OMG I WANT THIS AMAZING RONALDINHO BOTTLE OPENER

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I don't think that's a very good bottle opener.

― HI DERE, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:42 (nineteen years ago)

My Argument, a Poem by Louis Jagger

I know it's not the issue to you
Ally
But others
In the course of this discussion
Made it the issue.

I understand the issue you are getting at
Yes, I do
But it's not the one I'm having to argue against.

My argument is that the bottle-opener thread
An innocent thread
Was ruined by over-reacting individuals
Whose over-reaction I felt it necessary to check.

Then the personal shit started flying
Then the accusations of 'implicit racism' arose
Then I was fighting a losing battle for my dignity

When I should have just walked away.

P.S. 'fake ivy league shitbag' = the sort of personal abuse that keeps me coming back for more, baby
Thanks, ILX.

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:42 (nineteen years ago)

Actually I don't think the intention of the manufacturer is 100% relevant here. Lots of people make racist comments who would be horrified to be thought of as racist. Mostly because they lack the basic sensitivity to see the racism there in the first place. Did you guys learn nothing from the whole Jade Goody/Shilpa Shetty thing?

― Matt DC, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:42 (nineteen years ago)

WHO GIVES A SHIT, ONE COLLEGE-AGED PRETEND BISEXUAL IS THE SAME AS ANOTHER, YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE GOING TO PRINCETON FOR ALL I WOULD BE ABLE TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:42 (nineteen years ago)

You are the new T. S. Eliot, Mr. Que.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:43 (nineteen years ago)

haha I meant the picture Matt linked to is not a suppy cup.

― nickalicious, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:43 (nineteen years ago)

you prefer the Kaka one too?

― 600, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:43 (nineteen years ago)

ok, Mr. Que's versification of my rant actually had me lolling just now. you win this round!

― unfished business, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:43 (nineteen years ago)

Mr. Que, I kiss you.

― G00blar, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:43 (nineteen years ago)

Okay I have to applaud the Princeton slam. KUDOS

― HI DERE, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:43 (nineteen years ago)

i knew you'd like that, dan :D
secret ivy league handshake!!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:44 (nineteen years ago)

BEER HAMMER
http://www.world-wonders.net/images_products_big/90002_big.jpg

― kenan, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:45 (nineteen years ago)

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c90/gradygillan/FunnyPart-com-organic_bottle_opener.jpg

― g®▲Ðұ, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:45 (nineteen years ago)

I WISH I KNEW SPECIAL HANDSHAKE, BUT I AM NOT FANCY LIKE DAN AND LOUIS

― i would just like to point out that i have been otm on this thread, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:46 (nineteen years ago)

http://i16.ebayimg.com/01/i/000/77/df/9c31_1_b.JPG

Note tiny head and hole where his brain should be.

― onimo, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:46 (nineteen years ago)

YEAH I WOULDN'T ACCEPT LOUIS' "SPECIAL HANDSHAKE" IF I WERE YOU

― ghost rider, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:47 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.citycynic.com/im/00017johnnycarson2.jpg

― ghost rider, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:47 (nineteen years ago)

Depending on where you are, you can still easily find lawn jockeys (hi dere non-metropolitan US).

most repainted to be white

But some not. There's one on my dog-walking route, and I can't come up with a clever way of vandalizing it without, you know, making it worse.

― Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:47 (nineteen years ago)

when it comes down to it, we're all pretty similar. we're intelligent, educated, liberal fellas, it's just that we're looking at the (non-)issue from different perspectives and being dogmatic about it. i vote we call it a day. just folx on a messageboard getting het up over little. peace? i'll retract all of my (i'm sure you'll claim impotent) insults now.

― unfished business, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:47 (nineteen years ago)

we're intelligent, educated, liberal fellas

Charming.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

i'll retract all of my (i'm sure you'll claim impotent) insults now.

take pictures, okay?

