itt: consternation and wailing about Zach Snyder's upcoming SUPERMAN/BATMAN film/sequel to MAN OF STEEL -- official title: BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

https://pastorchrisjordan.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/superman-comic-2.jpg

http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/jimmyolsencover12.jpg

http://www.cynical-c.com/archives2/bloggraphics/051.jpg

http://mar1annec.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341c0c9353ef0115707489c3970b-pi

Basically, "Superdickery: The Movie"

Mort Weisinger: The Movie

the 'superman accuses batman of being a witch' story would be a fine sequel for this movie http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/2016/03/26/i-love-ya-but-youre-strange-that-time-superman-tried-to-burn-batman-at-the-stake-for-being-a-witch/

wasn't planning to see this tonight but I did. even more hamfisted than I expected but credit where credit is due it wasn't entirely shite. some fine shots, a couple of almost genuine moments worked in between all the false and forced ones.

in a weird way it kind of reminded me of the wachowskis' work of the last, oh, 20 years: it tries to do some things. it trips on its own cape at every turn but I kinda respect the attempt. Laughed out loud and rolled eyes almost constantly but I didn't come out angry like I did from SPECTRE... that said, the only reason I'm not calling for eisenberg to be shot into space is I assume he delivered the performance he was asked for.

I don't know why I went to this. It was bad and boring.

The one thing in the movie that I thought was amusing is the idea that the way to get Superman to show up right away, wherever one happens to be, is to push Lois Lane off a building.

It's revealing that that gag has gone from Lois jumping herself to prove a point, to being pushed.

My cousin Paul, who has actually written these characters for DC Comics liked it. If I could give him the stink-eye via Facebook I would.

I had to set my fb purity to include "if you READ THE COMICS" and all variants of said phrase.

Pretty good:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGsrMaxx8N4

Skip about 6'00" in for actual relevant bits.

i am finding the trashing of this movie genuinely enjoyable and coming around to being happy this was made
half in the bag recap is very fun to listen to, makes me wanna order a little caesars pizza and play shadowrun

do they kill superman in this dumb thing? is that near the end?

yeah and they have a long drawn out fucking funeral for him that takes goddamn forever

and at the end, you see the dirt move in his casket indicating he's really alive, which everybody cheers at despite it being completely obvious he isn't dead.

after the third false end this dude next to me was like "aw seriously?"

oh and Martha Kent hands Lois Lane the engagement ring Clark was gonna give her and everybody cries. well except for the 3 of us in my row that were snickering

p sure the only reason Bruce's speech takes so long at the end is because it's to Wonder Woman and he wants to keep staring at her butt as long as he can

Superman is buried alive, I guess.

yeah, altho if he was alive then he either

a) didn't know it OR

b) is a huge dick and wanted to enjoy his funeral before he told anybody

I got some good schadenfreude in today reading an article about how much of the movie's huge weekend take was from presales. I cannot imagine that it won't freefall once word of mouth spreads.

Also, between the humongous filmmaking costs and the even more humongous marketing budget, this apparently has to do, like, Avengers-level business to break even.

jeeeeeeeezus, this sounds somehow worse than i already assumed it would be.
and the only darkseid reference is in dreams?

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eMk1EBo7R78/Vcne5XD0grI/AAAAAAAAbkg/C4JDc_DI9tU/s1600/scan0131.jpg

The final shot in Batman v Superman — specks of dirt rising up over Clark Kent’s coffin — would seem to suggest that the last son of Krypton will have a similar resurrection in the Justice League movies. But Snyder almost didn’t include the shot. “I went back and forth with it, to be honest,” he said. “I do feel like it offers a teeny bit of hope for those people who need it. I feel like it’s obvious that we have to figure out a way to get him back, but I don’t know that everyone [knows that]. So I just wanted to give them that little jolt out of the theater, where they’re like, Oh shit! What’s going to happen?“

"It's obvious, but we needed to make it extra obvious."

http://www.comicbookbrain.com/_imagery/_2007_05_13/kamandi_spread_1500.jpg

Martha Kent hands Lois Lane the engagement ring Clark was gonna give her and everybody cries.

tbh I can't remember if he was buried as Superman or Clark Kent, but either way, as you hint at, they'd have probably figured it out when he didn't show up for work on Monday.

