a clown car full of millionaires: the 2016 presidential primary thread

didn't you hear, apparently they weren't even slaves

and ate meat

if you believe the archaeologists

http://media.giphy.com/media/l41m733KPqRdI8WB2/giphy.gif

Hmmm, you all sure he was talking about "grains"?

so i guess the ancient Egyptians emptied the grain then put dead bodies in there

― INTOXICATING LIQUORS (art), Wednesday, November 4, 2015 4:24 PM (17 minutes ago)

nah it was probably those highfalutin' archaeologists trying to trick us

Gawd, I hate the Internet. Have I mentioned that recently?

http://i.imgur.com/8UrdaVK.jpg

Not having much luck finding Carson quotes about dinosaurs.

pls recall that the dinos never actually existed, their bones were simply hidden by satan in the proper geological strata all over the world

You know, if someone ever finds dinosaur bones inside a pyramid, I'm going to be the one needing brain surgery!

that's what i call the real pyramid scheme

pls recall that the dinos never actually existed, their bones were simply hidden by satan in the proper geological strata all over the world

― INTOXICATING LIQUORS (art)

how can I be sure you're not a scientist trying to fool me?

http://creationwiki.org/Joseph_and_Imhotep

Xp question everything.

vote ron paul

i don't even understand what he's trying to say.

― Karl Malone, Wednesday, November 4, 2015

mene mene tekel upharsin

Were the pyramids built by experts or amateurs? I forgot and am trying to remember

xp so he's telling us the fall of our empire is nigh

just reward for our hubris

christie is a moron but this is lovely:
https://www.facebook.com/HuffPostPolitics/videos/10153519228277911/

how much empty space do the pyramids even offer? like as much as a couple of RV's? maybe the idea is that joseph tricked the pharaohs into building this hopelessly inefficient grain infrastructure in order to bankrupt the Old Kingdom, and when the pharaohs caught on they killed themselves and were buried inside. odd that he was able to pull off the same scam so many times but the real lesson of the story is, don't trust foreigners or big government projects. vote for me folks and remember to buy gold.

christie is a moron but this is lovely:

this is like one of the only issues where he's not a total asshole

His overpraised tuff talk is at his best here; I can't imagine even Rand Paul delivering that opening anecdote with conviction.

a pity being 100 percent pro-life outside doesn't extend to social services

Something something taxation equals death. Seems like kind of a gotcha thing to bring up when he's telling an emotional story about his Mom and rich lawyer friend.

iirc he didn't mention anything about new programs, just that a president should 'say these things'

Waitamin, wouldn't construction of the Pyramids predate Joseph by centuries?

sounds like ivory-tower 'historian' talk to me

YOU GUYS WAIT: HOW DO WE KNOW THE EGYPTIAN DESERTS ARE SAND AND NOT ~GRAIN~????

they ate sand?

They ate all the sand which is there.

verily

SANDwiches!

"it's easy to be pro-life when they're still in the womb" *half-hearted clapping by 3 people*

http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/the-gops-primary-rules-might-doom-carson-and-cruz/ - first non-bullshit-feeling, properly 538-like 538 piece in a long while.

The electorate that nominates GOP presidential candidates is much bluer than the ones that nominate other GOP officials, a distinction that is almost impossible to overstate. Look at where the Republican Party lives: Only 11 of 54 GOP senators and 26 of 247 GOP representatives hail from Obama-won locales, but there are 1,247 delegates at stake in Obama-won states, compared with just 1,166 in Romney states.

What’s more, an imbalance lies in a nuance of the RNC’s delegate allocation. (...) A total of 832 delegates (about 34 percent of all 2,472 delegates) spanning 23 states will be awarded based on results at the congressional district level. Here’s the catch: According to the RNC’s allotment rules, three delegates are at stake in each district, regardless of the partisan lopsidedness of the seat. This creates a “rotten boroughs” phenomenon in which Blue Zone Republicans’ votes can be disproportionately valuable.

For example, three delegates are up for grabs in New York’s heavily Latino, Bronx-based 15th District, which cast just 5,315 votes for Romney in 2012. But there are also three delegates at stake in Alabama’s 6th District, which covers Birmingham’s whitest suburbs and gave Romney 233,803 votes. In other words, a GOP primary vote cast in the bluest part of the Bronx could be worth 43 times more than a vote cast in the reddest part of Alabama.

(obviously, doesn't address the possibility, however remote, that GOP primary voters in a 'blue' district could still be ragingly 'red,' assuming it was an isolated, seething conservative minority, rather than a middlingly purple mix of a district where everyone's pretty similar in views and Dems just are able to scrape together a 52% win consistently.)

Carson is like a guy who decided to run for president because he can no longer hang out at Borders all day talking to strangers

that Christie video where he's talking about addiction is a good example of how even a process as screwed up as presidential elective politics can produce isolated bits of good. but massive numbers of voters in his party will just say 'what's wrong with just letting some-or-other charities fix the problem instead of using MY PRECIOUS TAX MONEY?!'

great place for late night people watching

Carson is like a guy who decided to run for president because he can no longer hang out at Borders all day talking to strangers

it honestly feels like he has no interest in being president and just this clueless guy who bumbled into this situation 'being there' style

and is just*

haha also ignore the confusing first line

posting from my phone

I loved it when the Josh Marshall called him "increasingly Chauncey Gardner-esque" after the last debate

https://twitter.com/dankmtl/status/662113067627634688

it honestly feels like he has no interest in being president and just this clueless guy who bumbled into this situation 'being there' style

otm, it's so fucking weird!

Amazing Egypt line. Of course they had grain solos cos grain was used for everything from paying workers to feeding animals to making construction materials. I guess he thinks the pyramid is somehow hollow w the grain poured in the top. There is no reason to do that, it would be a COLOSSAL waste of resources, and doesn't make sense when you consider pyramids were often a multi generational project, its in fact a BAD IDEA.

Like once you've sealed them up, they are pretty much unusable for the time being. And if you don't do an air tight seal of your pyramid stash then you can kiss your grain goodbye cos of grave robbers.

Wouldn't that be grain robbers?

The Treat Grain Robbery!

C'mon rob the grain, rob it woowoo

josh marshall calls out some more O_O in carson's statement (which he still stands by - i thought this was just a crazy thing he said in the 90s that someone dug up, but i guess he still believes it?!?!?!?!?!?):

In the course of his explanation, Carson said "And when you look at the way that the pyramids are made, with many chambers that are hermetically sealed, they’d have to be that way for various reasons. And various of scientists have said, ‘well, you know there were alien beings that came down and they have special knowledge and that’s how-’ you know, it doesn’t require an alien being when God is with you.” (emphasis added).

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/carson-doubles-down-plus-space-aliens

marshall goes on to speculate that the "various of scientists" carson referred to might just be Erich von Daniken of Chariots of the Gods fame. which is hilarious because that book has been sitting by my toilet for like 2 years now

also

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/various

Usage Note: The use of various as a pronoun is widely regarded as an error and continues to grate on many people's nerves. In 1967, 91 percent of the Usage Panel found various unacceptable as a pronoun, and in 1999, 87 percent disapproved of the sentence Various of the committee members spoke out against the measure. Resistance to this usage was somewhat eased when it was used for inanimate nouns and was not the subject of the sentence, with 70 percent of the Panel rejecting a sentence including the phrase ownership of the lake and various of its tributaries.

ok, now i'm in a wormhole because i'm searching for the usage note on "grate on many people's nerves"

You know, there might be a grain of truth to all this.