WORLD'S OLDEST PERSON!!!!

there's a cat in my old neighbourhood who is 24 or so. buddy looks rough as hell (so much so that there is a sign on the block he hangs out on saying "im not neglected, im just really old, please don't call the spca" or words to that effect) but he likes to stroll on a sunny day and likes head rubs still.

30 isn't such an outlandish age for a cat, but where are the birth/baptismal/marriage/census/pension records to support that particular claim? I just don't think it's fair that cats should be held to a lower level of scrutiny than humans.

sad, though

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/05/14/worlds-oldest-cat-tragically-dies-just-days-after-breaking-recor/

interview with Emma Morano, who had a tough early life:

I worked so hard and I'm still here now, I take my pension and I'm fine. My doctor told me to eat raw meat, preferably ground so I can eat it.

I left home with calm; I took my things and I left. My husband would beat me every day, and I was not doing anything wrong. I went to work and he worked little, I always had to support him. Then an old man who lived near my house one day stops me and tells me, "Emma how can you be with that man there?" I did not go along with most anyone, I was always alone, there was my niece with me who looked after me.

Not exactly per the title and hardly a deep article, but it piqued my interest so I though it might do the same for others following this thread. Holding out for that family photo they have planned: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/jan/21/nought-to-103-in-six-generations-bradford-hanson-family-claim-uk-record

the dreaded day arrives

it must be a trip to be a really old person

that was the last person born in the 1800s, i'm told

Well, the last person born in the 1800s would've had a birthday of Dec. 31.

thank's

Dec. 31, 1899.

people in American Samoa, Midway Islands/U.S.A. and Niue have an unfair advantage when it comes to being born last on a particular day

https://twitter.com/richardmarcj/status/852521411725885440

only 58 (validated, documented) people born in the 19th century are alive today, says Wikipedia; I doubt any will be left in another six years

― the loneliness of the dexys midnight runner (unregistered), Sunday, January 30, 2011 2:04 PM (six years ago)

RIP Emma Morano

fwiw when I wrote "19th century" I meant "1800s"; I wasn't too far off in thinking that the last survivor of the 1800s would pass away at some point in 2016. tiresome pedants will have pointed out that there are at least 2 remaining survivors of the ‹‹‹19th century›››, including Violet Brown, the last living former subject of Queen Victoria (whose 97-year-old son sadly just died today).

could the 19th century refer to any other set of years other than the 1800s?

Having struggled with basic algebra and geometry while trying to do something extremely simple for the last hour, I feel like everything I once knew by heart is in doubt

Those tiresome pedants have been on my nerves for about 18 years now.

^

but fyi Karl

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Century#Debate_over_century_celebrations

Not even relating to Britain's oldest person, let alone the world's, but a nice wee article nonetheless: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/mar/25/britain-oldest-men-bob-weighton-alf-smith-110-years-old

"Unlike some fellow supercentenarians, (Bob) Weighton offers no clues to his longevity – no daily whisky or fresh air or game of Scrabble. “I have absolutely no idea why I’ve lived so long. I just haven’t died yet, that’s all.”"

Finally! An oldest person that is not full of shit.

Excellent bowel movements at his age are commendable though

Scientists unravel secrets of ‘superagers’ - "they are usually total dicks" says egg-spurt

I continue to pollute the thread with people who are nowhere near the world's oldest, but deserve note nonetheless ... https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/mar/09/oldest-person-world-ride-rollercoaster-experience His 106th birthday challenge was a zip wire ride.

there is no WORLD'S OLDEST SPIDER thread so posting this here

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2018/apr/30/worlds-oldest-known-spider-dies-at-43-after-a-quiet-life-underground

The spider did not die of old age but was killed by a wasp sting, researchers said.

Fuckin' Oz, man.

Dead at 43 after a quiet life underground? Bet he was a big Jawbreaker fan.

Wonder what bullshit excuse he had for his longevity.

Staying off the web.

nailed it

Spider was female, so no doubt she never married... to another spider... er....

kinda bums me out that this extraordinary spider didn't have a more imaginative name than 'number 16'

rip teenie, heaven needed a quadragenarian arachnid

Spider was female, so no doubt she never married

Already calling her a spinster, show some respect.

The fact that the original source is apparently The Sun makes me think I shouldn't even be posting this one, especially as her age is likely utter nonsense, but going ahead anyway for the deliciously miserable outlook.

"Long life is not at all God’s gift for me -- but a punishment.”

https://www.thrillist.com/news/nation/worlds-oldest-human-ever-never-happy

Onionesque or is this Putin trying to mess with our minds again?

she was 55 when WWII ended

I did wonder if I may have been duped by satire.

https://nationalpost.com/news/world/historys-oldest-woman-a-fraud-theory-says-122-year-old-jeanne-calment-was-actually-a-99-year-old-imposter

(Her daughter posed as her because of her money)

this is a well-written article because it doesn't get very far before pointing out the potential issues with this allegation. tristin hopper, you did a good job.

I always thought there was something a bit shifty about those eyes. And she badmouthed V van Gogh, nah deffo fake!

This is a better story.

And it’s hilarious that, making up a story about meeting van gogh, she decided the thing to do would be to trash him

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Xh0KqhgNvw

the only good record

(also if you google her, the first option that isn't just her is "jeanne calment diet" -- which was chocolate, olive oil, cigarettes and cheap red wine. so it's important that this story not be false at all)

I think she just meant a wee noggin of red wine as opposed to finishing off the bottle and then some, but I want to believe as well.

one bottle of red for every bottle of olive oil, works for me

this was actually always my favourite part of the story:

In 1965, at age 90 and with no heirs, Calment signed a contract to sell her apartment to lawyer André-François Raffray, retaining a life estate.[13] Raffray, then aged 47 years, agreed to pay her a monthly sum of 2,500 francs (€381.12) until she died. Raffray ended up paying Calment the equivalent of more than €140,000, more than double the apartment's value. After Raffray's death from cancer at the age of 77, in 1995, his family continued the payments until Calment's death.[13] Calment's comment on this situation was reported to be, "In life, one sometimes makes bad deals."[6]

i know a lot abt her bcz i'm a music journalist