itt: consternation and wailing about Zach Snyder's upcoming SUPERMAN/BATMAN film/sequel to MAN OF STEEL -- official title: BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

life is full of surprises

Peter Labuza ‏@labuzamovies
BATMAN V SUPERMAN (Snyder, 16) Replaces Nolan's faux-realism with fascistic nihilism, exposing a decade of genre bullshit...a...good movie.

fuck this spoiler nonsense, can people who spent money on this horseshit please spoil it for me and everyone else? I just want highlights for cultural cache.

― ulysses, Friday, March 25, 2016 4:16 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ok, you have been warned! (spoilers below)

*the reason Batman and Supes start fighting is cos Lex kidnapped Supes' mom
*the reason they stop fighting is Supes says "save Martha" which is also Batman's mom's name and he wonders why he's saying that. once he realizes his mom is kidnapped he suddenly joins Supes for no good reason.
*Batman kills a lot of dudes in this one, at one point just to steal Kryptonite so he can kill Superman
*Batman's reason for killing Superman = "he could kill us all, and even if there's a 1% threat of that happening, you have to eliminate it"
*all Perry does is bitch that Clark Kent wrote nothing about the football team
*at one point Batman has a nightmare that he's losing a war to a bunch of insect-men with Supermen logo on their clothing

ok i think i have to see this movie even though i know it won't even be enjoyably batshit

oh and the Senate has hearings about Superman - hmmm does that sound familiar?

why are batman and superman fighting over martha kent? Luthor is blackmailing superman to fight him?

do they give the "1% thread" argument any real support? Is this whole thing a hamfisted metaphor for homeland security? or is it just action figures go bang bang now we fight cuz it's in the title?

MORE SPOILERS
http://www.vulture.com/2016/03/batman-v-superman-jimmy-olsen-dead.html

a quick readthru of the martha wayne wiki-entry suggests few characters have ever been retconned so confusingly and stupidly
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martha_Wayne

Morrison chief amongst the plaintiffs named

In Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne #5, the detective hired by the Kanes to investigate Martha Wayne's murder is revealed as Batman himself, turned amnesiac as he leaps through time under Darkseid's Omega Effect. His 'investigations' are influenced by the Black Glove organization as they attempt to use him as a sacrifice in a ritual while planting evidence to frame the Wayne family for debauchery.

do they give the "1% thread" argument any real support?

even Alfred chastises him and says "He (Superman) is not our enemy", and that's when Wayne pulls out the whole "ehh man, but he could be one day, and do we want to take that chance" BS, which really kinda sounded like a Ted Cruz-ism.

yet Batman isn't left or right wing, he's just, well, dumb.

Ulysses, check out that birthmoviesdeath link I posted upthread, that gets into a lot of it.

http://www.cinemablend.com/m/new/Batman-V-Superman-Drops-Another-Darkseid-Hint-See-It-Now-108197.html

There's something amusing in the fact that WB/DC uses their attempt to hotshot their own Avengers flick by hinting at their cosmic mega villain coming in a future installment, said villain being a Thanos-level dude who Jim Starlin just xeroxed Thanos from originally.

Also, if Darkseid is coming, can we look forward to more New Gods/Fourth World/Apokalips stuff? Will these guys be able to beat GotG at getting pure uncut Kirby cosmic jive onscreen?

at one point Batman has a nightmare that he's losing a war to a bunch of insect-men with Supermen logo on their clothing

...or apparently what kingfish just sent. sounds dumb as hell imo.

Xpost

why are batman and superman fighting over martha kent? Luthor is blackmailing superman to fight him?

Batman's already trying to procure kryptonite by this point, because he sees Supes as a threat (as Lex Luthor has framed him as being responsible for the deaths of several people in a foreign country). He steals the kryptonite from Lex himself.

but you see, this is what he wanted all along! Lex kidnaps Martha Kent and says he will kill her if Supes doesn't kill Batman in an hour's time. all while creating the monster in the ruins of the Kryptonian spaceship by merely bleeding on the dead Zod.

