a clown car full of millionaires: the 2016 presidential primary thread

i double-checked and the gary bauer george bush pancake showdown i was thinking of actually was in late january of 2000. after the iowa caucus, before the new hampshire primary (which sent bauer, with 0.69%, packing). we'll be putting up with this clown car for a good long while folks. though i think we could start a new thread once the first person drops out; somebody has to figure, even before the primaries, that they're wasting their time even for a VP bid.

At a pancake-flipping contest here this morning, the conservative presidential candidate at the bottom of the
GOP pack flipped a pancake over and behind his head, ran back to catch it and fell off the three-foot riser.
Yet, somehow, Bauer managed to catch the pancake in his pan on his way down.
As he jumped back on the stage, Bauer shouted, “I’m a fighter!”

http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-06/5/15/enhanced/webdr08/anigif_original-grid-image-3950-1401997559-4.gif

Bauer said he hit his elbow and hip, but was not injured. Texas Gov. George W. Bush, who had
just executed a fall-free pancake flip, was behind the stage when Bauer fell. Bush looked up to see him falling
and was heard to say, “Oops, here comes Bauer!”

Looking like a nerd in public is probably the worst sin you can commit in US politics.

Fittingly, Gary Bauer's principal rival at this juncture was Steve Forbes:

Bauer came on stage joking that Bush had a string attacked to his pancake, then said millionaire publisher Steve Forbes couldn't make it because "he was across town at a Faberge egg scrambling contest."

i hear 'have a blessed day' a lot now, often in contexts where it's clearly an order from management (like every kid working the window at cookout says it, no way that's just happening on its own), always w/ complete friendly sincerity, none of that occasional implied 'fuck off' you get w/ 'have a nice day' or those pointed 'merry CHRISTMAS that's right i went there' you sometimes get. thx to #blessed the religious element of it feels very dampened down, to me at least. at the same time when i do hear it internally i think 'will do.'

those pointed 'merry CHRISTMAS that's right i went there'

yeah this. i'm certain i'm being too hard on ppl who genuinely mean well, but i personally know waaay too many folks (mostly via extended fam and high school folks who've reconnected on facebook) who are gleefully throwing it in the face of this imagined freedom-killing PC bogeyman.

I'm so down on Christmas these days I'd honestly be happier if people didn't impose fucking Christmas on me every year.

http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/glossary/g/Blessed_Be.htm

have you guys done Michael Bickelmeyer yet?

http://2016.republican-candidates.org/Bickelmeyer/

Bickelmeyer is something of a dreamer, and has formulated some creative inventions that are interesting, to say the least. He is particularly proud of three such ideas, which he advocates as important Federal Projects, and for which he is in the process of securing patents. The first is a square shaped airport with steam-heated runways and an industrial facility at the center. The industrial structure would be used for recycling, die casting, and manufacturing.

Uh

The third of Bickelmeyer's concepts is arguably the most noteworthy. In what he calls “a gift for children”, Bickelmeyer proposes an orbital weapons platform that would function by the collection of solar radiation, which would then be magnified and directed to the surface as a lethal beam. He claims that this weapon could potentially be as precise as to eliminate a single personal target, or as broad as to effect entire countries. Bickelmeyer advocates the use of this platform against terrorism and in pursuit of the war on drugs. He stresses that, because this is not a nuclear weapon, there is no danger of radioactive fallout.

I love that websites list of candidates from all parties, in no particular order. And the thumbnail pics of them are wonderful.

that was the plot to the last captain america movie
not that I object to candidates cribbing their platforms from popular films, mind

xpost

Unique set of positions here

http://2016.presidential-candidates.org/Cavanagh/

Waymire is a deeply spiritual person, saying that she learned her faith as a child from a friend only she could see, called Becky. Her mother dismissed this phenomenon as a typical imaginary playmate, but today, as an adult, Waymire still believes Becky was real. She also believes that God has supernaturally intervened in her life on numerous occasions, including by manifesting several graphic and painful stigmata on her head, hands, feet, and side. Having once suffered from Hepatitis C, astigmatism, diabetes, thyroid disease, and rheumatoid arthritis, among a host of other tragic conditions that had her confined to a wheelchair, she says that she has been miraculously healed of all, with doctors unable to offer any rational medical explanation.

http://politicks.org/IMAGES/CANDIDATES/2016/PRESIDENT/index/Doug-Shreffler.gif

Waymire's politics are pleasing to just about any Libertarian ear, making her a good fit not only for adherents of that party but also for many fiscal and social conservatives among Republicans. However, her profoundly supernatural mindset could easily be viewed as irrational by many, raising questions about her clarity of thought and vision.

