ILX quoted out of context

my approach to attempted ILX cockslaps from now on will be to contemplate the insecurities of the would-be cockslapper with a warm glow upon my chest

-- Just got offed, Sunday, 1 June 2008 10:45 (57 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

i am going to go touch it to make sure that i am not in the last hallucinatory death throes. will report back.

-- John Justen, Tuesday, June 3, 2008 3:07 AM (4 hours ago)

wau this idiot nokia phone knows masturbation but not custard

-- Autumn Almanac, Friday, June 6, 2008 2:09 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

the hairballs depart the other end of the cat.

-- Jaq, Friday, June 6, 2008 1:14 AM (15 hours ago) Bookmark Link

i'll look into it!

-- latebloomer, Friday, June 6, 2008 1:15 AM (15 hours ago) Bookmark Link

mom?

-- Kerm, Sunday, June 8, 2008 1:47 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

yes come over here and lik my balls lil kermy

-- jhøshea, Sunday, June 8, 2008 1:48 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

hi-ho, kermy the perverted little frog here

I found myself the other day missing my JERKER (OOP)

-- El Tomboto, Friday, June 20, 2008 3:30 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Would be nice to see it in the water again, but I guess that won't happen. :/

-- Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 16:23 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

Hookers are like pineapple, is what I'm getting at.

-- kenan, Saturday, June 28, 2008 5:07 PM (Saturday, June 28, 2008 5:07 PM) Bookmark Link

CMON FUCK A GUY

-- banriquit, Monday, June 30, 2008 5:30 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

was having trouble deciding whether I'd prefer jen to go ASAP or have dale, stu, bex and luke go one by one leaving jen. had decided jen ASAP and was hoping for her to be up against rex as it will be good for housemates to have see sylvia go over mohamed and now jen go over rex

-- conrad, Wednesday, 2 July 2008 00:51 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I've been feeling schlong all year, but I don't know where I'd be without nob, so I'm'a vote for that.

-- Noodle Vague, Tuesday, July 8, 2008 3:37 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I will be stuffing those machines for all they're worth.

-- Dr Morbius, Wednesday, July 9, 2008 12:41 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

if my sandy vagina is clouding my vision then i must be mistaken.

-- cutty, Thursday, July 10, 2008 5:31 PM (1 hour ago)

at least that link has good photos of the Johnson Treatment.

-- Dr Morbius, Friday, July 11, 2008 3:01 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

emptying an entire half-box into your mouf all at once, then trying not to pucker too violently?

-- kingfish, Tuesday, July 15, 2008 4:08 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Link

this sandwich right now is like josh hamilton last night

-- max, Tuesday, July 15, 2008 7:30 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

man i think surmounter just drove a truth truck through my rotting old barn of regrets

-- Just got offed, Wednesday, July 16, 2008 4:39 PM (56 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

"fuck me anyone can"

-- El Tomboto, Wednesday, July 16, 2008 10:46 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Yup, that's my dad in a nutshell. "Wine, women, song, and UNIX CAN SUCK A BIG BAG O DIXORS!!!"
-- Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, August 16, 2004 7:08 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

i'm on the fence when it comes to oscillating in the bedroom. i like it but sometimes you just need the thing right on you.

-- Surmounter, Sunday, 3 August 2008 16:56 (2 hours ago) Link

This one time I was so drunk that I fluffed the preamble and blew the punchline

-- DJ Mencap, Monday, August 4, 2008 1:56 PM (41 seconds ago)

hahahaha Ned, go back to the original thread

I already saw that! Great minds, etc.

cheating slightly:

I'll watch Shatner try to pull one off.
Especially a gender switch.

-- Trip Maker, Monday, 4 August 2008 21:49 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

"man i think surmounter just drove a truth truck through my rotting old barn of regrets"

ha ha i love this

I'm the one massaging the shark with the small dowel

-- Stevie D, Friday, August 1, 2008 11:35 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Link

ned, i can't afford condoms right now.
-- erico b. rakimington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so jerk off into a towel instead?
-- Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 Bookmark Link

That's out of context?

i think thats a zing

i'd recommend putting unlubricated condoms on the dog's feet (and tail, just to be safe), holding them in place with elastic bands.

-- remy bean

I was beside myself when Mozzer whipped it out in concert last year.

-- Johnny Fever, Monday, September 1, 2008 7:25 AM (Monday, September 1, 2008 7:25 AM) Bookmark Link

Yeah, but does it count as "doing" it? ;)

― so glitchy (kenan), Monday, September 15, 2008 8:51 AM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Oh god yes, I know it, I've caught it by accident several times.

― the usual olfactory abuse (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 17 September 2008 17:00 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark

I mean Guy Garvey is NOT fucking Burt Bacharach!!

― A. FIND MISSING LINK B. PUT IT TOGETHER C. BANG! (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, October 9, 2008 10:10 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark

in the office, i'm not doing it in my pants.

except on fridays.

― grimly fiendish, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 02:02 (1 year ago)

pretty sure there is a limit on size. why you gotta try and break the law? also, excellent post by pappawheelie.

― TOMBOT, Saturday, 18 October 2008 05:42 (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i just have a sleeve and use it in whatever

― the valves of houston (gbx), Wednesday, 22 October 2008 00:03 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Has nobody actually explained what "don't ask, don't tell" is?

― nabisco, Wednesday, October 22, 2008 1:22 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yes, it has been covered.

― caek, Wednesday, October 22, 2008 1:22 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

It's just like American QVC! (I have seen both!)

― caek, Wednesday, October 22, 2008 1:23 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

oh laurel that's a really great picture of you! also boobz pic is awesome.

― ian, Tuesday, November 4, 2008 5:07 AM (11 hours ago) Bookmark

This very question was posed to the readers of Women's Health last month. Next time I make a trip to the bathroom I will do a little research and report back with results.

― z "R" s (Z S), Monday, 10 November 2008 11:16 (1 minute ago) Bookmark

So hard to POO.

― gnarly sceptre, Friday, July 4, 2008 2:20 AM (4 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this was a good revive too:

she fucked prodigy from mobb deep

― _, Friday, November 11, 2005 1:00 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― and what, Wednesday, November 12, 2008 12:36 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

daniel craig did this too

― lex pretend, Wednesday, November 12, 2008 12:38 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i thought the martian anus was pretty cool

― balloon in a sack (latebloomer), Wednesday, November 12, 2008 3:17 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark

where do i get some in oakland

― i hope you don't pray to jesus with that mouth (Rubyredd), Thursday, November 20, 2008 2:09 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Where is "Christopher Walken"?

― Black Seinfeld (HI DERE), Thursday, November 13, 2008 2:15 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark

Being from an academic background, Ben hasn't quite figured out what he's supposed to do with it yet.

Can I touch your...stuff?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:51 (3 years ago)

don't touch my stuff!

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:54 (3 years ago)

Bitter? Me? Oh Nooooo! Not at all!!!

― Geir Hongro, Saturday, March 24, 2007 11:32 PM (1 year ago)

haha I mean climax not movie

― "I Like My Hogen-Mogen" (nickalicious), Wednesday, December 24, 2008 6:49 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink