everybody on ilx complains about reddit

good god this guy is amazing

http://www.worldofkeegle.com/p/the-keggy-keegle-compendium.html

(28/F)My best friend (34/F) is about to marry the most horrible man on earth. Warning: Raver drama

Mind you, we're hula-hooping, fire-spinning clown strippers, so being a little high is kind of part of the game...but you can't be so high you drop your hoops.

hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha

much better lede than the million "I think this person I told I want a casual relationship is hanging out with another dude -- who really sucks!" posts with a million answers sympathizing with their plight

dude, you said you wanted something casual and now you're all possessive, this is why you are a reddit relationships poster

he's the guy who threw the banana at dave chappelle?!

lol yes, that one gets more ridiculous AND more tragic

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3pni1q/i_20m_rated_my_girlfriend_19f_a_6510_and_now_shes/

I [20m] rated my girlfriend [19f] a 6.5/10 and now she's really sad and distant, she said she wouldn't have a problem and just wanted an honest answer...help?Relationships
submitted 5 hours ago * by throwawaydamnrating
My girlfriend asked me to rate her on a scale of 1 - 10 with 10 being movie star looks and 1 being a Lovecraftian horror. Naturally, I am a moron because I was like okay I'll rate you. She then says, whatever you rate me, don't worry, I won't get mad and it won't matter.
So I rate her a 6.5 out of 10. She had this really expectant look on her face that just vanished into a really disappointing look. It was like expecting a ps4 at christmas and being given a book on Mathematics. I immediately felt like a fucking dick and she was just like it's okay, I know I'm not that attractive, it's fine.
This was 2 days ago and she's been kind of sad and distant and I tried talking to her about it but she was just like I said it wouldn't bother me, don't worry. I tried kissing her cheek this morning after class and she just kind of turned away.
Fuck, yes, I know, I fucked up. I could use some advice????
tl;dr rated gf a 6.5

[–]myceli-yum 3 points 42 minutes ago
My answer to questions like this is: "Don't ask questions you don't want the honest answer to." it usually gets them to pause and think about the possible outcomes and their possible feelings depending.

i hope you're happy pitchfork

It was like expecting a ps4 at christmas and being given a book on Mathematics.

that makes me really sad to read

next he'll be posting about how his gf said "no, my birthday really isn't a big deal, we don't have to do anything special..."

I cannot stop laughing at that poor dude

http://i.imgur.com/R8JwfFw.jpg

its nice how he used the decimal too really put some thought into it

babe yr a drunk seven tho, my drunk seven

chinavision! otm!

Far be it from me to defend a redditor, but let he who was not a total dipshit at the age of 20 cast the first downvote.

wow makes u think

really makes you look fat in this

10 being movie star looks

http://s3.amazonaws.com/auteurs_production/images/film/air-bud-golden-receiver/w448/air-bud-golden-receiver.jpg

Far be it from me to defend a redditor, but let he who was not a total dipshit at the age of 20 cast the first downvote.

*downvotes*

this is a great punchline:

https://twitter.com/chaeronaea/status/657200971576053760

even the dippest of shits should know better than to ever answer such a loaded question.

tho part of me thinks that people who ask such questions seriously deserve those who are foolish enough to answer them honestly.

i really like that fan

like wtf color is it when it's spinning
what if you use colored lightbulbs
i have questions

I hate it too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sbhgg8nnEVo

Why would you have a fan in the hallway.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5l89l3_rspo

There's all sort of gothic houses around here with attic fans in the hallway, but that one is just plain stupid.

i take it back, that hurts my eyes

we've probably discussed how half of the "Life Pro Tips" subreddit contains creepy and manipulative shit like this

also lol @ I've done this for the past three jobs and I'm never disappointed with the results.

haha

http://i.imgur.com/Br5locE.png

*Looks around* *Cows walk past*

Goddammit! NOT AGAIN.

LPT: Stop starting sentences with words like Honestly, Genuinely, Literally, Seriously. People will catch on to how over dramatic you are and it will discredit your statements and thoughts. self.LifeProTips

tbh this is the dumbest shit i've read in my entire life

you mean honestly, genuinely, literally, seriously the dumbest shit you've EVER read in your ENTIRE LIFE

I like that they appear either unaware or unconcerned with the meme meaning of
http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/2/25509-217160-imagesjpeg-620x.jpg

dude:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CToD1jTWIAApKW_.png:large

whoa not masturbating makes you hella kewl

he misspelled "dammed"

"Day 94 of hard mode"
Uhh

I mean

that cannot be real

lol dlh

as amazing as this is, I don't know if anything will ever top the pure hilarity of "Taste's very strange!"

not jerking it turns you into a combo of bill pullman from independence day and alec baldwin from malice

also a savage

nobody jerked it before agriculture. just another wrong turn.

tbh there are lots of things that cause fits of megalomania interspersed with suicidal ideation and crying and giving up masturbation usually isn't one of them