a clown car full of millionaires: the 2016 presidential primary thread

I saw your bumper sticker

http://rlv.zcache.com.au/fidel_castro_bumper_sticker-r7db0dc39503b40b5abcb3290702dc656_v9wht_8byvr_324.jpg

http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/11/politics/ben-carson-would-not-abort-baby-hitler/index.html

this emergent issue is really the gift that keeps on giving, URL-wise

but as soon as it was born he would throttle that lil fucker

or maybe stab it, as long as it was not wearing any protective belt buckles

What if he could bring a present-day baby back in time, use his surgical skills to swap their brains, then return the Hitler-brained baby to our time, where any latent impulses to demagoguery would be suppressed by the experience of watching third-rate clowns like Trump and Cruz try their hand? Could be great for an AP Psychology project on the nature vs. nurture debate.

Picturing him in the delivery room with a machete. "He's crowning!"

We need to know where all the candidates stand on these important theoretical time-traveling infanticide issues.

In addition to being entertaining, it undercuts the Christie/Cruzian righteous indignation at stupid media questions: "The American People (tm) want to hear about the ISSUES that MATTER to THEM!"

Yeah, like whether American presidential candidates have jurisdiction in fin-de-siècle Austria-Hungary, and/or how they view the space-time continuum and causal paradoxes.

Baby Hitler is the new "boxers, or briefs?"

Oh, and whether you want to have a beer with a devout muslim teenage girl.

I know Lindsey has already indulged us on his own, but I fully expect Fuck/Marry/Kill to be incorporated into the discourse of the republican debates before long. And maybe a round of Would You Rather, capped off with some Truth Or Dare. By the time we get to the final debate, it will have devolved into recursive babbling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JmA2ClUvUY

Looks like a winning ticket. One-Sock Baby / Two-Sock Baby '16! Make America Poopy Again.

I have been getting a lot of junk e-mails from John Kasich

Ben Carson, a Republican presidential hopeful, on Wednesday blasted Democrats’ various plans for debt-free or tuition-free college, saying they would hasten “the destruction of the nation.”

Speaking at Liberty University, Carson warned against the dangers of uninformed voters who would believe “propaganda” from “unscrupulous politicians and news media.”

“If they don’t really understand the financial situation of the country and somebody comes along and says, ‘free college for everybody,’ they’ll say, ‘oh, what a wonderful person,’” Carson said. “They have no idea that all you’re talking about is hastening the destruction of the nation.
https://www.insidehighered.com/quicktakes/2015/11/12/free-college-would-destroy-nation-ben-carson-says

school bad money good

Speaking at Liberty University = Profile in Courage

http://theslot.jezebel.com/look-away-from-jeb-bush-trying-to-chest-bump-someone-t-1742103242

Weird, I doubt it would bankrupt our country *if* the education they receive is worthwhile. In fact it would probably be the opposite.

x-post

ah my neighborhood:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CToPL4TUcAEnK4y.jpg

What do they have against Slayer fans?

also, isn't that already an anti-Trump piece?

two Cuban-American Republicans fighting over who hates other Latinos more feels both totally predictable and bafflingly strange

xp

also, isn't that already an anti-Trump piece?

it obviously is, it's just been embellished

drawing dicks on things is the american way

Drawing dicks on things is the new flag pin. Look for candidates calling one another out for failing to do so.

Double credit for drawing Dick Cheney

So sucking dick with Slayer written across your forehead is a negative? Well there goes my Veterans Day celebration for next year.

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BxLqtxlIAAEH5Wc.jpg

^NSFanywhere really

looool

Bless you, forks. O brave intertubular world, in which if it can be imagined, someone has 'shopped it. Rule 34 and all. My nightmares are complete now.

http://news.yahoo.com/chris-christie-black-lives-matter-154347747.html

I assume he was *this* close to saying "black lives don't matter"

carson has his own intelligence apparatus in syria, damn

https://twitter.com/JohnJHarwood/status/664891597474111488

Great, article writer doesn't actually say if murder threats were a part or not. Maybe Christie thinks Tarantino is their main spokesman?

Tarantino hasn't called for the murder of cops either!

I know! However, ask every dickheaded police union spokesman of a major American city, and guess what they'll say

"that guy was resisting arrest"?

"there's a war on cops"?

GOP elites shocked that the GOP primary electorate likes the populist crazyballs candidates, round XVI

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/time-for-gop-panic-establishment-worried-carson-and-trump-might-win/2015/11/12/38ea88a6-895b-11e5-be8b-1ae2e4f50f76_story.html

Most sources attributed, this anonymous one was my favorite though. Hilary would not just win in a landslide vs. Trump or Carson but her Wall St. constituency would probably break her way too.

The apprehension among some party elites goes beyond electability, according to one Republican strategist who spoke on the condition of anonymity to talk candidly about the worries.

“We’re potentially careening down this road of nominating somebody who frankly isn’t fit to be president in terms of the basic ability and temperament to do the job,” this strategist said. “It’s not just that it could be somebody Hillary could destroy electorally, but what if Hillary hits a banana peel and this person becomes president?”

The Mario kart banana slip noise automatically emerged out of the ether when I read that

dickheaded police union spokesman

but i repeat myself...

How stupid are the people of Iowa?" Trump said. "How stupid are the people of the country to believe this crap?"

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2015/11/12/donald-trump-delivers-95-minute-rant-on-everything-thats-wrong-in-this-race

http://youtu.be/RDrfE9I8_hs

someone needs to get trump some watermelons, and a sledgehammer.

that china video is a lovely work of art

http://images.washingtonpost.com/%3Furl%3Dhttps%3A//img.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-politics/files/2015/11/Belt.gif%26op%3Dnoop

http://img.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-politics/files/2015/11/Belt.gif

Other Latinos

Guess this will text the theory that trump is gaffe proof

Test

He signed a book for an audience member and then threw it off the stage.

damn

Those two WaPo articles are appropriately bonkers. Prophesying a total "be careful what you wish for" GOP scenario, both for voters and for ... actually, Carson and "I'd rather be right and lose than wrong and win" or whatever he says Cruz seem so crazy they're unflappable. They're like Obi Wan deluded: if you strike me down I will be more powerful than ever, or whatever. Trump, I bet he'll keep campaigning even after he's out or loses, because no one will have the heart to tell him it's over.