancelled it, found it six hours later inside a packet of Strepsils in my bathroom closet.

It's like a magic trick, for an audience of none.

IRLLOL

That reminds me of a relative who lost their front door keys, then drove to the hardware store, bought new locks, fitted them, then drove to the locksmith to get copies of the new keys for everyone who was in the house. Relative then said something like "ah that's finally sorted out", and then put their hands in their jacket pockets only to find... the 'lost' keys.

i once cancelled all my cards after losing my wallet only to find it inside a pocket *in my fucking purse*

you have all of my sympathy

Today one of my colleagues had a forty years of service anniversary, 60+ people gathered to celebrate her.

Within 10 minutes, I somehow managed to drop a glass bottle of juice I was examining, it fell on to my plate and broke with a bang, glass all over the tablecloth

;_;

Fortunately, laughter abounded.

I lost my bank card because I failed to realise there was an inside pocket on both sides of the jacket I'd had for ~5yrs. There was all sorts of stuff in there - train tickets, a packet of rizla, a phone number. Clearly the part of my brain that puts things away was aware of this pocket but the retrieving part of my brain wasn't. Don't let your left hand know etc.

that's really weird. wondering now whether I do this.

oh god, i had a jacket where i did not realize the pocket had separated from the lining at the top and i lost several things inside the jacket until i realized it

Don't let your left hand know etc.

I had a brilliant moment yesterday. I'm in line at the concession at the movies and suddenly realize that I can't feel my wallet in my right jacket pocket. I check for it with my right hand and, sure enough, it's not there. Only a few seconds later do I realize that that's because it's already in my left hand.

I've started looking for my glasses only to wonder why I'm seeing my nightstand so clearly

oh god, i had a jacket where i did not realize the pocket had separated from the lining at the top and i lost several things inside the jacket until i realized it

― mh 😏, Sunday, January 15, 2017 6:41 PM (three weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I had a coat that I didn't wear very often, it was long but light - one day I decided to wear it to cycle into work. When I got off and locked the bike, I put my keys in the inside chest pocket, not realising that there was no lining on the bottom of the pocket - or on the bottom of the coat. And so I basically threw my keys in the gutter and strode happily away.

It turns out that it's really difficult to get the local council to take a lock off, even when it gets to "The bike is long-ruined, I'm just saying you could free up a bike rack".

I once lost my keys with those jacket pockets designed with small holes in them. Why on earth are they made like that? They look like they're made to hold a handgun but have the tip of the gun dangling out your jacket.

I leave my cuff links behind in the gym change room approximately once a month - most recently last night. I've tried so hard to make a habit out of putting them in the coin purse of my wallet but somehow I keep forgetting to do so every once in a while. Thankfully they always turn up as someone hands them in but I'm sure my luck will run out soon

Only realised after copying jeans jackets that the construction leaves a hole at the side of the bottom of the inside pocket. So loose small objects can slide out.

so I basically threw my keys in the gutter and strode happily away.
I did this a while back on a trip to Sydney for work. bought train ticket from airport to Central, then strode off stuffing it into what I thought was an outside bag pocket but was just a strap, so it fell in the ground. which I didn't realize til I got to the exit and had no ticket.

astonishingly the gate lady just waved me through. in Melbourne I'dve been hog tied and fined.

Getting out of hand at my job. At least once or twice a day I can't find a worksheet or some student work I've put down somewhere, followed by five minutes of me wandering around the room like in a trance looking for it. Luckily I've got 3/4 this year--anything older and they'd be banding together and contacting outside agencies for help.

I need backup backup glasses.

How many pairs can you hold pushed up on your forehead or hanging on a chain around your neck?

Three. Don't ask me how I know this.

A few weeks back I had a complete brainfart, and called a skull a "skeleton head". I wasnt even trying to be funny.

No one in my household will let me live it down, now :|

imo that is a fine nomenclature

Thanking u, I agree!

I also behind* skeleton head

I've started looking for my glasses only to wonder why I'm seeing my nightstand so clearly

This sounds familiar also.

*well, technically inside

Just had a mini meltdown trying to get my head around the spelling of the word "answer"

Yeah, 'leisure' had the same effect on me earlier in the week - partly because my fingers misspelt it and my brain couldn't figure out which bits to rearrange.

Worst mental space to inhabit, that zone where you've broken past the line of recognising the shape of the word and are into the quantum zone of atomic letters

I've been forgetting names all week - colleagues, students, famous people. if this is early Alzheimer's then cheers guys, it's been a blast.

Well it hasn't. But we'll be kind and tell you that it was.

you sound like you've had post-holiday blues all week

More to do with being back in the specific location as 77 reffed tbh but it's lifting

yeah soz I read that afterwards

I poured a tin of soup into a microwavable plastic jug, then set the microwave running for one minute. I came back when the buzzer went off, only to find that the jug of soup was still on the counter and the microwave was empty.

at least you didnt put the metal item in the mickiowake!

Last week i forgot a dentist appointment, lost my work locker key and then deleted a day and a half's work by mistake all in the space of two days.

oh no :(

Anybody ever get that thing where you very nearly say something ridiculous by accident and wished you hadn't corrected yourself at the last second before it comes out your mouth?

I asked my dad if it was raining outside but nearly said "is it sad out there?"