a clown car full of millionaires: the 2016 presidential primary thread

those pictures of Huckabee and Jindal they've placed next to one another don't make them look like they are only 1" apart in height irl, Huckabee's head looks twice the length and width of Jindal's for a start

They all felt something
But I felt nothing
Except the feeling
That this bullshit was absurd

xxxp

I had no idea Lindsey Graham was such a dwarf. 5'7"? Come on.

if he were elected he would be the shortest president since McKinley:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heights_of_presidents_and_presidential_candidates_of_the_United_States

enough is enough

someone, anyone, stop lindsey graham from becoming president! it may be too late

McKinley was 5'7"? he seemed taller.

http://i.imgur.com/V4INiuy.jpg

"Shhh. It's Dreams Time."

You're thinking of this:
http://media1.s-nbcnews.com/j/newscms/2015_36/1200341/150831-nps-mt-mckinley-denali-yh-0122p_e4143768dc359ccb5a1fd7170d648eac.nbcnews-fp-1200-800.jpg

McKinley was really good in Phantasm though.

Love how that graphic doesn't even bother to include Cruz. Like, "Well, I mean, come on, people."

president denali

I think most of these candidates are in denali.

the whole damn culture is in denali

lol Phil

a major downside of that graphic is that no one can fairly use the "i didn't know they stacked shit that high" line again

disappointed there does not (yet) appear to be a youtube mix video of Jeb! sayin "for cryin out loud"

Do just not know how tall Sanders and Cruz are?

or Scott Walker.

the graphic is from early July, so maybe that explains the lack of Walker (he hadn't announced yet, I think?), but not Cruz/Sanders. Their absence can probably be blamed on the fact that it's a US News and World Report graphic

google lists cruz and sanders as 5'8" and walker as about six foot

Trade that clown car for a Smurf car.

http://officetan.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/2a7a0_1310235.png

i know just the man for the job

jeb tries to remind his party to pretend to do their jobs better

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/bush-mccarthy-benghazi-committee

Earlier this week, McCarthy, who is the frontrunner in the race to replace John Boehner as House Speaker, told Fox News host Sean Hannity, "Everybody thought Hillary Clinton was unbeatable, right?"

"But we put together a Benghazi special committee, a select committee. What are her numbers today? Her numbers are dropping," McCarthy said. "Why? Because she's untrustable [sic]. But no one would have known any of that had happened had we not fought and made that happen."

In his comments on Morning Joe, Bush pivoted from his criticisms of McCarthy to slam lawmakers in Washington more generally, arguing, "They're grasping to find something to say that they've done something positive."

"Well, first of all, that's not positive and secondly that's not the intent," Bush said.

i hope for jeb's sake he knows what's up here. i mean, he can't not, right?

I wonder how stoked McCarthy is about the upcoming Michael Bay BENGHAZI! movie

Was paging through this book and (spoiler alert):

http://www.brendanhalpin.com/.a/6a00d8341cae6453ef0133f2cd4900970b-pi

They picked as their #1 horror movie the Hammer Horror of Dracula ('58), which seems not only unorthodox but downright bizarre. I know Hammer has a devoted following, but I wasn't aware that any one of their films stood out from the pack enough to merit a #1 placement on an overall list.

i guess a lot of the GOP is mad at mccarthy now. whoops! shit, cat's out of the bag on that one.

^^ OTM. xp

xxp I want to say "wrong thread," but it might not be.

LOL, sorry.

lol

That guly man Chaffetz already said he was offended. I don't know who's uglier: Chaffetz or Gowdy, whose birth certificate said he's fifty but looks 11.

"Why? Because she's untrustable [/sic]. But no one would have known any of that had happened had we not fought and made that happen."

love it when they put [sic]'s in quotes from audio.

http://www.brendanhalpin.com/.a/6a00d8341cae6453ef0133f2cd4900970b-pi

From top left, clockwise:
Rubio
Trump
Fiorina
Jindal
Carson
Cruz
Jeb!
Rick Perry

pretty sure chaffetz is congressional rimshot guy

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.2085378.1421780860!/img/httpImage/animation-48.gif

Graham is the Bride of Frankenstein

YES THANK YOU.

i suppose this is better suited to the other politics thread but since i brought it up:

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/erick-erickson-kevin-mccarthy-benghazi

they're really going with this aren't they

I think they want to use it as an opportunity to get that lunatic Webster in as speaker

"Never mind that the committee is trying to uncover exactly what happened and what went wrong in Benghazi. McCarthy openly saying this damages that effort," Erickson wrote. "This is the man Republicans want to be Speaker of the House. He is shallow and unprincipled and is showing what an opportunist he is willing to be."

wait, i thought those were the qualifications for being majority leader

seems like everyone who had name recognition is either running for president or was and dropped out
and all of them made asses of themselves so now no one wants them
this has been a really amazing and pyhrric run up year

everybody had a hard year, everybody had a wet dream, everybody put their foot down

ben carson, cutter of brains, has more thoughts about sciencey things:

"You don't believe in evolution or climate change, I believe," the Republican presidential candidate was asked at a town hall at the University of New Hampshire in Durham. "And I was just wondering, do you seriously not believe that climate change is happening?"

"Is there climate change? Of course there's climate change," Carson replied. "Any point in time, temperatures are going up or temperatures are going down. Of course that's happening. When that stops happening, that's when we're in big trouble.”

The crowd responded with loud applause—though not as loud as when he insisted moments later that although we should "take care of the environment," "There is no reason to make it into a political issue." (Which raises the question: If we don't use politics to protect the environment, who will? The Earth itself? God?)

At that point, Carson detoured. Though he had been asked about climate change, he continued, "As far as evolution is concerned, you know, I do believe in micro-evolution, or natural selection, but I believe that God gave the creatures he made the ability to adapt to their environment. Because he's very smart and he didn't want to start over every 50 years." (More applause.)

And later in his three-minute response, he said, “Just the way the Earth rotates on its axis, how far away it is from the sun. These are all very complex things. Gravity, where did it come from?”

http://www.newrepublic.com/article/122989/ben-carson-climate-change-gravity-where-did-it-come

is he quoting They Might Be Giants in those last three sentences

http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/Insane-Clown-Posse-fuckin-magnets-how-do-they-work.jpg

I believe that God gave the creatures he made the ability to adapt to their environment. Except the ones who didn't adapt. God hates those creatures.

lol

but apparently not smart enough to arrange things so there's no need to "adapt to their environment".
There's lots of Ben Carsons out there: people who aren't completely stupid but WAY overestimate their own intelligence, try to use the same tools actual smart people use (ie logic, reasoning), fail miserably yet aren't smart (or humble) enough to realize that.

the previous five extinction events was just god clearing out loser animals he made when he stoned.

There's lots of Ben Carsons out there: people who aren't completely stupid but WAY overestimate their own intelligence, try to use the same tools actual smart people use (ie logic, reasoning), fail miserably yet aren't smart (or humble) enough to realize that.

a lot of those people, sadly, have medical degrees

Carson could say smart-sounding stuff about intelligent design and information theory and whatever. He'd still be wrong, but he would appease the base and not come across as totally ignorant. So, I guess he is that ignorant?

God: He's Very Smart
(i feel i have at least four points of disagreements with that statement)

1. There is no God.
2. If there were a God, it'd be a She.
3. ???
4. ???