itt: consternation and wailing about Zach Snyder's upcoming SUPERMAN/BATMAN film/sequel to MAN OF STEEL -- official title: BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

*I* went to fuckin' Zootopia on Easter, ffs!

yo is it true supes got sonned by a bunny cop after a aol-time warner beef??????

xxp Iron Man was the first step, but actually took its time with establishing the character, not that I'm a big fan. The Avengers is fully centered around weightless CGI action scenes that are impossible to care about and a series of one-liners in place of character development - the movie is an eternal smirk, like that Dreamworks animated character meme, a slick, glossy product that found the 'one weird trick' for fooling critics into doling out praise for "self-awareness" and "not taking itself seriously", and every Marvel film since has copied and pasted it.

Except The Mandarin in Iron Man 3. That was actual fun, but most people disliked it of course.

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20 mins in, good god this movie is aggressively stupid. why are they cutting from this actually interesting Batman man-on-the-street view of the Metropolis destruction to this stupid terrorism subplot? why is the US congress holding a hearing where they sympathetically listen to the pleas of terrorist cells who recently killed CIA operatives? also why is Jimmy Olsen (who wasn't in the last movie at all and is thus being first established) a CIA operative?

already sick of the jesus crap. "he doesn't answer to god" says the lady from a village where dudes just murder CIA operatives in broad daylight.

rmde. this is some shit writing.

thank god Bruce Wayne called the people in his building and told them to evacuate. they appeared to be watching the city fall apart around them thank god their boss told them they could do something they probably would have done the minute a giant spaceship started shooting gravity waves.

MY LEGS ARE CRUSHED

I SAID MY LEGS ARE CRUSHED

YOU ARE THE BOSS, BOSS

did Snyder write this dialog in middle school

oh give me a break guy in a wheelchair is mad at superman. what about his boss who didn't bother calling into the office to until it was too late?

"These bullets are not sold commercial in the world, even black market"

Lois Lane just keeping up on the global weapons black market

Lex is really just a non-fun version of Edward E. Nigma. it is bad. hard to watch.

those recent mickey mouse cartoons are really good!

i do think someone doing a fake "zack synder does (x) beloved character" could be quite entertaining.

COMING THIS SEASON

FROM VISIONARY DIRECTOR ZACK SNYDER

CALVIN & HOBBES: THUNDERDOME

woah wait a minute, so wheelchair guy just got bailed out by Lex.

not by Bruce Wayne. his boss. i was expecting that, with the whole name-dropping "I WORK FOR BRUCE WAYNE!" as he was getting arrested on live tv.

rmde

apparently he works for Wayne Co. yet lives in an unfurnished crackhouse.

this is 18 months after his office blew up. dude should have a new office.

oh goody it's Lex going to redo his VO for the trailer for the 6th time.

now a scene with wheelchair guy and senator lady, two people with stupid and unclear motivations, being manipulated by someone else with stupid and unclear motivations. nobody in this movie is interesting in any way.

this movie dropped 81% on its second Friday. Made 15 million, which seems pretty grim for such a supposedly unassailable pair of properties.

"Bruuuce! Bruucue! Am I too soon? You have to do something! I'm not going to tell you, just trust me, you're going to have to watch the next movie to understand this!"

oh i see why people hate Batman here. it's not because he is killing people, it's because he's George W Bush.

the craziest part is that bats meets the flash is a dream-within-a-dream xp

hope you stole this and aren't texting in a cinema

oh yeah i stole it. you know what they say about thieves stealing from thieves.

nice transponder Batman thankfully Lex's security force is too stupid to notice a batman shaped tracking device with a blinking red light

ok i just realized the whole b plot is a Beghazi reference thing no wonder i hate the senator and wheelchair guy and all their scenes

oh wait a minute "the bullet was developed by a private company" i thought Lois had confirmed the bullet was not even sold on the black market

Batman is watching CNN and his employee gives him all these crucial documents pertaining to the very thing that has consumed his life yet he says "Jesus Christ, why haven't I seen these?" and immediately puts them down and goes back to watching CNN.

oh god no this movie is so bad. Lex is really making it hard to finish this.

everyone in this movie is dumb as a brick.

