itt: consternation and wailing about Zach Snyder's upcoming SUPERMAN/BATMAN film/sequel to MAN OF STEEL -- official title: BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

honestly i don't trust any review of this film that doesn't have variant of the phrase "piece of shit" in it

how can I convince my kid to not drag me to this? we're rewatching xmen movies instead this week, even at their very worst they are better than this is going to be

Get food poisoning

pretend to be dying, tell your child this is the last 72 hours you will spend with him/her

Most of the (very few) positive reviews I'm seeing are hedged positives. Lots of raves about Affleck and Gadot. Lots of boos about Eisenberg and Doomsday. Nobody saying anything about Cavill. Overlong, meandering, humorless. Unsurprising.

About the 'meandering': I watched a video last week where someone tried to put all of the then-available footage in chronological order, and this thing looks like it must have about eight or nine acts. Remains to be seen if it out-"Hey, here's this guy! Now here's this gal! And here's a guy you haven't seen before!"-s X-Men: The Last Stand.

Imagine Affleck, standing shirtless in a dungeon, repeatedly thumping a bus tyre with a sledgehammer. Got it? Good: that’s not just what the film feels like, it’s a real scene from it. And that’s all you need to know.

Is Lobo in this?

Someone compared Doomsday to a flying turd, made me think if Godzilla's nemesis the Smog Monster.

No one likes Jesse, supposedly he is so annoying you want the two heroes to team up just to kick his ass. And I guess Wonder Woman is more or less literally just dropped in at the end?

It's like Poochie's end but in reverse.

Who wants some more fun Q&A? You do!

http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2016/03/21/zack-snyder-on-how-batman-v-superman-is-like-watchmen/

So many choice quotes!

if the reaction to the last Superman film was so meh, why were (some) people expecting this to be any good?

Because Batman, I guess?

because nerds

lol at snyder trying to out-beefcake henry cavill in the first pic in that story

http://si.wsj.net/public/resources/images/BN-NE348_snyder_J_20160321100438.jpg

cavill looks like he really resents having to smell Snyder's farts in that photo

also "Gym Jones" ugh I stab you

this is a good takedown, makes the whole thing sounds awful. also mild spoilers therein

http://www.timeout.com/us/film/batman-v-superman-dawn-of-justice

I hate this whole "grown up" superhero = a dumber and more violent superhero position of his. if it wasn't already obvious.

cavill looks like he really resents having to smell Snyder's farts in that photo

Isn't that Cavill's default facial expression, though?

http://chainsawsuit.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/20160323_batmanvsuperman.png

OMG SNYDER IS JUST THE DUMBEST MOTHERFUCKER

"I mean, they hung people on meathooks in Texas Chainsaw Massacre. So I don't see why anyone should be upset when Supeman does that in my movie. Geez, lighten up."

Sorry, sorry, I actually meant OMG DC/WB ARE THE DUMBEST MOTHERFUCKERS FOR LETTING THIS DUMB MOTHERFUCKER FUCK UP THEIR 80-YEAR-OLD PROPERTIES

lol @ Batman using a gun and killing people in this smdh

p sure this anigif is better than the whole movie

https://twitter.com/ideaypiensa/status/712667666054529026

Here we have a Batman (Ben Affleck) with a slightly more flexible stance on guns and murder; he’s introduced literally branding his insignia on a sex trafficker—a mark, we’re told, that will get the criminal killed in prison.

Given that Batman in this movie is, I guess, based loosely on The Dark Knight Returns, it's not that out of character for him to kill people. But why would that version of the character, with all its attendant baggage, be your go-to unless you were actually adapting The Dark Knight Returns?

does he actually kill anyone in DKR?

I'm struggling to remember, but I think he doesn't. He definitely neglects to kill the Joker when he has the chance.

and then the Joker twists his own head off. Miller kind of having his cake and eating it there

He fires on the Mutant gang with tank-mounted weaponry. I remember the Dallas Fantasy Fair panel in 1986 when he argued that that doesn't necessarily mean anybody died, and Gary Groth was all "oh, come ON." Even Miller's supporters did some eye-rolling and groaning.

and then the Joker twists his own head off. Miller kind of having his cake and eating it there

reluctant as I am to defend miller, isn't that so Batman will get blamed for his murder, even though he didn't do it?

idk, looks like the Mutants blew themselves up

advantage: Miller

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sOz2ctwhDw0/TzM92Um5TjI/AAAAAAAAASo/V6_wcc6OAQM/s1600/batmobile2.gif

yeah James, but the Joker's head still gets twisted off

lol I just checked a PDF and when Batman opens fire on the mutants there's a thought caption that says Rubber bullets. Honest

Ha! I haven't read it for 20 years and I remember that caption.

IIRC the pacing and design of that comic are extraordinary but Miller's /ideas/ are pretty awful. Goes without saying that the latter is what the new movie appears to have borrowed above all.

His ideas are p reactionary. At the same time he does maintain the pretense that batman doesnt kill (or use real bullets lol)

here's the full vid of that superman on unicycle bit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Yo0MGR2kmA

His ideas are p reactionary. At the same time he does maintain the pretense that batman doesnt kill (or use real bullets lol)

― Οὖτις, Wednesday, March 23, 2016 9:04 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

right, it always seemed like just that -- a pretense, no doubt demanded by DC editors.

Batman doesn't kill, he just puts people on Long Term Disability

http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/1/11352/1358763-8_27_2010_3_47_37_pm.jpg

AT THE TAXPAYERS EXPENSE

I think ima get fucked up before seeing this tomorrow

Isnt future batman wayne's kid or something?

Xp

one of 'em

Bruce is a ho?

lol you guys scandalized by Snyder is a riot... anyone who goes to these movies after college has a not so deeply buried Randian in em

Jeremy Irons joins Caine in future web obit "Alfred Dies"

It's sad he was a Sotosyn

i'm pretty confident i will never see this movie. i only ever watched the recent spate of superhero movies out of vague professional obligation, and i abandoned even that a few years ago.

also, nobody's "scandalized." it's just easy and fun to ridicule this guy and the seemingly awful movies he makes.