EXCELSIOR is the second solo album by British musician LOLZ Coombes.

why start now

WOULD SOMEONE USE THIS THREAD TO REPOST A FUNNY PLEASE

― El Tomboto, Tuesday, May 24, 2016 9:46 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

why start now

― Mordy, Tuesday, May 24, 2016 9:51 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

LJ gatekeeping the lols thread is like having a man with no legs judge a keepy-uppy tournament, no offence LJ but come one.

come one. Or come one, it's your choice.

lj just embrace it and start reposting random interchanges from that thread imo

lj's gatekeeping isn't even that good, please keep it out of this thread

Come one come all

Much editing but genuine techno-dystopian lol.

http://gizmodo.com/how-san-francisco-plans-to-use-self-driving-cars-to-fix-1778306148

Done right, self-driving cars can also alleviate the city’s affordable housing crisis. “It’s a space issue,” said Tim Papandreou, chief innovation officer for San Francisco’s Municipal Transportation Agency (SFMTA), who recently spearheaded the city’s big proposal. “We have the data to prove we won’t need the space on the streets anymore. But if we do both shared and electric automated vehicles, we’re not just freeing up space in the street, we’re freeing up space in the lots.”

― El Tomboto, Tuesday, 24 May 2016 21:59 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

<...>

http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/media/site568/2016/0517/20160517_071827_google-stuckped-0518.jpg

This diagram from a patent granted May 17 to Google shows how a pedestrian hit by a self-driving car would remain stuck to the front of the vehicle with glue, theoretically to prevent further injuries from being carried along and then thrown. (U.S. Patent Office)

― map, Tuesday, 24 May 2016 22:14 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

<...>

what could possibly go wrong w pedestrians glued to the front of cars

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, 24 May 2016 22:18 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well if they're glued to a self-driving car that never needs parking then they aren't part of the housing problem anymore

― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 25 May 2016 01:09 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

vg+

acceptable

What thread is that? I was working on some pieces about self-driving cars last week and the whole concept is mind-boggling to me

acceptable

― And the cry rang out all o'er the town / Good Heavens! Tay is down (imago), Wednesday, May 25, 2016 10:58 AM (50 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://www.executivesonline.co.uk/media/filer_public/2014/11/11/beware_of_the_bogus_man_from_del_montedocx.png

Hey stevie it's Silicon Valley Techno-Utopianism

What does "cod reggae" have to do with fish, anyway?
Erm, presumably they call it "cod", because it's got no SOLE!!!! (Doh!!!!!!!!)
― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Tuesday, December 9, 2003 9:02 AM (12 years ago)

Roflmao

heh

8 months pass...

zzz / *jerk off hand motion* at all the hot aired grandstanding and PEOPLE JUST DONT CARE ABOUT BEING A GOOD PERSON IN THIS SPCIETY ANYMORE trenchant social commentary itt. this war off attrition between two rich dudes with differentially deep pockets was a darkly hilarious twist to a morally queasy trial and raises some thorny questions about what freedom of the press /really means/ *takes bongrip* but do we have to go full guy-seated-next-to-hot-girl-in-polisci-101 with the DEMOCRACYS OVER THE RICH WON BECAUSE WE DIDNT CONFISCATE GUY WHO OWNS 10% OF FACEBOOKS WEALTH?? we're all 40 y/o old dads here

― de l'asshole (flopson), Friday, 27 May 2016 06:03 (1 minute ago) Permalink

― bamcquern, Friday, May 27, 2016 1:08 AM

zzz / *jerk off hand motion* at all the hot aired grandstanding and PEOPLE JUST DONT CARE ABOUT BEING A GOOD PERSON IN THIS SPCIETY ANYMORE trenchant social commentary itt. this war off attrition between two rich dudes with differentially deep pockets was a darkly hilarious twist to a morally queasy trial and raises some thorny questions about what freedom of the press /really means/ *takes bongrip* but do we have to go full guy-seated-next-to-hot-girl-in-polisci-101 with the DEMOCRACYS OVER THE RICH WON BECAUSE WE DIDNT CONFISCATE GUY WHO OWNS 10% OF FACEBOOKS WEALTH?? we're all 40 y/o old dads here

― de l'asshole (flopson), Friday, 27 May 2016 06:03 (2 minute ago) Permalink

― bamcquern, Friday, May 27, 2016 1:10 AM

shit i thot zing ate that post $$taks bongrip$$

― bamcquern, Friday, May 27, 2016 1:10 AM

posts you had second thought about posting twice - put them here

― sarahell, Friday, May 27, 2016 1:48 AM

each party has its lemmings. it's a beautiful thing.

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, May 25, 2016 4:32 PM (2 days ago)

Oh its like a lemmin party alright

― Daithi Bowsie (darraghmac), Wednesday, May 25, 2016 4:36 PM (2 days ago)

well done

idgi

google "lemon party" at your own risk

no offense, but let me translate that to a general audience because you lost me at "mastering":

the master is given a box containing an ocean of sound. they pour the water out onto the board with hundreds of unknowable knobs and waves begin to form over certain areas. the master makes a few adjustments, and then turns to talk to the biggest asshole musician of all time, plus his evil twin manager who does the talking. everyone pretends that everything is pretty good but could be a little better. after sending the noobs out for a restroom break, the master adds a little Oomph to the low end and a little twizzle to the high end (these correspond with sounds that bounce off of the ear lobe and the top part of the ear, respectively). the most important part of mastering is maintaining a straight face at the end of the process, after the high fives, when the master talks about what changes were made and why. this is difficult for both parties in the conversation but absolutely necessary for a good mastering job.

