a clown car full of millionaires: the 2016 presidential primary thread

now I'm suppose to keep track of which writers do fake articles (that are only "funny" if they're factual), with no other indication it's a joke, on an otherwise straight-news site?? dumb

Carson ad reminiscent of Rod Blagojevich's ad back in 2002(!)

oh man, just imagine being the studio singer on that one and having to wrap your vocal cords around "rod... blagojevich." you know, rhymes with... with...

Great essay on Jeb(!)

lol otm Granny

these candidates say ridiculous stuff all the time. if this is a comedy or opinion piece they need to make that clear.

if there is no difference between blogging and reporting on a "real news" site then i will stick w the onion thank you.

I remember some DJ had the 'Blagojevich' tag on a trigger for a while afterward. xxpost

Jeb!s new slogan isn't really doin it for me, should change it to Jeb! Will Kick Your Ass

or maybe Jeb!strong

i would totally talk to ben carson about the pyramids for an hour at borders

Guess who sent out this fundraising appeal today?

President Obama is chicken!

Yeah, I said it… because someone had to!

I’ve dealt with the liberal mainstream media for years. They hate us!

But last week’s CNBC debate was a joke and everyone knows it!

Now President Obama mocks us – CONSERVATIVES - for standing up to CNBC? Give me a break! He doesn’t have the guts to appear with Sean Hannity or Mark Levin, let alone take on radical world leaders!

I’ve taken on the ladies of The View. I’ve gone toe-to-toe with Bill Maher. And I’ve debated Rachel Maddow and won.

More importantly, I’ve taken on ISIS and Iran. They know who I am and I know who they are!

I’ve debated Rachel Maddow and won.

ready to take on Churchill and Stalin at Yalta.

Now President Obama mocks us – CONSERVATIVES

Trump asking for money is p sad

hint: it's not Trump

okay Rubio is my next guess

I hear he armwrestled ISIS

"I tweeted Mika Brzezinski...and she responded!"

lol

Iran: "I've never heard of this guy"

"I took on Hewlett Packard's corporate culture of profit and greed...and destroyed the company!"

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CTBLM1GUcAAQHCl.png

haha, sorry

for those who haven't figured it out that fundraiser was from Santorum, btw

he's really frothing over this.

"birthed to" is such gross English

Trump asking for money is p sad his life

https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/12036449_10153706016398622_2745257270687377513_n.jpg?oh=01c968f03957ce35704232f8ce1febfd&oe=56C1A41F

Youch.

an unidentified man describes his penis to Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders

Ben Carson is doing outstanding as my favorite new comedian.

icymi

http://forward.com/opinion/national/324013/how-i-would-rebuild-ties-to-israel-and-benjamin-neta/

Ugh I would hope she loses except alternative is even more appalling.

thank god there's a candidate who's going to reaffirm our ties to israel, i was wondering when some brave soul would try that

http://i.imgur.com/Oodh5lh.png

Trading in children is illegal isn't it?

your new Subway pitchman Ben Carson

still trying to get over the rhyming of "ben carson" and "be awesome"

That whole Shep Fox News segment is incredibly insane. In a little over a minute you learn that Carson thinks pyramids were grain silos, wouldn't trade children for money, and then get a preview of his cool new rap ad. How did he manage to do so many funny stupid things in a single day?

The cherry on top is that if you look at those RCP poll-average charts with the colored lines, we stand at the precise moment when Carson's rising support and Trump's declining support meet each other - though both have taken a sharp turn recently and might do so again.

Meanwhile, Christie and Huckabee have been bumped to the kids' table debate, and Graham and Pataki aren't even invited to that. I didn't think we'd actually see any more exits from the clown car for a while, but... maybe?

Trump is getting stale. The Great Walls of Mexico and Canada are losing their charms for the voters. He needs to gin up some more amazing things he'll do in office, like solve all of Africa's problems by turning it into a theme park, or teaching the premier of China to sit up and bark like a dog.

he should propose a really grand solution to iowa's grain-storage troubles. something fantastic, something that plays to his experience in monumental real estate and construction schemes.

Carson accused of not having beaten his mother with a hammer

slanderous

Watching him on morning news insisting "I did too!" has to be one of the more bizarre bits of this campaign.

oops!

Ben Carson admits fabricating West Point scholarship

lol this guy

next yr gonna tell me he didn't saw two kids brains in half

This admission comes as serious questions about other points of fact in Carson’s personal narrative are questioned, including the seminal episode in which he claimed to have attempted to stab a close friend. Similarly, details have emerged that cast doubt on the nature of Carson’s encounter with one of the most prominent military men of that era.

He is sticking with his pyramid story though.

gotcha questions, smdh

I told you guys, A+ comedian.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CSB69CEUwAAyCOa.jpg