another maniacal Armond White review, this time "Fahrenheit 9/11"

In 13 Hours, these living breathing G.I. Joes are more than just politically correct, they’re also anatomically correct dolls.

that might be my favorite Armond review yet

"government-issued sexiness"

if that ran on national review's site the response would be "interesting"

Zac Efron gives Armond a boner

The fun of sex is the entire point of the raunchy, goofy Dirty Grandpa. You have to be humorless (and sex-averse) to be offended by its deliberate naughtiness as so many critics have demonstrated. Director Dan Mazer and screenwriter John Phillips are in the long, if disreputable, tradition of porn meisters whose vulgarity opens the way for gay identification and solidarity. Dermot Mulroney, in a small role as Zac’s father, acknowledges fans of his sensual profile (that phallic proboscis) in a skit where he is tattooed with penis graffito. His punchline: “Let me get these cocks off my face.”

oh man, Dermot and Zac as dad/son, impure as it gets.

AW has p unimpeachable taste in film beefcake.

that phallic proboscis.

Channing Tatum's Gene Kelly act gives Armond a boner

I won't click on it yet but, yeah, that sequence was sexy.

as good as anything I saw in the Magic Mikes

(Too bad the song itself lacks the naughtiness of Seth MacFarlane’s gay jokes on Family Guy.)

the line must be drawn here

Fetish geared superheroes give Armond a boner

he probably really wanted to fuck the CGI monster

Armond defends Last Tango in Paris as only Armond can

In 2016, Jeanne’s privilege has become an onerous political tool, favored by the new cultural fascists. Accusations of rape and male aggression have become routine in attacks on masculinity and patriarchy that criminalize everyone from Thomas Jefferson to Bill Cosby and now Bertolucci and Brando.

Creep.

It's predictable that this is where his escalating insanity would lead.

God forbid we criminalize rapists.

"that die-hard hetero pimp Ingmar Bergman"

few things make me more angry than the first paragraph of this piece.

one paragraph after calling people idiots, he makes the inductive leap that because Schneider agreed to be in the film, she agreed to the improvised sex act in question and hey what's a little sexual assault when it led to a movie that's so important, guys!

"it was simulated, therefore it can't be sexual assault!", thanks for clearing that up dude.

(Hollywood’s casting couch continues to exploit men, women, and children.)

Disappointed this sentence doesn't continue with the words, "as explored on Jason Reitman's masterpiece of the same name."

The film was rated X for a reason now lost to our craven film culture—Last Tango is cautionary, not a movie for children or for childish adults.

It was rated X for the same reason a lot of films got that rating--because there's a lot of graphic nudity and sex (and a rape scene) in it.

naw man, it was the scary, alternative ideas!

In fairness, I'm with him on the infantalization of film culture, by as usual, any time Armand seems to be headed somewhere thoughtful or reasonable, he blows it. Citing a serial rapist as a victim of PC thuggery is just the most extreme possible example.

if someone makes a movie about Patty Hearst, we can look forward to "Patty wasn't abducted by the Symbionese Liberation Army. She was freed."

"She was freed; it is the hateful weaponization of politics, epitomized by today's so-called 'feminists,' that have turned a story off personal liberty that Jefferson would have recognized into a symbol of liberal servitude."

omg

Now I'm curious if he reviewed Paul Schrader's Patty Hearst (which I haven't seen, but which feels like a potentially interesting combination of director and subject).

he made this mention of it...

"he method resembles Paul Schrader's tabloid spiritualism in Hardcore, American Gigolo and especially Patty Hearst, which veered off into lonely psychosis (and some critics prefer that detachment from realities of class and sex competition)."

This Out-National Review twin beat is amazing:

http://www.out.com/armond-white/2016/12/09/la-la-land-not-gay-enough

Note to Gosling fans: Your erection does not translate as charmed.)

is this even semantically correct?

When Mia and Sebastian sing and dance, they’re never melodious or graceful; they’re craven careerists and they hoof like amateurs.

Yes to the second point, but what about them, their hoofing, or amelodiousness translates as craven or careerist?

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/445206/jordan-peeles-get-out-trite-get-whitey-movie

Get Out does not rank with America’s notable race comedies — Brian De Palma’s Hi, Mom!, Ossie Davis’s Gone Are the Days! (Purlie Victorious), Robert Downey Sr.’s Putney Swope, Melvin Van Peebles’s Sweet Sweetback, Hal Ashby’s The Landlord, Rusty Cundieff’s Fear of a Black Hat, Skin Game or any of the genre spoofs by the Wayans family, particularly the ingenious Little Man, or the recent Eddie Murphy films (The Klumps, Norbit, Meet Dave, A Thousand Words) that are so personal and ingenious, they transcend racial categorization.

But unlike Eddie Murphy, a masterful actor with a mature sense of humor, Peele fails because has not created credible characters.

Get Out was actually awesome

arguably even more 0___0 than his endless adjectives for '00s eddie murphy

Get Out is an attenuated comedy sketch in which serious concerns are debased. Pushing buttons that alarm blacks yet charm white liberals, Peele manipulates the Trayvon Martin myth the same way Obama himself did when he pandered by saying, “Trayvon Martin could have been my son.” That disingenuous tease is extended in Peele’s casting of Daniel Kaluuya. Son of Ugandan parents, the handsome, round-faced, British-born actor triggers sympathy (he has the young, clean-cut buppie co-ed look that brothers Branford and Wynton Marsalis rocked in the ’80s).

But Kaluuya’s strongest historical associations must come from Peele’s subconscious: The actor’s dark-skin/bright-teeth image inadvertently recalls the old Sambo archetype. Kaluuya frequently goes from sleepy-eyed stress to bug-eyed fright. Surely Spike Lee would have recognized the resemblance to Stepin Fetchit, Mantan Moreland, and Willie Best, the infamous comics who made their living performing Negro caricatures during Hollywood’s era of segregation. Peele seems too caught up in exploiting modern narcissism to notice old repulsion. Sambo lives matter. Question: Will Kaluuya’s wild-eyed consternation be equated with James Baldwin’s bug-eye perspicacity in I Am Not Your Negro?

... Wow

Answer?

@NickPinkerton
Realize that the problem with Armond has nothing to do with his politics and everything to do with his calling Naruse "minor" in 2010.

Armond White, who some will remember as the 90s/00s magnificently trolly film critic of the New York Press, has gone FULL alt-right pic.twitter.com/1z2P92cHoe

— Joe Bernstein (@Bernstein) May 31, 2017

these hastily thrown together screenshots from various tweets with no context given certainly make this a open shut case

oh come the fuck on

tho it's not even remotely surprising that white is an alt-righter

i mean literally the first review in this thread is titled "film of the fascist liberal"

i agree w you 100%. just making fun of a tweet of a collage of screenshots of tweets. screenshot that review and post it next to some damning icons.

i thought Michael Moore was gen held in contempt around here

Better pundit than filmmaker

i never get tired of opening up this thread and stumbling on this line:

As Kevin Costner worried in JFK, we are indeed through the looking glass now.

fuck yeah!

I, like most Americans, refuse to participate in La La Land.

— armond white (@3xchair) June 4, 2017

Here's to the dreamers.

* Armond runs to pay phone to call ICE *