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

we're intelligent, educated, liberal fellas

sexist

― onimo, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:49 (nineteen years ago)

Okay I have to applaud the Princeton slam. KUDOS

It was pretty good, but I still prefer Tuesday's from Marissa:

there's something truly hilarious about the second of those rugby photos, and I think it may have something to do with the lady on the right.

unfished business on Tuesday, 20 March 2007 22:35 (Yesterday)

not interesting.

marissa on Tuesday, 20 March 2007 22:38 (Yesterday)

― caek, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:49 (nineteen years ago)

hahahahahahahahahahahaha onimo wins

― HI DERE, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:49 (nineteen years ago)

Charming.

??

Ned, if this is sarcastic, UH? Do you wish to be known as a stupid, unschooled crank?

(by 'educated' i don't just mean 'at university/college', i mean well-read, well-versed in culture etc)

― unfished business, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

'fellas' incorporates women in my book. one's fellow humans etc etc

― unfished business, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

IN HOLE STOP DIGGING LOUIS

― Matt DC, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:52 (nineteen years ago)

are you for serious? THEY LET CHICKS ARGUE ON THE INTERNET NOW TOO.

― horseshoe, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:52 (nineteen years ago)

we're intelligent, educated, liberal fellas

I'm not no fella, ya sexist. But yeah, good luck with the whole "let's all agree to disagree" thing. That works a treat on ILX.

― ailsa, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:52 (nineteen years ago)

FELLAS (what)
FELLAS (what)
I'M READY (i'm ready)
i think i'm gonna OVERDOSE

― HI DERE, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:52 (nineteen years ago)

the internet is going straight to hell

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:52 (nineteen years ago)

I love these threads. Thanks guys. But there's just not enough crazy. Where's "you know who"*?

*Sorry, can't be specific. I am operating under Bloody Mary/Candynman principle.

― i would just like to point out that i have been otm on this thread, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:53 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.kitchencontraptions.com/archives/pictures/3390312_detail-thumb.jpg

― g®▲Ðұ, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:53 (nineteen years ago)

Or, yeah, what they all said above me.

― ailsa, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:53 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.worth1000.com/entries/110500/110593WDFC_w.jpg

― g®▲Ðұ, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:54 (nineteen years ago)

they let chicks do ALL KINDS of things on the internet

― kenan, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:54 (nineteen years ago)

A-ooooooooo-GA!

― i would just like to point out that i have been otm on this thread, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:55 (nineteen years ago)

jesus, by 'fellas' i meant everyone, it's my collective term for any group of people

IRL instance:

me: "Seeya later, fellas"

group of mixed-gender people: "Bye LJ"

boy out of group (putting pants back on): "Don't breathe a word of this to anyone"

― unfished business, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:55 (nineteen years ago)

a special bottle opener

― kenan, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:55 (nineteen years ago)

Grady don't you have any pics of bottle openers that look like Transformers fucking?

― nickalicious, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:55 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.boingboing.net/opener%20picture1.jpg

― kenan, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:56 (nineteen years ago)

That beats the shit out of ping-pong balls.

― i would just like to point out that i have been otm on this thread, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:56 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.auctionbuzzz.com/Jay/catopen1.jpg

― g®▲Ðұ, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:57 (nineteen years ago)

How to open a beer bottle with a piece of paper

― caek, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:57 (nineteen years ago)

See Louis? You just can't hang with the Master of Creepy.

― HI DERE, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:57 (nineteen years ago)

http://ebayimages.goantiques.com/dbimages/ZDE4440/ZDE4440JBED71.jpg

― g®▲Ðұ, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:58 (nineteen years ago)

louis you a punk, i'm a serial killer, YA HEARD

― kenan, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:59 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.bitsnbobs.co.uk/upload/MP-976.jpg

― g®▲Ðұ, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:59 (nineteen years ago)

I just imagine Louis as perpetually on stage with a crook around his neck dragging him toward the curtain, going "c'mon, that was funny, is this thing on?, FUCK ALL OF YOU BASTARDS, hey c'mon guys, that was funny, I WILL KILL YOUR PETS, you've been a great audience, is this thing on?"

― nabisco, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:59 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.wonderlandblog.com/wonderland/images/starwarsbarset.jpg

― g®▲Ðұ, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:59 (nineteen years ago)

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