EXCELSIOR is the second solo album by British musician LOLZ Coombes.

You mess with the Beatles, you get the Wings

― Dan I., Saturday, 28 May 2016 19:04 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Trump IS Noah Cross

― kevin smith what a bro (Myonga Vön Bontee), Tuesday, May 31, 2016 3:54 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well he def wants to bang his daughter

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, May 31, 2016 3:54 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Jojen was a greenseer, but I don't think he could warg.

― Jenny Ondioleeene (Leee), Wednesday, June 1, 2016 4:59 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark

this was a good song

― 龜, Wednesday, June 1, 2016 5:06 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Original Get Back lyrics or KLF outtake, iirc.

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, June 1, 2016 5:08 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CjvOrbUWkAAr5oi.jpg:large

― reader, if you love him so much why don't you marry him? (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, June 1, 2016

(from the Guardian thread, right after soref posted "trying to find a cartoon of Harambe and Cecil the Lion chilling together in heaven, but I'm not coming up with anything.")

can't take any credit for it ftr, was seen on twitter

that is wonderful

1 RT = 1 prayer

Does god recognize this as a valid transaction, y/n

Once I ordered a pizza with black olives, got broccoli
damn my accent

― kinder, Thursday, June 2, 2016 4:52 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I happened across the name of the judge in the Tunnel Drunk case, and a quick google search confirmed my suspicion - Gonzalo Curiel is a cousin of former Clinton White House speechwriter Carolyn Curiel.

― normcore strengthening exercises (benbbag), Friday, June 3, 2016 5:46 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ok deep throat

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Friday, June 3, 2016 6:01 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I still can't believe that elmo outpolled ernie among grown up ilxors.

― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Saturday, June 4, 2016 3:59 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

typical erniebro unable to accept reality

― mario vargis loosa (wins), Saturday, June 4, 2016 4:03 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ha

Hahaha

pretty good

it's not like trump is going to get less insane over the next several months; I worried about that but he's given no indication he's capable of sticking to a rational script.

― akm

The churl can't help it

― Οὖτις

Spicy corn in a cup is a thing in South Asian neighbourhoods in London and it's only about a pound or £1.50 per serving.
― jedi slimane (suzy), Monday, 6 June 2016 20:42 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

2 spices 1 cup
― STOP KILLING ANIMALS, THEY'RE MINT (DJP), Monday, 6 June 2016 20:44 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what

the juices from the head of the prawn are amazing! certain types of frying make it p easy to eat more of the prawn in its entirety. in spain you see people sucking the shrimp head p much everywhere.

― japanese mage (LocalGarda), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:13 AM

glad dan is presumably in bed as i posted that.

― japanese mage (LocalGarda), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:14 AM

lol

don't know if this is exactly an excelsior but it deserves to be memorialized somewhere:

-----------

Whenever I'm in Bushwick I never know exactly where I am because I don't know the relative positioning of the many subway stations. So to help myself figure it out I've created a mnemonic system. Here's how it goes:

First I imagine a cranky old man whose wife Lori is in charge of his breakfast. "Lori" stands for the two Lorimer stations, from which these journeys proceed.

For the J Train I think of "Lori, Fix My Korean Ginseng Hot," which corresponds to the stops Lorimer, Flushing, Myrtle, Kosciuszko, Gates, and Halsey.

For the M Train it's "Lori, Fix My ChicKen & Waffles," which corresponds to the stops Lorimer, Flushing, Myrtle, Central, Knickerbocker, and (Myrtle-) Wyckoff. Of course here I have to remember that Chicken is two stops.

For the L Train it's "Lori, Go Get Me More Jelly Donuts & Milk," which corresponds to the stops Lorimer, Graham, Grand, Montrose, Morgan, Jefferson, Dekalb, and Myrtle (-Wyckoff). It helps that More=Morgan, not Montrose.

Keeping in mind that Myrtle and Wyckoff - Milk and Waffles - are the same station, I think of how you need Milk to make Waffle batter.

So now if I'm visiting a friend in Bushwick I place them geographically by thinking like, "oh, she lives between More and Jelly," for example.

― Josefa, Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:39 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

Nice!

I don't want to change my dn rn but I rly need someone to snatch "Of course here I have to remember that Chicken is two stops."

WU TANG CLAN - DAVID BYRNE - NILE RODGERS
        (BACKED BY THE ROOTS)

― de l'asshole (flopson), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 11:49 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i mean, that sounds totally fine, assuming The Roots backs those 3 people in different songs and not all at once

― Dierks Bentley's Holistic Detective Agency (some dude), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 12:23 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i certainly fucking hope so!

