itt: consternation and wailing about Zach Snyder's upcoming SUPERMAN/BATMAN film/sequel to MAN OF STEEL -- official title: BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

I got some good schadenfreude in today reading an article about how much of the movie's huge weekend take was from presales. I cannot imagine that it won't freefall once word of mouth spreads.

Also, between the humongous filmmaking costs and the even more humongous marketing budget, this apparently has to do, like, Avengers-level business to break even.

jeeeeeeeezus, this sounds somehow worse than i already assumed it would be.
and the only darkseid reference is in dreams?

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eMk1EBo7R78/Vcne5XD0grI/AAAAAAAAbkg/C4JDc_DI9tU/s1600/scan0131.jpg

The final shot in Batman v Superman — specks of dirt rising up over Clark Kent’s coffin — would seem to suggest that the last son of Krypton will have a similar resurrection in the Justice League movies. But Snyder almost didn’t include the shot. “I went back and forth with it, to be honest,” he said. “I do feel like it offers a teeny bit of hope for those people who need it. I feel like it’s obvious that we have to figure out a way to get him back, but I don’t know that everyone [knows that]. So I just wanted to give them that little jolt out of the theater, where they’re like, Oh shit! What’s going to happen?“

"It's obvious, but we needed to make it extra obvious."

http://www.comicbookbrain.com/_imagery/_2007_05_13/kamandi_spread_1500.jpg

Martha Kent hands Lois Lane the engagement ring Clark was gonna give her and everybody cries.

tbh I can't remember if he was buried as Superman or Clark Kent, but either way, as you hint at, they'd have probably figured it out when he didn't show up for work on Monday.

there is a bit where Perry talks about how nobody reads newspapers anymore, but he's mostly just a stupid police chief. "NOBODY WANTS TO READ A SMEAR PIECE ON BATMAN, CLARK!!! I ASSIGNED YOU THE FOOTBALL GAME", and telling Lois she has to fly Coach and not Economy Plus.

and the only darkseid reference is in dreams?

there is pretty heated debate as to whether these are purely dreams or not. I mean the Darkseid shit is DEFINITELY only a dream, it definitely doesn't happen, but there is heated disagreement over whether the Flash's appearance is real, as part of his time travel abilities, or it's him using time-travel in a dream sequence.

tbh by that point I was concentrating on my swelling bladder and the WGW "Who Gives a Shit?" JPG was replacing everything I saw on screen in my head.

any other cameos from major DC characters? is there an aquaman appearance?

it is kinda funny in almost all Superman visual media that anytime Kryptonite is used on the dude, he begins weakening slowly to the point where...he...can't....speak...words...running...out...of...breath

but anytime Kryptonite is used on any other native Kryptonian, the shit is instantly fatal.

yes, Jason Momoa's Aquaman appears for about 5 seconds, emerging from water.

and uhhhh there was some obscure character apparently, a torso on a wall that I didn't recognize. someone IDed them in an article a few days ago and I already forgot who it is. I think that's it?

i almost want to pay for you to go to this movie so I can get your reaction

you'd have to pay a lot.
google tells me cyborg shows up in this as well

i'm afraid i would just keep yelling BULLSHIT at the screen and get into a fight with somebody if i saw it in theaters

ahh just read an article and yes, he's the person I was just unable to identify.

basically he appeared as the top half of a torso and nothing more on a wall, and Joe Morton was playing a scientist working on him.

at least they didn't retcon krypto into being some sort of snarling rottweiler or something.
Right? RIGHT?!?!?!?!

there's some smug self-proclaimed Comic Czar 'friend' of mine who basically every time these movies comes out deems himself the canon opinion, and his opinion is that the comics lovers 'get this film'. I am so tempted to point him to this thread because a) I'm bored and b) he's so dumb he could be one of the most entertaining trolls in years.

but I can't do that to this board.

xpost I don't believe so no, didn't see no dogs but to be honest I've tried to forget most of this already.

we need new blood

The in-dream time travel warning was such incoherent film-making. It's not only unresolved in this movie, it's also irrelevant to this movie!

"Comics lovers" don't even get comics tho, which is the thing xpost

comics aren't just for kids anymore

at least they didn't retcon krypto into being some sort of snarling rottweiler or something.
Right? RIGHT?!?!?!?!

― i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Sunday, March 27, 2016 8:25 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

DC already did the next best thing:

Then: http://www.cartoonscrapbook.com/01pics-L/super-friends-73_L13.jpg
Now: https://dailypop.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/wondedog-kills-marvin.jpg

people saying DC put Marvel "on notice" with this movie is kinda hilarious, like it's any threat to the Marvel empire. even if the movie remains a financial success, it's not going to steal any audience from those films, nor cause them to change anything about the strategy they've so meticulously laid out.

Did you know they already have a solo movie planned for the character that you (and probably 90% of this movie's audience) didn't even recognize? Look out, Marvel!

Oh look, future plot ideas:

http://wfcomicsblog.blogspot.com/2013/12/worlds-finest-247-november-1977.html?m=1

Donald J. Trump ‏@realDonaldTrump 18 Sep 2013

Everyone should calm down. @BenAffleck is going to do a great job as Batman.

snyder can't even do cheap pathos properly ffs - you can't expect your audience to fear their hero is dead from a spike in the chest 20 minutes after he's already shrugged off a point-blank nuclear detonation

the whole thing is so po-faced and it's not even earned. Snyder is one of those dudes who isn't very smart himself, but thinks himself the smartest guy in the room, so he fears people aren't getting it and has his characters narrate their feelings in case their faces didn't sell it (which with Cavill is usually the case).

also has the same issue that (the far better) Straight Outta Compton had where they over-explain the obvious (and yet there were some other moments that could have used some elaboration that Snyder just felt ehh fuck it the nerds will get it).

I still love that to buy Luthor as the puppetmaster of this whole fight, you have to basically accept that he lets his own crew get murdered by Batman to obtain the Kryptonite that he actually wanted him to have anyway.

instead of, y'know, pulling Batman aside and sayin "hey I got something you'll like", considering nobody knows Lex is a criminal yet in this version of Supes. I mean the dude is telling members of the US Senate he has Kryptonite and proposes using it as a preventive measure!

I like the theory better that he's a disturbed idiot that likes to take credit for masterminding the superman/Bat fight but really it just happened organically and he retconned it to be his idea.

is it true that there is a big scene where Batman busts in somewhere to steal kryptonite but fails and then later does it successfully off-camera?

yes. Batman ices a bunch of henchmen in a car chase, and right as he's about to steal it, superman fucks up his ride, then says "Next time someone shines your batsignal, don't show up. You're finished. Consider this mercy."

then he flies off. and a few minutes later they show Lex Luthor going to his building with police/etc and security all swarming the place and it's clear someone broke in and there's a broken case which presumably had the Kryptonite and inside there's one of those metal Batman insignia things that he likes to brand people with, lying in the case.

so basically....it's the "Off Limits" sketch from The State.

Red Letter guys perceptive as usual, especially the observation that Luthor (and most of everyone except Batman) is essentially motiveless, and that Jesse's Luthor works better as the chaos driven Joker than as a super genius schemer. And that dour Superman fails as a counter to Batman, except that Batman would not hate innately good Superman, so Supes has to be a glum jerk. And that certain scenes (like the apparent bombing of congress and the attempted theft of kryptonite?) literally do not need to exist, whereas scenes that should exist (like the actual theft of kryptonite) apparently don't exist! And that it makes no sense that Luthor would have a file on other superheroes, let alone heroes with their own logos (!). Etc.

Also liked their suggestion that DC just give up and hand all the characters to Marvel.

Needless to say, I haven't seen this and the last one and don't want to. But I guess a lot of people do/did, at least this past weekend.

if you've seen the trailer, you've seen the movie.

like my friend keeps insisting "if you don't cheer when Wonder Woman shows up, you must be dead inside".

oh, you mean that scene that I've already seen 57 times for the last 5 months because they inexplicably included it in the trailer? yeah, forgive me for not being excited for something I knew was coming and was already sick of.

I heard they added some techno-grunge music to pair with her arrival.

couldn't hear it over the cum-sounds from people in the theatre

It's more like a quasi-"immigrant song" tribal drums and yelling kinda thing. It was pretty hilarious (unintentionally).

Intro-ing Wonder Woman with the actual 'Immigrant Song' sounds pretty badass. Snyder should've shelled out a few clams for the rights.

Dude on my FB mentioned something about Zimmer just recycling her intro from the 300 score. Check for yourselves:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S176AKQhcCk

Some of you may be amused to know that the reason it sounds like techno grunge? Junkie XL.

Also, here, the Guardian weighs in, and a buncha snarky types pile on in the comments:

http://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/mar/25/review-batman-v-superman-dawn-of-justice?CMP=share_btn_link#comments

Wonder Woman was the best part. She was mysterious and had cool theme music. Also I like how they introduced the fact that she doesn't age through a photograph, made her seem more vampiric than I usually imagine Wonder Woman.

I do not think Batman needed to lure the beast back to gotham in order to spear him. Couldn't he go get the spear and stab him away from a population center? This is why you need Robin.

Also I understand Superman and Lois are very nice forgive and forget type folks, but like, Batman tried to kill Superman. I don't think he should have been welcome at the funeral.

Kinda feel like he would a just killed the bouncers

That's true. I forgot that Batman is a mass murderer in this excellent film.

Btw, Alfred is such an enabler. What kind of father figure goes along with Bruce's insane vendetta against the underclass?

One that knows what's good for him, seeee?

i think it's negligent and he should be ashamed of himself.

More Fourth World stuff?

http://www.ew.com/article/2016/03/28/batman-v-superman-deleted-scene-steppenwolf

the whole film shoulda just been every damn DC character standing on a carousel and all the movie does is spin around and show all their faces, like the "Too Many Cooks" trailer.

kinda was what they were going for anyway

That's Yuga Khan obv

I have no idea why people thought Steppenwolf

NB: I think DC comics are stupid and don't care about any of this

i can think of no-one less well-suited to bring kirby's kaledoscopic madness to the silver screen than the clowns currently holding the reins :(