You could always just stage a wacky EOTS torture and dismemberment scenario over a number of days and then never have to worry about kowtowing to this scam ever again!
― The Featureless Mash That Was Once My Face (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 1 December 2015 05:22 (eight years ago) link
good luck, pp, I have a few magic-believing 12/13 yo students who are still freaked out they maybe killed elf on a shelf
― social justice warriors... come out to play (Abbott), Tuesday, 1 December 2015 05:26 (eight years ago) link
You're kidding me.
― pplains, Tuesday, 1 December 2015 05:37 (eight years ago) link
Afwiw, there is no elf in my house a surprisingly low number of shelves, all things considered.
― pplains, Tuesday, 1 December 2015 05:38 (eight years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/dCLxKCv.jpg
― pplains, Sunday, 20 December 2015 20:23 (eight years ago) link
s/emptily/creepily
― January 1, be the same sh!t as December 31 (snoball), Sunday, 20 December 2015 20:29 (eight years ago) link
Also, why is he holding his hands in front of his crotch like that?
― January 1, be the same sh!t as December 31 (snoball), Sunday, 20 December 2015 20:30 (eight years ago) link
Probably freak out your guests if they can see his erection.
― pplains, Sunday, 20 December 2015 20:42 (eight years ago) link
There's a rule when it comes to Elf on the Shelf: No touching.
That's why a 7-year-old Old Bridge, New Jersey girl panicked recently when she accidentally threw a ball and knocked over her Elf on a Shelf. Fearing that the Christmas magic was gone (that's an Elf on the Shelf rule, too) Isabelle LaPeruta made a desperate call to 911, NBC New York reported.
A 911 operator patiently told the frightened young girl that she can just explain she made a mistake and that no harm was done.
Police are required to visit a house where a child places a 911 call, however, even if it is just about a toppled elf. Once at the house, they found the girl in tears but were able to comfort her, according to Old Bridge Police Lt. Joseph Mandola.
"To her, it was an emergency when she touched the elf, and she's going to ruin Christmas, so that was her emergency," said Old Bridge Police Lt. Joseph Mandola. "In her mind, she did right, and it was fine with us."
The police said they girl apologized and won't call 911 again – unless it really is an emergency.
http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2015/12/girl_calls_911_after_knocking.html#
― pplains, Wednesday, 23 December 2015 12:57 (eight years ago) link
"We're happy that children are becoming more comfortable with notifying the authorities at the slightest indication on an aberration inside their household. Parents keep an eye on their kids, sure, but who keeps an eye on the parents?"
― pplains, Wednesday, 23 December 2015 12:58 (eight years ago) link
Related Elf on the Shelf Ideas & ResourcesElf on Shelf Ideas25 Days of Elf on the Shelf Ideas Elf on the Shelf Ideas for ArrivalElf on the Shelf dealsElf on the Shelf NamesElf on the Shelf Girl NamesElf on the Shelf Boy NamesJennifer’s Elf on the Shelf IdeasElf on the Shelf VideosElf on the Shelf Ideas: 51 Creative SuggestionsElf on the Shelf Ideas: 51 MORE Creative SuggestionsClothes for Elf on the ShelfElf on the Shelf AccessoriesAdd your own Elf on the Shelf Ideas and photos to our galleryView our Elf on the Shelf Ideas Pinterest AlbumElf on the Shelf Ideas for Adults ONLY!25 Funny Elf on the Shelf IdeasKindness Elf IdeasElf on the Shelf PrintablesElf on the Shelf PetsEasy Elf on the Shelf Ideas
― home organ, Wednesday, 23 December 2015 14:05 (eight years ago) link
http://dangerousminds.net/comments/fck_the_elf_on_the_shelf_heres_krampus_in_the_corner
― nickn, Thursday, 15 September 2016 04:30 (seven years ago) link
I... I thought this was a joke at first. Like a Liartown gag, but no, you can really buy this.
https://i.imgur.com/7KzHxSQ.jpg
https://www.amazon.com/Elf-Surveillance-Santa-Camera-Dummy/dp/B0773S4KXM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1511967511&sr=8-1&keywords=Elf+Surveillance+Dummy+CCTV+Camera
― pplains, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:02 (six years ago) link
why is it called "dummy child surveillance camera"?
(also: "elves behaving badly" -- indeed they are, spying is not very elfin at all! but this too seems a strange up-front admission)
― mark s, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:16 (six years ago) link
Because it's not a real camera - just a shiny black dome with a blinking red light.
I mean, a real surveillance camera - a cheap one - wouldn't cost much more than this thing.