^^love the summaries

http://politicks.org/IMAGES/CANDIDATES/2016/PRESIDENT/index/Derrick-Michael-Reid.gif

a lot of these folks seem to mean well

"have a blessed day"

If I ever visit Dixie again i will have my broad smile and "hail Satan" ready.

Have never heard of this 'have a blessed day' business; intrigued.

Bless This Satanic Mess, in papyrus italics

I'm setting up a bulletin board on the two upcoming elections, yours and ours, and I googled "Biden running?", hoping to literally get an image of him with a question mark beside him. You get a lot of this instead.

http://images.politico.com/global/news/101006_biden_running_ap_328.jpg

GO JOE GO.

http://i.imgur.com/SGwjFiX.png
http://i.imgur.com/ox8pA8M.png
http://i.imgur.com/0hm3dmN.png

y'know, the country *is* like a bus, it's about time we had someone who knows how to drive one in charge

Middle dude is Toby from The Office, right?

david caruso i thought

Is that Paul Ryan in the black polo and khakis behind Biden running?

biden running shot would do well with a big explosion in the background, or a Transformer attack or something.

biden will keep the country safe

biden loves babies. you just know he does.

Biden softly sings "Be My Baby" to a baby, lending a new menacing meaning to the song

In recent weeks, Mr. Trump has threatened to impose tariffs on American companies that put their factories in other countries. He has threatened to increase taxes on the compensation of hedge fund managers. And he has vowed to change laws that allow American companies to benefit from cheaper tax rates by using mergers to base their operations outside the United States.

Alarmed that those ideas might catch on with some of Mr. Trump’s Republican rivals — as his immigration policies have — the Club for Growth, an anti-tax think tank, is pulling together a team of economists to scrutinize his proposals and calculate the economic impact if he is elected.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/01/us/politics/republicans-wary-of-donald-trumps-populist-tone-on-taxes.html?&moduleDetail=section-news-0&action=click&contentCollection=Politics®ion=Footer&module=MoreInSection&version=WhatsNext&contentID=WhatsNext&pgtype=article

Ha, I figured the Club for Growth already had formulaic answers prepared on how these ideas would be so unfair to the "hard-working" "job-creating" corporate class and the wealthy; and would destroy the economy

Trump continuing to bring the lolz

in other news, fire Debbie Wasserman-Schulz.

obvious anagram Reince Priebus

never gets old

if i didn't read conservatives i don't think i would have ever heard of her

i hate to say she's a dumb hack based only on that but she does seem like a dumb hack. is there an "#actually she's great" take out there?

Every media appearance she sounds like a person for whom English is a third language.

Every single time she's on TV I wish Dems had a better spokesperson.

Inscribe Puree
Bee Crisp Urine
Brie Cure Penis

http://img.lum.dolimg.com/v1/images/General-Grievous_c9df9cb5.jpeg?region=0%2C0%2C1200%2C675&width=768

brie do cure penis

If only we could get Trump to put that on a hat

jesus - https://instagram.com/p/7DdvbEmhWG/

This is from six days ago, so maybe someone posted and I missed it. Just heard about it now on CNN.

http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/25/politics/donald-trump-deadline-third-party-south-carolina/

Trump says tonight that people will be "very happy" with his decision, so presumably he'll be pledging his undying love to the party.

What would happen if he accepts the pledge and then later reneges? What could they do at that point, other than ban him from any future Republican primaries?

http://i.imgur.com/HYAxXgc.jpg

same

That reminds me. Let's check in on our favorite political portraiturist:

http://faithmouse.blogspot.com/2015/06/ted-cruz-pancake-suit-of-armor-painting.html

http://faithmouse.blogspot.com/2015/03/three-hillary-clinton-red-white-blue.html

I kinda dig the second one.

Ben Carson even with Donald Trump in Iowa: poll
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/aug/31/ben-carson-even-donald-trump-iowa-poll/