a clown car full of millionaires: the 2016 presidential primary thread

"it's easy to be pro-life when they're still in the womb" *half-hearted clapping by 3 people*

http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/the-gops-primary-rules-might-doom-carson-and-cruz/ - first non-bullshit-feeling, properly 538-like 538 piece in a long while.

The electorate that nominates GOP presidential candidates is much bluer than the ones that nominate other GOP officials, a distinction that is almost impossible to overstate. Look at where the Republican Party lives: Only 11 of 54 GOP senators and 26 of 247 GOP representatives hail from Obama-won locales, but there are 1,247 delegates at stake in Obama-won states, compared with just 1,166 in Romney states.

What’s more, an imbalance lies in a nuance of the RNC’s delegate allocation. (...) A total of 832 delegates (about 34 percent of all 2,472 delegates) spanning 23 states will be awarded based on results at the congressional district level. Here’s the catch: According to the RNC’s allotment rules, three delegates are at stake in each district, regardless of the partisan lopsidedness of the seat. This creates a “rotten boroughs” phenomenon in which Blue Zone Republicans’ votes can be disproportionately valuable.

For example, three delegates are up for grabs in New York’s heavily Latino, Bronx-based 15th District, which cast just 5,315 votes for Romney in 2012. But there are also three delegates at stake in Alabama’s 6th District, which covers Birmingham’s whitest suburbs and gave Romney 233,803 votes. In other words, a GOP primary vote cast in the bluest part of the Bronx could be worth 43 times more than a vote cast in the reddest part of Alabama.

(obviously, doesn't address the possibility, however remote, that GOP primary voters in a 'blue' district could still be ragingly 'red,' assuming it was an isolated, seething conservative minority, rather than a middlingly purple mix of a district where everyone's pretty similar in views and Dems just are able to scrape together a 52% win consistently.)

Carson is like a guy who decided to run for president because he can no longer hang out at Borders all day talking to strangers

that Christie video where he's talking about addiction is a good example of how even a process as screwed up as presidential elective politics can produce isolated bits of good. but massive numbers of voters in his party will just say 'what's wrong with just letting some-or-other charities fix the problem instead of using MY PRECIOUS TAX MONEY?!'

great place for late night people watching

Carson is like a guy who decided to run for president because he can no longer hang out at Borders all day talking to strangers

it honestly feels like he has no interest in being president and just this clueless guy who bumbled into this situation 'being there' style

and is just*

haha also ignore the confusing first line

posting from my phone

I loved it when the Josh Marshall called him "increasingly Chauncey Gardner-esque" after the last debate

https://twitter.com/dankmtl/status/662113067627634688

it honestly feels like he has no interest in being president and just this clueless guy who bumbled into this situation 'being there' style

otm, it's so fucking weird!

Amazing Egypt line. Of course they had grain solos cos grain was used for everything from paying workers to feeding animals to making construction materials. I guess he thinks the pyramid is somehow hollow w the grain poured in the top. There is no reason to do that, it would be a COLOSSAL waste of resources, and doesn't make sense when you consider pyramids were often a multi generational project, its in fact a BAD IDEA.

Like once you've sealed them up, they are pretty much unusable for the time being. And if you don't do an air tight seal of your pyramid stash then you can kiss your grain goodbye cos of grave robbers.

Wouldn't that be grain robbers?

The Treat Grain Robbery!

C'mon rob the grain, rob it woowoo

josh marshall calls out some more O_O in carson's statement (which he still stands by - i thought this was just a crazy thing he said in the 90s that someone dug up, but i guess he still believes it?!?!?!?!?!?):

In the course of his explanation, Carson said "And when you look at the way that the pyramids are made, with many chambers that are hermetically sealed, they’d have to be that way for various reasons. And various of scientists have said, ‘well, you know there were alien beings that came down and they have special knowledge and that’s how-’ you know, it doesn’t require an alien being when God is with you.” (emphasis added).