― I look forward to hearing from you shortly, (Karl Malone), Thursday, May 26, 2016 11:47 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

In the working space I'm using today, eventually two other people came in and at the coffee maker one of them asked the other how she came to be using this working space, after her short answer, his return answer was very long, a little bit about where he was from and where he had lived, then a large chunk about explaining what polyamory was.

I left and went back to my computer but forgot my headphones so could still hear him for some time. Eventually they walked past, and she said "well thank you for sharing", and he said "oh no problem I just love to share"

― saer, Friday, April 1, 2016 8:46 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You mess with the Beatles, you get the Wings

― Dan I., Saturday, 28 May 2016 19:04 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Trump IS Noah Cross

― kevin smith what a bro (Myonga Vön Bontee), Tuesday, May 31, 2016 3:54 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well he def wants to bang his daughter

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, May 31, 2016 3:54 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Jojen was a greenseer, but I don't think he could warg.

― Jenny Ondioleeene (Leee), Wednesday, June 1, 2016 4:59 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark

this was a good song

― 龜, Wednesday, June 1, 2016 5:06 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Original Get Back lyrics or KLF outtake, iirc.

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, June 1, 2016 5:08 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CjvOrbUWkAAr5oi.jpg:large

― reader, if you love him so much why don't you marry him? (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, June 1, 2016

(from the Guardian thread, right after soref posted "trying to find a cartoon of Harambe and Cecil the Lion chilling together in heaven, but I'm not coming up with anything.")

can't take any credit for it ftr, was seen on twitter

that is wonderful

1 RT = 1 prayer

Does god recognize this as a valid transaction, y/n

Once I ordered a pizza with black olives, got broccoli
damn my accent

― kinder, Thursday, June 2, 2016 4:52 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I happened across the name of the judge in the Tunnel Drunk case, and a quick google search confirmed my suspicion - Gonzalo Curiel is a cousin of former Clinton White House speechwriter Carolyn Curiel.

― normcore strengthening exercises (benbbag), Friday, June 3, 2016 5:46 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ok deep throat

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Friday, June 3, 2016 6:01 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I still can't believe that elmo outpolled ernie among grown up ilxors.

― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Saturday, June 4, 2016 3:59 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

typical erniebro unable to accept reality

― mario vargis loosa (wins), Saturday, June 4, 2016 4:03 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ha

Hahaha

pretty good

it's not like trump is going to get less insane over the next several months; I worried about that but he's given no indication he's capable of sticking to a rational script.

― akm

The churl can't help it

― Οὖτις

Spicy corn in a cup is a thing in South Asian neighbourhoods in London and it's only about a pound or £1.50 per serving.
― jedi slimane (suzy), Monday, 6 June 2016 20:42 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

2 spices 1 cup
― STOP KILLING ANIMALS, THEY'RE MINT (DJP), Monday, 6 June 2016 20:44 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what

the juices from the head of the prawn are amazing! certain types of frying make it p easy to eat more of the prawn in its entirety. in spain you see people sucking the shrimp head p much everywhere.

― japanese mage (LocalGarda), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:13 AM

glad dan is presumably in bed as i posted that.

― japanese mage (LocalGarda), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:14 AM

lol

don't know if this is exactly an excelsior but it deserves to be memorialized somewhere:

-----------

Whenever I'm in Bushwick I never know exactly where I am because I don't know the relative positioning of the many subway stations. So to help myself figure it out I've created a mnemonic system. Here's how it goes:

First I imagine a cranky old man whose wife Lori is in charge of his breakfast. "Lori" stands for the two Lorimer stations, from which these journeys proceed.

For the J Train I think of "Lori, Fix My Korean Ginseng Hot," which corresponds to the stops Lorimer, Flushing, Myrtle, Kosciuszko, Gates, and Halsey.

For the M Train it's "Lori, Fix My ChicKen & Waffles," which corresponds to the stops Lorimer, Flushing, Myrtle, Central, Knickerbocker, and (Myrtle-) Wyckoff. Of course here I have to remember that Chicken is two stops.

For the L Train it's "Lori, Go Get Me More Jelly Donuts & Milk," which corresponds to the stops Lorimer, Graham, Grand, Montrose, Morgan, Jefferson, Dekalb, and Myrtle (-Wyckoff). It helps that More=Morgan, not Montrose.

Keeping in mind that Myrtle and Wyckoff - Milk and Waffles - are the same station, I think of how you need Milk to make Waffle batter.

So now if I'm visiting a friend in Bushwick I place them geographically by thinking like, "oh, she lives between More and Jelly," for example.

― Josefa, Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:39 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

Nice!

I don't want to change my dn rn but I rly need someone to snatch "Of course here I have to remember that Chicken is two stops."

WU TANG CLAN - DAVID BYRNE - NILE RODGERS
        (BACKED BY THE ROOTS)

― de l'asshole (flopson), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 11:49 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i mean, that sounds totally fine, assuming The Roots backs those 3 people in different songs and not all at once

― Dierks Bentley's Holistic Detective Agency (some dude), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 12:23 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i certainly fucking hope so!

― De La Soul is no Major Lazer (ulysses), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:11 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"you may find yourself"

wikky wikky wikky

"Back to the motherfuckin' spot on Lexington"

wikky wikky wikky

"you may find yourself"

wikky wikky wikky

"in ya college ass disco dorm"

"GOOD TIMES!"

― rockpalast '82 (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:38 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

then it's decided, flopson's imagination will not be allowed to organize the roots picnic

― Dierks Bentley's Holistic Detective Agency (some dude), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:41 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahaha

"you must become no one" is p much what they tell you at acting school.

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Thursday, June 9, 2016 11:10 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"a man must be unemployed"

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Thursday, June 9, 2016 11:11 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink