Chicago: Malort Cocktail

i am basically DLing 8GB of video at the moment

I am trying not to read this thread because I am somewhere in the middle of season 2 of BSG and I fear spoilers. It is hard.

Yeah, I may want to watch it, too. I didn't even read the Obama article in last week's Onion.

There is only one really spoilery thing here, and Dr. Johnson, it is of something that you already know about if you are in the midst of season 2.

Definitely wise to avoid that Onion article, though.

Okay. I have actually been unable to totally 100% get into BSG as of yet, perhaps because my girlfriend won't watch it. I feel like I just need to take a whole day and watch like 4 dvds worth or something.

girlfriends are lame

I thought Jeff posted that too!

srsly do you even read past the first few words anyone writes

seriously i didn't actually think jeff posted it
i meant that before i reached your username i thought "jeff"

i apologoze for any inconvenience

Yes, to be fair, it was awfully Jeff-like.

And I, like Jesse, thought "Jeff" until I read a bit further and realized it was not Jeff.

going forward please identify yourselves at the beginning of a post

you first

YES

I have an interview back at the Pr3ss next week.

Awesome, congrats.

Alright Dan!!!

I have to write an order denying a petition for attorneys' fees, and I have to reference three different petitions and two different hearings attended by three different attorneys from the same firm, and it's not entirely clear which of the three attorneys performed or failed to perform which actions that, taken as a whole, lead to the decision to deny the petition for fees and the end result is that I am going into a passive voice coma.

A passive voice coma is being entered by me.

Also it's funny how saying, "Again, no evidence was offered in support of the motion" is kind of neutral, but if you say, "Once again, no evidence was offered in support of the motion" it's kind of like a little implied FU.

Actually I think "again" is a little FU by itself, and "once again" is a touch too far.

Like you're taking your FU and putting a frilly little hat on it.

LOLyers: Putting frilly little hats on FUs since 753 BC.

kenan will you tell me about your screen name? i am amused by it.

xxpost My friend D. and I have freakin' epic arguments about exactly that kind of thing. It's even more fun on Skype, what with the shaky sound tech and things misheard. Last night he mumbled something about the copy we were editing that I didn't hear very well, and then he said "Oh, nevermind," and then I insisted he repeat it because I didn't hear it well, and then I mercilessly tore his sentence a new one, and then he got mad at me for making him repeat it when he'd already told me to ignore it.

Good times.

It reminds me of the Vic Chestnutt song "Doubting Woman" on Is The Actor Happy?:
i was supposed to tell you about the point of departure
but with the aim of a drunken archer
i will probably stray
but you can see in her bold eyebrow
you can see in that fancy cup
that even her freakish nipples are akimbo

kenan will you tell me about your screen name? i am amused by it.

heh, I'm glad. So am I.

It came from this thread: Chuck Asay died for your sins: batshit rightwing cartoonists 2009

But I kept it because it reminds me of the Carlin "7 dirty words" routine, where he points out that the word "tits" doesn't belong on the list at all.

It seems like such a friendly word. Sounds like a nickname. "Hey Tits, come here man! Tits! Meet my friend Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots."

jenny say "here we go again with the lack of evidence." then you'll sound like my boss (Ll66y)

Xp LOL her tits!!

Jesse, that thread is good and you should read it.

xp They are indeed akimbo. No better word that I know for what those tits are.

Also:

Malort Cocktail:
the local drink,
and all she wants to do is dance dance dance.

Mix 'em right
in the kitchen sink
and all she wants to do is, all she wants to do is dance.

And make romance.

Which tastes worse: Malort vs. Don Henley

Body shots of Malort off Don Henley's abs

Then sit in a bathtub and cry and scrub until your skin bleeds

Would it not be fun to go to Bar Chicago or wherever and buy drunk folks shots of Malort and watch their reaction?

(without giving any preface)

That would be a lot of fun, actually. Especially with a bit of flash photography.

Actually, the best people to spring it on are non-drunk folks. When I had my first shot of Malort, (thanks to Jenny, Jeff, and Jesse) I was already too drunk to be appropriately horrified.

My favorite reaction was from one of Jesse's interns back in the day, wherein he tried SO HARD to look like he was totally cool with Malort when it was pretty clear that he was, indeed, not cool with Malort in the least, that he came across like a complete tool.

Here's an idea, and you know I'm not normally a prankster: we go to Trader Todd's, the karaoke 7-nights-a-week place near Belmont/Sheffield, and while people are singing onstage hand them a shot of Malort.

sometimes at the green mill someone will buy the band a tray of shots, and a tiny part of my is always suspicious of sabotage via malort

the stealth onstage shot is a good idea

*files information away for later*

imagine, though, if we had given the virgin mary woman one of those

i honestly don't think she would have noticed

She made my year.

the stealth onstage shot is a good idea

Totally! Nobody would turn it down, and yet it would taste just as bad. So they would have to deal with Malort very publicly.

That's a GREAT idea, now that I think on it.

But maybe not... it wouldn't work more than once.

evil!

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3336/3245622763_375ed490f9.jpg

lol

this might necessitate a quick exit, or at the very least a make-up drink of the singer's choice