woody allen

Unless that's the title of his next movie, I ain't queueing.

Blue Jasmine (2013) features brilliant performances from an outstanding cast.

this reads like a good essay for a college film class

i would've settled for 'features brilliant performances by Sally Hawkins and Andrew Dice Clay.'

possible finest standup moment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SkZA0FKmAw

Starrying Miley & May:

http://deadline.com/2016/01/woody-allen-miley-cyrus-elaine-may-amazon-series-1201690130/

*starring

ugh

barf

can't wait

i had no idea Elaine was still open to acting offers

Casting Miley Cyrus almost reads like trolling. But my guess is it isn't intentional.

i suspect he doesn't really know who she is, kinda like me

also i don't give a fuck, that teen queen who was in Altman's final film seemed to work out OK

yeah, putting a hypersexualized childlike star (and former child star) is definitely a total accident, I'm sure.

she was just hanging around the studio lot

yeah Woody has a "studio lot."

forgot the lynch mob was so large

that was a joke, son

wait are you actually anticipating this Morbz? cuz iirc you're just as harsh (actually maybe moreso) on Woody's post-2000 output as I am. Like, what is promising about this.

i was also semi-joking, but i do love Elaine May (and she was funny in Small Time Crooks), so i'd be curious to see if she's "got it" at 83.

you know, Ms Cyrus is 23. Did you think WA is going to fill his entire cast with octogenarians? Ellen Page was about 23 when she did that horrendous Rome movie with him, but i guess that's ok bcz she is a non-"hypersexualized" lesbian.

I don't get people being upset with Woody over this. 23 is pretty old for him, so it's an improvement considering the average age between him and his ideal sex partner is 44.

actually it's 63

I wonder if you left a kid to cool on a windowsill, would Woody Allen pick up the scent and float in the air towards it like in an old Hanna Barbera cartoon? I think so.

D-

Eh, that grade really belongs to Robert Smigel.

whose sock is larry appleton?

http://www.starwipe.com/article/weird-woody-allen-hires-overly-sexualized-girl-chi-1855

starwipe is so bad

nah it has it's moments

well that one ain't it

All North American rights, including theatrical and streaming, to Allen’s next film have been acquired by Amazon. (this is before the series)

weird. i never thought he would abandon celluloid.

the last one was shot digitally, i think? it's not like he had much of a choice, he doesn't do Nolan box office.

just googled it. looks like this is the first one to be shot digitally

http://variety.com/2015/film/news/woody-allen-digital-camera-movie-1201612893/

Lol at the philosophy class in irrational man. Every day a new philosopher is given the wikiquotes treatment.

I like joaquin phoenix in this, the beer belly and speech slurring and book about heidegger and fascism. Woody Allen movies could probably be written by a machine at this point.

"He's actually quite conservative, in a liberal way."

"I've never seen a de kooning in a private house"

"The truth was I was attracted to Abe despite, or was it because, he was a lost soul."

So much woody allen dialogue.

I noticed he directed it too.

"Despair is what Kierkegaard called the sickness unto death, Abe. And you suffer from despair."

It's just very mannered and shallow, even for him.

Last year, you seemed to regret embarking on a TV show. Do you still regret it?

It was much harder to do than I thought. I thought, "I'll sandwich this in between two films and knock it off. What's the big deal? It's tele­vision." But over the years, television has made enormous strides, and wonderful things are being done on television. And I found as soon as I started to get into the project, I couldn't bring myself to slough it off because this is not television of 50 years ago, where every silly thing was acceptable. You're working in a medium that has grown up and has got wonderful things being done in it, and, yes, you may prove to be an embarrassment, but you don't want to be a total embarrassment.

You don't watch those other great things on television? Mad Men, Breaking Bad?

I don't watch them. I'm not home. I don't have the incentive. I'm out having dinner with friends, and when I come home, I'm tired and I want to quickly see the last quarter of the Knick game or the last couple of innings of the Yankee game or the Mets game. I'm just not interested enough.

How about politics? Who are you supporting?

I'm a Hillary fan. I like Bernie very much. I think what he espouses is wonderful. But I think Hillary will get more done of what Bernie would like than Bernie could get done.

Have you met Hillary?

No. I've met Trump because he was in one of my movies, Celebrity. He's very affable, and I run into him at basketball games and at Lincoln Center. And he is always very nice and pleasant — [which is] hard to put together with many of the things he has said in his campaign.

I read that you once met Samuel Beckett.

I did. I chatted with him for five minutes at I think it was Les Deux Magots [a cafe in Paris]. I was there having coffee, and someone said: "Samuel Beckett is over there. Would you like to meet him?" And I said, "Sure," and I went over and we chatted for a little while. He was very nice. I was never a great Beckett fan. But I wanted to meet Jean-Paul Sartre. I wanted to do that, and someone connected with him said, "It can be arranged for a price."

You're joking!

No, no. I didn't follow up on that because the whole thing was too sinister for my psyche.

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/features/woody-allen-interview-he-wont-889678

haha, hilarious stuff!

wish he'd write some dialogue along those lines

Was weirded out by the part of that interview where he justifies his relationship with Soon-Yi by essentially saying "I taught her about the world. She was eating out of garbage cans at seven years old".

Was weirded out by the part of that interview where he justifies his relationship with Soon-Yi by essentially saying "I taught her about the world. She was eating out of garbage cans at seven years old".

hard to be more haplessly in-character than this:

So the contributions I've made to her life have given me more pleasure than all my films.

You're saying how you changed her. How has she changed you?

(Allen pauses.) Well, she's given me a lot of pleasure.

nopetopus.gif x1000

Woody really has no clue, does he? From the Soon-Yi stuff to the Miley Cyrus "That kid's a STAH! Big Talent! " to no engagement with the modern world as we know it ... It's crazy.