there is a bit where Perry talks about how nobody reads newspapers anymore, but he's mostly just a stupid police chief. "NOBODY WANTS TO READ A SMEAR PIECE ON BATMAN, CLARK!!! I ASSIGNED YOU THE FOOTBALL GAME", and telling Lois she has to fly Coach and not Economy Plus.

and the only darkseid reference is in dreams?

there is pretty heated debate as to whether these are purely dreams or not. I mean the Darkseid shit is DEFINITELY only a dream, it definitely doesn't happen, but there is heated disagreement over whether the Flash's appearance is real, as part of his time travel abilities, or it's him using time-travel in a dream sequence.

tbh by that point I was concentrating on my swelling bladder and the WGW "Who Gives a Shit?" JPG was replacing everything I saw on screen in my head.

any other cameos from major DC characters? is there an aquaman appearance?

it is kinda funny in almost all Superman visual media that anytime Kryptonite is used on the dude, he begins weakening slowly to the point where...he...can't....speak...words...running...out...of...breath

but anytime Kryptonite is used on any other native Kryptonian, the shit is instantly fatal.

yes, Jason Momoa's Aquaman appears for about 5 seconds, emerging from water.

and uhhhh there was some obscure character apparently, a torso on a wall that I didn't recognize. someone IDed them in an article a few days ago and I already forgot who it is. I think that's it?

i almost want to pay for you to go to this movie so I can get your reaction

you'd have to pay a lot.
google tells me cyborg shows up in this as well

i'm afraid i would just keep yelling BULLSHIT at the screen and get into a fight with somebody if i saw it in theaters

ahh just read an article and yes, he's the person I was just unable to identify.

basically he appeared as the top half of a torso and nothing more on a wall, and Joe Morton was playing a scientist working on him.

at least they didn't retcon krypto into being some sort of snarling rottweiler or something.
Right? RIGHT?!?!?!?!

there's some smug self-proclaimed Comic Czar 'friend' of mine who basically every time these movies comes out deems himself the canon opinion, and his opinion is that the comics lovers 'get this film'. I am so tempted to point him to this thread because a) I'm bored and b) he's so dumb he could be one of the most entertaining trolls in years.

but I can't do that to this board.

xpost I don't believe so no, didn't see no dogs but to be honest I've tried to forget most of this already.

we need new blood

The in-dream time travel warning was such incoherent film-making. It's not only unresolved in this movie, it's also irrelevant to this movie!

"Comics lovers" don't even get comics tho, which is the thing xpost

comics aren't just for kids anymore

at least they didn't retcon krypto into being some sort of snarling rottweiler or something.
Right? RIGHT?!?!?!?!

― i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Sunday, March 27, 2016 8:25 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

DC already did the next best thing:

Then: http://www.cartoonscrapbook.com/01pics-L/super-friends-73_L13.jpg
Now: https://dailypop.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/wondedog-kills-marvin.jpg

people saying DC put Marvel "on notice" with this movie is kinda hilarious, like it's any threat to the Marvel empire. even if the movie remains a financial success, it's not going to steal any audience from those films, nor cause them to change anything about the strategy they've so meticulously laid out.

Did you know they already have a solo movie planned for the character that you (and probably 90% of this movie's audience) didn't even recognize? Look out, Marvel!

Oh look, future plot ideas:

http://wfcomicsblog.blogspot.com/2013/12/worlds-finest-247-november-1977.html?m=1

Donald J. Trump ‏@realDonaldTrump 18 Sep 2013

Everyone should calm down. @BenAffleck is going to do a great job as Batman.

snyder can't even do cheap pathos properly ffs - you can't expect your audience to fear their hero is dead from a spike in the chest 20 minutes after he's already shrugged off a point-blank nuclear detonation

the whole thing is so po-faced and it's not even earned. Snyder is one of those dudes who isn't very smart himself, but thinks himself the smartest guy in the room, so he fears people aren't getting it and has his characters narrate their feelings in case their faces didn't sell it (which with Cavill is usually the case).

also has the same issue that (the far better) Straight Outta Compton had where they over-explain the obvious (and yet there were some other moments that could have used some elaboration that Snyder just felt ehh fuck it the nerds will get it).