Lex's motivations make no sense, I gave up trying to figure out what he was doing.

this is all "super" helpful, thanks.

all would be forgiven if they did a mister miracle and barda movie that didn't suck

possibly, and that's where not being a comics expert hurt me, because it was such an abrupt sequence that unless I'd read them, I had no idea what was going on.

there are at least three action sequences that turn out to be mere "nightmares".

xxpost

I want the BOOOM TUUUBE

http://kirbymuseum.org/blogs/365fourth/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2010/12/SuperWarNG2pg14_sml2.jpg

fuck this movie, let's just post kirby pages.
http://www.comicbookbrain.com/_imagery/2015-08-28/female-furies-1400-jack-kirby-artwork.jpg

http://www.hoodedutilitarian.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/162.jpg

Not long after Bruce Wayne's grim introduction, we catch up with Man of Steel's Lois Lane (Amy Adams), who has traveled to Africa to interview a suspected terrorist. She's accompanied by a photographer (played by The OC's Michael Cassidy), but while Lois is busy peppering the terrorist with questions, a henchman confiscates the shutterbug's camera, exposes the roll of film, and finds a tracking device hidden deep inside the camera. That surprise prompts another reveal — the photographer admits that he's actually a CIA agent using Lois's trip to gather secret intel — and, quickly, the entire encounter goes south: The terrorist becomes enraged, Lois is taken hostage, and the photographer-cum-secret-agent is executed with a point-blank gunshot to the head.

lol every thing i read about this movie's plot sounds like the dumbest thing ever. this is nonsense on the level with some of Chuck Norris's mid-80s Cannon films.

We have like, what, less than 12 hours before the deluge of thunkpieces hit about the return of fascist imagery roping in both this movie and the Trump campaign?

Or will most wait to tie it into reporting whatever the boxoffice take is on Monday?

Armond seems to love it. no Trump but lots of 9/11

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/433246/batman-v-superman-culture-war-gets-mythic

Snyder is ... gifted with a signature erotic touch

never change Armond

XPS I guess smashing an SD card is out of the question.

jesse eisenberg was a catastrophically poor luthor but I did feel a little bit bad for him that he had to shave his head for a total of like 90 seconds of onscreen baldness

haha yeah, all that for a moment that didn't even pay off.

how many people does batman kill in this one? gotta be at least 25, right?

can't remember the last movie I saw that had more dream sequences than this does

the whole terrible superghazi subplot

what the hell was that all about

I'm enjoying the increasingly negative reviews this is drawing:

http://www.pajiba.com/film_reviews/ive-never-hated-anything-the-way-i-hate-batman-v-superman-dawn-of-justice.php

It seems a proper magnitude in light of how very wrong the actual mindset of the film is

xpost Batman killed most of the people in that vehicle he attacked to get the kryptonite that Lex probably woulda just given him if he said "hey let's team up mate".

also shot quite a few but I can't remember how many were real sequences

it's funny cos all my pals who liked it are going nuts saying "wow guys, I have NO IDEA why this is inspiring so much hate, geez it's just a movie", as if people are asking for Zack Snyder's execution.

More Kirby please

xpost (to be fair, I am asking for that)

I was gonna say

https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cache-ec0.pinimg.com%2F736x%2Fcd%2F4b%2Fd3%2Fcd4bd3e84d8b771a5fdb3bda80a62d08.jpg&f=1

:)

Who was it DC had erase & re-draw Supes' face whenever Kirby drew him in the Jimmy Olsen book? Was it Curt Swan?

yeah it was Swan

i kinda loled when everybody cheered when Wonder Woman showed up cos I'm like, dudes, you've seen that footage for 5 consecutive months

https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.the-isb.com%2Fimages%2FBatmanKirby.jpg&f=1

https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2F736x%2F1c%2F3a%2Fa5%2F1c3aa51dba6b9a662addd089132f3a0f.jpg&f=1

oh, that dialogue

dig it

Supe get hep

BROTHER

Ok this is hilarious

http://birthmoviesdeath.com/2016/03/25/zack-snyder-explains-the-shocking-thing-he-did-to-a-beloved-dc-character

lol he gets killed offscreen too.

the scene was basically a fish out of water, it belonged in Iron Man

i lolled hard that the very first thing lois says to her interviewee is 'are you a terrorist?' way to build a rapport with your subject, lane

also perry white is the worst editor in the history of newspapers

I enjoyed Fishburn in this. He seemed to be one of the only actors trying to have any fun