One day the kids will discover they hadn't been recorded the whole time, a fake eye watching over them. Then their belief in Santa will disappear. Then they'll stop believing in God. Then they'll get caught shoplifting at Target because, hey who says those cameras are real anyway?
― pplains, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:25 (six years ago) link
https://www.askideas.com/media/16/One-Ear-Funny-Scared-Cat-Face.jpg
― mark s, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:29 (six years ago) link
i have never heard of this but it reminds me why i moved out of the united states
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:49 (six years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/uLqBRDu.jpg
― pplains, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:52 (six years ago) link
If I've learned anything from the movies this year, kids love festive charlatans holding red balloons.
if i saw that i would run screaming out of the goddamn house
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:57 (six years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/8nOJ4eK.jpg
"Daddy, it's hugging me too tight!"
― pplains, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:57 (six years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/98RZREq.png
Note to any social media marketers out there: When the comments on your post are nothing but people tagging other people, you have struck gold, my friends.
― pplains, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:59 (six years ago) link
Ok, Ronan Farrow. Good one.
https://i.imgur.com/EaZ02ci.jpg
Heroes.
https://i.imgur.com/6d2q87m.jpg
― pplains, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 16:00 (six years ago) link
That's all I've got... for now.
https://i.imgur.com/F0IXwoX.jpg
That dummy survelliance camera is just a ruse to get all the younguns USED to being MONITORED all the time so the MAN can get away with the ORWELLIAN STATE
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Wednesday, 29 November 2017 22:43 (six years ago) link
I love the picture of the kids jumping with joy that there's now a camera watching them
― Screamin' Jay Gould (The Yellow Kid), Wednesday, 29 November 2017 23:01 (six years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/j8fPh7U.jpg
― Karl Malone, Sunday, 3 December 2017 16:29 (six years ago) link
Poor guy
― El Tomboto, Sunday, 3 December 2017 19:12 (six years ago) link
Dinovember is what we do instead, we just have dinosaurs doing goofy stuff and causing "trouble" every morning she thinks it's cute
― Universal LULU Nation (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Sunday, 3 December 2017 19:24 (six years ago) link
Those kids are jumping for joy on the bed! This is a clear breach of household rule #34 and must be punished. Too bad they chose to enact their criminal deeds under the watchful eye of Dummy Surveillance Camera!
― A is for (Aimless), Sunday, 3 December 2017 20:35 (six years ago) link
https://www.thecut.com/2017/08/cognition-builders-family-intervention-parenting-help-adhd.html
― i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 3 December 2017 20:39 (six years ago) link
For God's sakes, let's not bring Rule #34 into this.
― pplains, Monday, 4 December 2017 01:14 (six years ago) link
At a friends house and who do i see walking in but this fux0r hanging from the curtain
― infinity (∞), Monday, 4 December 2017 01:16 (six years ago) link
That cognition builders story, wtf
― El Tomboto, Monday, 4 December 2017 12:36 (six years ago) link
(xps to Karl Malone) David Bowie's "The Barfing Gnome"
― Zings Can Only Get Better (snoball), Monday, 4 December 2017 18:27 (six years ago) link
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/120204164_625933848316217_1136268561088120593_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=vF540pjFlwkAX_5tWUG&_nc_ht=scontent-sjc3-1.xx&oh=5a2489bc23b23c98d8fc6a9f6572bfa7&oe=5F95BD90
When the link dies: An EotS skeleton made out of chicken bones, with barbecue sauce on it. Text: "The elf was delicious, had the cookies for dessert. Thanks! Santa"
― nickn, Friday, 25 September 2020 23:03 (three years ago) link
I guess that's ketchup, not BBQ sauce.
― nickn, Friday, 25 September 2020 23:04 (three years ago) link
For hope in national politics, one must still look toward Georgia:
Robert Leonard, a judge in metropolitan Atlanta, is doing what he can to stop the tyranny of the Christmas tradition of “Elf on the Shelf,” issuing an order banning the tiny creatures from sitting and spying, then dropping lumps of coal in the stockings of mischievous kids in Cobb County.
― pplains, Sunday, 7 November 2021 16:42 (two years ago) link
tackling the important issues
― When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 7 November 2021 16:50 (two years ago) link
He’s got my vote!
― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 7 November 2021 17:01 (two years ago) link
You will hide when I say you must hideElf on the Shelf
― peace, man, Sunday, 7 November 2021 19:01 (two years ago) link
I was born for spying!
― pplains, Sunday, 7 November 2021 20:21 (two years ago) link