why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

^^^ That's the ultimate solution. Hermetically sealed from every other person on the planet.

ulysses perfectly articulating how i feel towards the personal space facist

Partic bad, worst subgroup of these ppl are those unable to deal with the you-may-make-contact realities of a busy public transport system.

one of my new hobbies is asking people to move their bags off the seat of the bus even if there are other seats available

Difficult one to judge. Evidence for the prosecution:

- man who ate an apple next to me in crowded carriage: kssssssssssssssssssssss-shlunk. kunch kunch kunch. kssssssssssssssssss-shlunk. kunch kunch kunch. yuwulp.

- the corner of someone else's laptop that pushes very quickly into your back or shoulders and honestly feels like a punch, like you turn round angry

- you stand in kitchen alone. you turn round. housemate is there, as if out of nowhere, in what that image describes as your 'intimate zone', standing behind you, sullen and silent. keeps happening, you keep forgiving it as you're pretty sure he's not the full shilling. but then: one day you spot him from the other side, going into the kitchen, and see him ever so carefully opening the door and tip-toeing in ...

this should really go on the *creepiest sponsored ads on facebook* thread...

https://scontent.fbos1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/12814593_546665198829026_1959257083723515829_n.png?oh=e522791eb4d71688880b64e08a061064&oe=57E299F5

or maybe it's beautiful to you and i'm the creep! i can't help but think of horror movies when i see things like that.

also it's from a place called tees and hoodies and they will pray for your kidney:

previous replies
Tees & Hoodies
Tees & Hoodies Gary, we have just lifted you up in prayer to our Heavenly Father that your kidney may be touched and healed. We will continue to pray for you and your family. It touched our heart that you thought of us to have the privilege of praying for you.

http://i.imgur.com/w1bzLpW.jpg

^ stop that

David Avocado strikes again...

https://scontent-cdg2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13138995_10153497341316512_85099994718946776_n.jpg?oh=fbab4cc04d717a702aca6df1e0efd0df&oe=57D5BDAB

Makes you think...

I'm still thinking....

not enough typos in that one

you stand in kitchen alone. you turn round. housemate is there, as if out of nowhere, in what that image describes as your 'intimate zone', standing behind you, sullen and silent. keeps happening, you keep forgiving it as you're pretty sure he's not the full shilling. but then: one day you spot him from the other side, going into the kitchen, and see him ever so carefully opening the door and tip-toeing in ...

OK dude if this is actually happening to you, move the fuck out before he knifes you or something.

the snake is HILLARY and the fish is BERNIE

@trayce: I have come up with various moving out plans so I have a backdoor in case of this guy going into meltdown.

He's keen on dropping casual references to suicide and self-harm into conversation. FWIW I've rung up a mental health charity and discussed some of his behaviour with them (the kitchen creepin' is only part of it) and they said that overall it sounded like OCPD (as opposed to more regular OCD). Overall I'm more bothered about him doing something to himself than to anyone else ... light at the end of the tunnel is that he's mentioned that his current job gives him a commute that's too long so he himself wants to move.

this isn't something that I see on facebook, but I'm confused by the existence of these seemingly accurate but incredibly banal quote macros. are they made automatically by a bot? are they made for a joke to troll people?

http://izquotes.com/quotes-pictures/quote-i-loathe-cheese-it-makes-me-ill-colin-baker-10224.jpg

http://celebriot.com/quotes_img/a/alison-goldfrapp/alison-goldfrapp-quotes-11780.png

http://www.quotehd.com/imagequotes/authors43/tmb/colin-baker-actor-quote-i-loathe-cheese-it-makes-me.jpg

is the colin baker cheese thing some kind of meme? he seems to tweet about cheese quite a lot?

https://twitter.com/sawboneshex/status/630798391795130368

https://twitter.com/sawboneshex/status/721596816102449152

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13263723_981570918579307_6617925376217363368_n.jpg?oh=84a2a29127fdf19a1a5b767d2c764fb9&oe=57D9A6D3

really tempted to make version of this with grieving parents of jihadists but am not sure it will be universally popular

RIP dead war guy

these are my awards from army

He's alive! He's right there! Am I the only one who can see him? Is he a ghost?

no it says "their son" so that must be dad cosplaying his lad as a kind of moving tribute

xp think he's the gardener

their son is 5 and he went to war

when Johnny comes tricycling home again

1 share = 10 prayers now? Fucking inflation

the prayers are also 25% less effective than prayers in 2002 according to UNICEF

Our thoughts and shares go out to them

confirmation that an internet share is more effective than prayer

really tempted to make version of this with grieving parents of jihadists but am not sure it will be universally popular

1 like = Allahu Akbar 1 share = 72 virgins

You can not petition the Lord with shares!

"Your penance is 30 Our Father's and 100 Hail Mary's."

"Hmmm. How many Likes does that translate to, Father?"

kids these days have it so easy. back in my day chain letters used to require typing out ten copies and then affixing a postage stamp to each one. now that took real commitment.

1 deactivate account = 1 self-flagellation

https://www.facebook.com/ClashDaily/photos/a.229456700504449.51029.228702593913193/981772771939501/?type=3&theater

idgi

please no flirting

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13245309_10154082979865638_7507404918566518338_n.jpg?oh=b5fb2c663869cf0e849d530b95ffb9ef&oe=57D387E2

victorious marriages

married? what is this 'married'? please explain again

guess if things don't work out it becomes a loser marriage lol

His marriage is roughly the color of an old jizz sock.

same

"If you would like to flirt, my tinder account is at –"

-and we will remain SOCIAL MEDIA friends.

Finally, an image bulletin to get all these WOMEN to quit flocking ME. I keep telling them "HI. I am married."

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13266124_10153833552697880_5986860558354608947_n.jpg?oh=67e1dec053bf78562896c386ed2f331f&oe=57E7A2F2

be an important person's mother

who attempts to murder a black man in front of his family

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13263781_10153732032267711_6639916590552629510_n.jpg?oh=25d3cc3766ee89d5e254323778d9fd30&oe=57D2C4E2

shakespeare puts the lie to that one pretty easily