― De La Soul is no Major Lazer (ulysses), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:11 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"you may find yourself"

wikky wikky wikky

"Back to the motherfuckin' spot on Lexington"

wikky wikky wikky

"you may find yourself"

wikky wikky wikky

"in ya college ass disco dorm"

"GOOD TIMES!"

― rockpalast '82 (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:38 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

then it's decided, flopson's imagination will not be allowed to organize the roots picnic

― Dierks Bentley's Holistic Detective Agency (some dude), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:41 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahaha

"you must become no one" is p much what they tell you at acting school.

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Thursday, June 9, 2016 11:10 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"a man must be unemployed"

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Thursday, June 9, 2016 11:11 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Hey, if I'd kept up acting I figure is have a 50/50 shot of being in GoTs

(From "Is Donald Trump a Fascist?")

this is how nazi germany sharted

― hunangarage, Wednesday, 15 June 2016 04:21 (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah

Kinda inside baseball but:

okay so 4 min into the God of War gameplay demo and why is Kratos leaving his kid defenseless by hanging onto his bow while demon things jump out of the woods at them? also, why aren't the demon things attacking the defenseless kid?

― volumetric god rays (DJP), Tuesday, June 14, 2016 2:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

[...]

mash triangle rapidly to momentarily interact with your son without being a shithead about it

― Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Tuesday, June 14, 2016 3:15 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

[...]

"When you pressing x, son?" "I don't know when
But we'll get together then, dad, We're gonna have a quick time event"

― am0n, Tuesday, June 14, 2016 3:33 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

XD

What are the chances of West Ham selling Payet for £50m during the tournament and Bilic finding out live on air?

― Matt DC, Wednesday, June 15, 2016 10:18 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I've had s similar thought but if we're gonna start critiquing each others content well

― The Brexit Club (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, June 15, 2016 10:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Xp

― The Brexit Club (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, June 15, 2016 10:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Now would be a really good time for that "Hitler eating a watermelon" animated gif.
― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:30 (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:58 (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You know, I've seen that thing at least six million times, and it's still funny.
― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 10 March 2006 17:44 (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"six million" huh
― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 10 March 2006 17:45 (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Haha.

hahaha

lol

from the facebook groups thread...

counterpoint: my car battery died, I posted to my neighborhood dads group to see if anyone had jumper cables, and a random dad showed up within minutes.

― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Monday, June 20, 2016 9:03 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

FB DAD: Don't worry about it. No charge.

MAN ALIVE: No charge? Then why did you even come over here?

*FACEBOOK DADS HI-FIVE, ASCEND INTO THE THE HEAVENS.*

― pplains, Monday, June 20, 2016 9:43 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

love to throw mayonnaise into the garbage and then throw some aoili in afterwards and then stand in the middle of the kitchen screaming LET THEM KILL EACH OTHER

The bald Phil Collins impersonator cash grab (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi) wrote this at 2016-06-21 19:00:51.000

If they have to be explained they aren't funny, but they might be witty.
not sure this is an ironclad dictum, suppose it depends if you can conceive of something that is funny but that man alive doesn't get

― oh, amazonaws (wins), Wednesday, June 22, 2016 1:08 PM (56 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sex?

― de l'asshole (flopson), Wednesday, June 22, 2016 1:12 PM (52 minutes ago)

Haha. Like it.

idgi

You see it ain't no joke, just a natural fact, all right, all right

Well, I laffed. Out loud, even.

Based on my offspring, who do resemble me, it seems likely that I have had sex at least twice.

Not necessarily.

the old offsprung durch technique

Well I said likely.

Seems an expensive alternative but then idk what yr bedposts are made of

I really don't know why I bother pointing this out, but Jon Snow and Sansa arrived at Winterfell from the Northwest, while Littlefinger's troops arrived from the Southeast, so why would they just happen upon the base camp without knowing there was a battle going on, or why would they not have scouts out, or...

Oh, never mind. D-40, it's okay. You can think it's the most brilliantest written show on tv, you can have that opinion. I will continue to disagree.

― Frederik B, Wednesday, June 22, 2016

How do you figure that their troops attacked from those directions? I think I need to rewatch that scene. I know Jon's troops were coming from the treeline on the north or west but that's about it.

― reggae mike love (polyphonic), Wednesday, June 22, 2016

pretty sure those troops arrived from craft service

― Salsa Golf (Argentinean Ketchup) (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, June 22, 2016