a clown car full of millionaires: the 2016 presidential primary thread

xpost well yeah. God is going to shift the blue states into the Atlantic and then global warming will drown them.

@nytpolitics
Correction: Carson aides say he needs weekly foreign policy briefings to "make him smart"; didn't say he'd had them nyti.ms/1luGriz

zing

ha ha I need a gym membership to make me a hunk

Why does he need policy briefings to make himself smart? Isn't he a brain surgeon?

his aides are the best

also not very helpful apparently

he'd have to swallow some pride, but he really needs to have a private meeting with all of his campaign staff and ask them to please stop making fun of him in public

or he will stab them

maybe they threatened to stab him? i feel like something is wrong inside the carson campaign

https://twitter.com/mmurraypolitics/status/667009494195417088

Ted Cruz to Obama's criticism re Syrian refugees: "Come back and insult me to my face" -- just now to TV cameras

Oh I hope Obama invites him to the White House specifically to insult him

omg yes plz

xposts actually the ben carson campaign makes way more sense if you consider the possibility that people are attempting to stab each other behind the scenes.

Occam's razor (teehee)

"Senator Cruz, thanks for coming. You look like an underinflated Alfred E. Neuman."

My theory is that Carson is hiring former patients as campaign staffers.

Oh I hope Obama invites him to the White House specifically to insult him

― I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Wednesday, November 18, 2015 11:17 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

omg yes plz

― Οὖτις, Wednesday, November 18, 2015

pretty sure that at this point Obama would say stfu to his face

Obama did break the sacrosanct rule: Never criticize a Ted Cruz on Foreign Soil

i can't stop looking at that map

the best part is the new blue Armpit state it creates by combining Vermont and Delaware

WE'RE
SAYING
NO
to this reorganization of the United States into a totally different North East coast. NO THANKS OBAMA

Connecticut you mean.

I am deeply and genuinely interested in the process involved in fucking up that map. It makes no sense if it was intentional but I have no idea how it could've possibly been accidental.

Intentional sabotage by an insider?

Or as I'm starting to suspect, Carson's entire campaign is a prank that he keeps making more and more outrageous because he can't believe people are falling for it.

xpost sorry connecticut!

i wonder how carson is polling Armpitticut

That's what the northeast looks like now AFTER BEN STABBED IT IN THE BELT

How do you even generate a map like that? It's like a staffer who had never been to New England failed one of those "put the states in the right places" Facebook quizzes and screenshot it because they couldn't think of another way to find a map of the US.

if ben carson freehand drew that, I would be very very impressed but still ask why he didn't just GIS, cut, paste

that map is hilarious. also i personally wouldn't actually be able to draw New England without a map for reference.

hey if any of you geniuses know a better way to present information on a U.S. map other than individually creating each state border from scratch and then meticulously arranging 50 elements so that it all fits together into the shape of the United States, I'm all ears

Colorforms.

i suppose i would honestly be somewhat pressed to just NAME all 50 states on a map but then i am not a brain surgeon who is running for president

Is there a Cake Wrecks for politics?

PS if anyone knows a way to write sentences that doesn't involve tediously copying and pasting individual letters that i find from Googling (e.g., for this message I googled for "P" and then copied the first result I found that included one. Luckily google is pretty good so it didn't take long), I'm all ears for that as well. Putting together that last sentence took me 45 minutes (I started working on it before my last post)

I keep trying to write a coherent response but none of the letters I'm typing look right. Like, isn't a 'T' supposed to have two hoops and a little flame at the top? I wonder if one of my interns can hook me up with a non-broken keyboard.

I so want 'Ben Carson' to be a dadaist performance piece.

Until I hear otherwise, I've chosen to believe that Carson sat up all night personally Photoshopping that map. He's that dedicated to rewriting reality according to his whims.

Carson's around the same age as Andy Kaufman, isn't he? I mean I'm not saying but, you know, I'm just SAYING.

powerful

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CUHo_twWsAEFbRX.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/J025Q9a.gif

The Obama-Cruz series of posts above really made me laugh at work earlier today.

hey guys:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/ben-carson-my-plan-to-defeat-the-islamic-state/2015/11/17/46b9e254-8d45-11e5-ae1f-af46b7df8483_story.html

To lead this fight, the United States must dramatically increase its efforts to appeal directly to the moderate Kurds, Syrians and Iraqis. We must convince them that the Islamic State poses a fundamental threat to their existence.

hmmm I sort of think they may have figured this out already. have their been any signs of this, like maybe thousands of people fleeing the area? let me call my trusted ex-CIA advisors...

carson's advisors in the NYT remind me of an apologetic parent talking to a teacher on parent-teacher day. "yes, we know little susie is struggling with math. we're trying really hard at home, but she just has a real problem listening. also, we're really sorry if she's acting up in class."

this silent muslim majority of people who dont exist or dont give a fuck about us or our interests

Carson should have gotten a sideways dig in at Trump: "Believe me, my plans to defeat the Islamic State are effective."

"I've defeated the Islamic State before..."

"... and not just in a green room"

The five Radical Islams that I'm going to eliminate during my presidency are ISIS, Daesh, ISIL, the Islamic State, and ISIL.