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/carson-doubles-down-plus-space-aliens

marshall goes on to speculate that the "various of scientists" carson referred to might just be Erich von Daniken of Chariots of the Gods fame. which is hilarious because that book has been sitting by my toilet for like 2 years now

also

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/various

Usage Note: The use of various as a pronoun is widely regarded as an error and continues to grate on many people's nerves. In 1967, 91 percent of the Usage Panel found various unacceptable as a pronoun, and in 1999, 87 percent disapproved of the sentence Various of the committee members spoke out against the measure. Resistance to this usage was somewhat eased when it was used for inanimate nouns and was not the subject of the sentence, with 70 percent of the Panel rejecting a sentence including the phrase ownership of the lake and various of its tributaries.

ok, now i'm in a wormhole because i'm searching for the usage note on "grate on many people's nerves"

You know, there might be a grain of truth to all this.

A kernel, you say?

As Ramses used to say, I always be King of Grain.

Maybe Jeb does respond to every single one of his emails.

http://i.imgur.com/ZgmLCEB.png

http://i.imgur.com/sRNY160.png

https://soundcloud.com/abcpolitics/ben-carson-radio-ad

everybody post how many seconds you get through before your cringe kicks in and you turn it off

cf: real OGs know that the flute is the most gangsta of musical instruments

I listened to the whole thing why because it was awesome come on now

Ben Carson is a masterful surgeon. You can't even see the scars from the work he's done on his own brain.

wow that ad is a nightmare

lmao lololololol aahahahahaha

VOTE
VOTE
VOTE
VOTE

that should be in the dictionary under "pander"

the trump ads are good capsules of his entire campaign, lots of crazy ass empty promises and nutso open ended madness
"there WILL be a wall"

Someone tell Ben that our nation was built by people who drank rum like it was water.

what are the chances carson actually likes rap music

"Carson did apparently propose this idea to Mr. Brandman … in 1998, 30 years after Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat premiered. However, when pushed for comment on this issue, Carson responded that he was in fact aware of the existing musical production in 1998, but that “The Bible calls it a coat of many colors, but in those days the only colors were black and white, as you can see in old television footage. My belief is that the coat was black, white and brown – the first time anyone had ever seen brown. That story has yet to be told.”"

wait whaaaat??????????

omg

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CWM1zDcmWXs/TroD0VsX4WI/AAAAAAAAAVA/Jc5bN5xSTkc/s1600/ch930919.gif

my first thought too lol

the carson ad reminds me a little of this shameful (but pretty ingenious) tactic by linda mcmahon's gubernatorial campaign a few years ago

http://ctsenate2012.nhregister.com/2012/11/06/service-employees-union-complains-about-mcmahan-camps-purple-t-shirts/

http://ctsenate2012.nhregister.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/mcmahon-obama-t-shirt-e1352226443858-576x258.jpg

is there an actual source for that quote or is that Brandman paraphrasing or what

xp

pretty sure this is the guardian's version of borowitz

it's in quotes and Guardian isn't The Onion...but someone in comments is saying it's supposed to be a "humorous" article and not fact so idk wtf is going on.

that story is def not on Ben Carson's official website

in those days the only colors were black and white, as you can see in old television footage

is this real?

guys. it is not real.

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/nov/05/fact-check-ben-carson-claim-pyramids-store-grain

i am looking for "this is an opinion piece" or "this is a satirical article" on this page. i don't see it.

Carson ad reminiscent of Rod Blagojevich's ad back in 2002(!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7LNdYxK9Oo

I remember hearing this on the radio and spitting coffee all over my dashboard.

xp

all the writer's other pieces are appear to be "humorous" commentary

yeah the trump ad that came on after that carson one was so funny in a sad, worrying way -- just a series of declarations of things he can do. "Obamacare is a disaster. I'm going to replace it with something much better."

I think the new Carson ad is a little too commercial. I prefer the early spontaneity of "One Little Wee-Wee."