Clickbait Article Theater: All Night's 10 Unofficial Rules for the Strip Club

i like the transition from "coolest kid in the after-school club" to "worst stepdad"

If you want a free show, go watch birds at the park.

oi mates

Your Back Muscles Wrap Around to Your Breasts So If You Really Want The Best Massage, I Have to Rub On Your Front

lol

Saying "Everybody Masturbates" Is Not The Same Thing as Saying "I Jack Off"
This is the last time I'm going to say this: all guys do it. The pope and the president and John Cena and it's totally natural. Sometimes it helps you get to sleep and it reduces stress. But I am not saying that I do it. Even though it would be totally okay if I did. But I don't. And I swear, if you say I do one more time, I am gonna beat your ass so bad.

Stay Away From Old Man Haggerty's Shed
He's fucking crazy. I heard he killed a kid and ate him. He went crazy ever since his wife died and now he just wants kids to have just the worst time. Whoever told you I have a secret stash of Penthouse behind that shed is a fucking liar. Who told you that? I swear to fucking God I'll end them

That Wasn't Pot, It Was Italian Seasoning
Yes it was! Doug wanted to make a pizza tonight so I told him I'd bring the seasonings over. I don't know why it smells like pot because I don't even know what pot smells like. Why do YOU know what pot smells like, that's the real question. Just get off my back for once, jeez.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

http://cbs12.com/news/local/vladimir-putin-arrested-at-publix

I applaud this revive.