I stole and watched this POS yesterday as well. Truly awful. At least MoS had that batshit weird beginning on Krypton and Watchmen was...a suitable fit for Snyder. But this thing just reeks of cocaine addled desperation. Wonder Woman can't deliver a line but wow she is stunning though, yeah...she can't act. Baffleck fight scene with hoods is ok but fuck this thing.

a cinemascope of "B" is pretty terrible for a movie like this. all of the nolan Batmans had an A and even Man of Steel had a B+ (so did Superman Returns.)

i think another key to all of this is you have an unlikable actor playing the most likable superhero, and an actor with no ability to look serious without looking silly playing the most serious and dark major superhero, and also the Riddler/Lex comparison from Adam is otm.

it's nighttime why is Daily Planet still full of people. i thought they were hurting for money (they reference this many times, nobody reads papers anymore, Lois has to fly coach, etc) yet everyone is working overtime

i wish technology existed so we could unsee the movie

ok the titular fight was lame lame lame. 10 minutes long, really slow, really stupid ending, and dumb things like Batman using smoke bomb to cloud Superman's vision even thought Superman has x-ray vision. the whole martha reveal is really as stupid as it sounds.

and now Lois Lane runs in. no idea where she was, how she found them, etc.

this is a running theme. these are not characters these are walking plot devices.

powers out at the Daily Planet. unfortunately nobody can leave because in this movie if monsters start destroying the city your boss WILL NOT LET YOU LEAVE.

Doomdsay looks totally wrong. he's too smooth. he should have pieces of bone and shit sticking out of his skin.

still looking forward to the first appearance of Wonder Woman, 2 hours in. so far the track record for women characters in this movie is either getting blown up or kidnapped.

or shot at point-blank range. or pushed off a roof.

every time they cut to Lois Lane i want to yell at the screen

ok fuck this movie. everyone was right, it's a piece of crap. Man of Steel was way better than this.

imo the completely missing the point of these characters are established characters was beside the point. the movie is trash. it is a mess. if this was about brand new characters nobody would care.

Die Hard 4 was a better movie than this.

*SPOILERS OBV*

they are going to just keep going with this Jesus stuff. it will be even worse in the next movie since you know what is going to happen.

it was really hard to sit through Lex's speeches. just because it's the same thing over and over and over. i get what they were going for, that he was the hype man, and it makes sense, but it was just too much. they had too many scenes of him saying the same thing over and over.

this movie really suffered from ignoring Show Not Tell. lots of scenes of people talking about how Superman is this or Superman is that. lots of scenes of people watching TVs. lazy storytelling. too much dumbness. people doing things that make no sense other than they are in the Batman V Superman movie. they:

1 wrote the trailer first
2 wrote the title fight and wonder woman/sequel teasers in a weekend
3 wrote the rest of the movie backwards from that. what character needed to be in what scenes and what they needed to say to state their current motivation.

it is a mess. the political plot makes no sense. the disabled anti-Superman crusader makes no sense. these characters have no personality beyond delivering the plot for this movie. they don't exist outside of these frames. that is why everyone at the Daily Planet is always working, even at night when all the power in the city is out.

there were good performances though. i really enjoyed Fishburne, who had a funny David Lynchian-humor to some of his lines. he said something about Superman clicking his heels three times to go back to Oz that was weird. i liked that.

Gal Godot is there mostly for marketing she does a decent job and is a good pick though. introduced being stared at by Bruce Wayne at a party she doesn't say anything for 2+ hours when Snyder pops in a quarter and the character select music plays (twice!). in the meantime Wayne is tracking her down, downloading a Dropbox of videos and photos of her. but Batman has always been a voyuerist.

right before her big entrance she is on a plane, watching a TV. right before that she is looking at a monitor with Batman's download of her videos. does this sound like a great movie to you?

Jeremy Irons ruled. and Affleck did fine I think but good god they need a different writer and director thankfully he will be doing the next movie himself (?) honestly not sure I can handle more Snyderverse.

still i love Superman. i grew up wearing my Superman Halloween costume all day long. and Synder is very technically proficient, he can make a hell of an image. a dumb, beautiful image. i don't hate Cavill i think he may be my 2nd most favorite live action Superman. the world they set up and how they introduced him, his relationship as an alien to Earth, hasn't really been emphasized so much in film depictions imo. for that reason i really enjoyed maybe 1/2 MoS.

Diane Lane was great. at the end she was the only thing that moved me about something

Diane Lane was great. at the end she was the only thing that moved me about Superman's death. The Music Tapes did the best recorded verison of that imo:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrHDg1l_TQA

Cavill is a good Superman but Snyder doesn't know how to direct him. in the first movie there were all these shots where he just looked constipated or incredulous. i think he is good at putting across Superman's vulnerability, maybe the most believable yet.

the scenes where Wonder Woman was on the internet watching trailers for what looked like lame TV shows. they looked so bad. the Cyborg guy looked like late 90s sci fi channel. Aquaman lol

WW was the best part of the fight or whatever the hell the last 3rd of this movie was. the big Superman Batman fight was about 10 minutes long w bad dialog breaks in between. Wonder Woman's boss battle was what, 5? everything else is a car commercial.

BvS fight was so bad. Batman used a smoke bomb. Superman has x-ray vision, which has been shown to be an involuntary effect of the yellow sun of the Earth on Superman's biology. he just has x-ray vision. just before this scene Superman declares his reason for fighting Batman (to save his mother) with an emotional burst of his heat vision (a theme repeated from MoS). this is how charged he is when he gets there to fight Batman, yet Batman throws a non-kryptonite smoke bomb and Superman can't see him and leaps at nothing through the smoke. you can make the argument that he is just going easy on Batman but this is directly in opposition to how his character was set up the scene before, his eyes red from heat vision, uncontrollably angry at Batman. this is how the movie makes no sense. this is how it betrays its characters. not because Batman or Superman have these inflexible rules, but by just writing the movie poorly. by letting it have a lack of character continuity between scenes. mostly the movie makes no sense. Lex Luthor is a poor villain and he is half of the movie, his plots form the horribly boring political intrigue "real world". Lex's half of the movie is there to provide the VO for multiple trailers and his actually very short hype speech about God and Man and the Devil and Superman is so one-dimensional that it quickly wears out its welcome. yet it present through the entire movie! and probably the next one too!

i did enjoy Superman Returns wayyyyy more than this. i wonder what a sequel to that would've been like?

this movie is bad, but i get the feeling that it's become the film that critics (and other folks) enjoy piling on -- every year throws up one or two of those. as a result i think people are exaggerating the distance between this film's badness and the badness of other films that critics have praised, like the dark knight or iron man 2 or deadpool. the more-awfulness of this film seems like a matter of degree rather than kind to me.

Nolan Batman, Deadpool, and IM2 were trying to do very different things, tho, and whatever flaws they had were not the sheer wrongness pervading the all aspects of the entire production.

I would say that the first in the most recent spate of batman films was pretty good, though it is weird to me that it spawned such over the top fanboy live. The others were hot garbage imo.

All the iron man films are fun.

I will see deadpool at some point and prob find it begrudgingly okay

DKR is great. I almost like it more than TDK. havent seen Deadpool but i wouldn't say no to seeing it. Iron Man 2 was okay i dunno what people want from these movies. also this is not just a sequel to an Iron Man movie but Batman V Superman, the first big-screen debut clash of the 2 most famous superheros of all time.

there is nothing as bad as Luthor's scheme with the senator in any of the other movies not even Green Lantern has something that dumb and incoherent

I will see deadpool at some point and prob find it begrudgingly okay

― i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Sunday, April 3, 2016 7:04 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark

did this. It is