a clown car full of millionaires: the 2016 presidential primary thread

from your mom iirc

I think we all share some DNA with Deez Nuts.

International conventions require commas inside quotation marks iirc

xp now you know what the DN stands for son

it's so awful though everybody otm

like can't i with the full protection of the law with no court in a position to judge me smuggle exclamation marks into other people's mouths

If I put some Nuts in a poll would I have pollnuts?

what the fuck

https://twitter.com/SamanthaJoRoth/status/634780959334899712

mh where are you on this

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/video/ellen-page-grills-ted-cruz-iowa-state-fair-33231356

exchange is some sad hypothetical debate team shit that has no bearing on anything of course

ie "what if we forced a gay florist to provide flowers to an evangelical wedding" etc.

I feel like gay florists have provided flowers to many evangelical weddings

what are the odds

and so many marriages end in divorce!!

WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT?!?!

sorry, i was channeling ted cruz there

although i forgot to somehow tie it into ISIS and "liberal intolerance"

I feel like 80% of Cruz's public persona is overcompensation for how terrible his voice is.

He looks like a guy wearing a mask to me. Not metaphorically- I'm saying he looks like he's preparing to rob a bank.

and how terrible his hair is, how much he looks like a man who retains an intensive amount of water...

He just looks hastily cobbled together, generally speaking.

... how big a load he just dumped into the pants he's wearing... xp

Transcript for Ellen Page Grills Ted Cruz at Iowa State Fair
Michael. For example one. And hey yeah. It's sort. Celebrating the do you. They lay off their. He'll evangelical Christian. What might disagree with your state idol. Provide. They gave the president every right to say I didn't agree with your face and no one pretends it. Phillies wrap. That stands anymore and care. Thing right now he. His execution. We silence. About it ran. Helpless thank thank you feel punishment me but you know hundred billion dollar. More liquid. Islamic terrorists and ice. There are nine. They're not more relieved than. That's when a community like him. Rainy game fried brain. Mercury people there are people it would. But it ran a nice as. He did governmental body it is. That network freedom. We're we're.

This transcript has been automatically generated and may not be 100% accurate.

Glad to see that Wm Burroughs is settling nicely into his new career in transcription services.

Ted Cruz '16: Celebrating The Do You

What might disagree with your state idol. Provide.

"Rainy game fried brain" by zombie gordon lightfoot

I didn't agree with your face and no one pretends it. Phillies wrap.

should have been fetty wap obv

man Bernie Taupin sure could write bad lyrics

He looks like a guy wearing a mask to me. Not metaphorically- I'm saying he looks like he's preparing to rob a bank.

So you're saying he looks ... ex-presidential?
https://img0.etsystatic.com/023/0/8320049/il_570xN.476640876_ea1a.jpg

lol Alfred

ted cruz looks like mr bean

Cmon Mr. Bean is a total beav compared to Ted Cruz

If the word "unctuous" didn't exist we'd have to coin it just for Cruz.

Helpless thank thank you feel punishment me but you know hundred billion dollar.

my former editor compared Cruz to

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a3/4d/7e/a34d7eed4ba825b017ae7764fb257320.jpg

That's about right. Except creepier and more ass-kissy, like a courtier who thinks if he flatters and/or kills the right people he'll become king himself.

He looks like a guy wearing a mask to me. Not metaphorically- I'm saying he looks like he's preparing to rob a bank.

So you're saying he looks ... ex-presidential?

https://img0.etsystatic.com/023/0/8320049/il_570xN.476640876_ea1a.jpg

― Josh in Chicago, Friday, August 21, 2015 3:19 PM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Exactly. He looks just like some guy wearing that Reagan mask... which is probably really good for his campaign tbh

I always wonder if it occurs to those guys how little Reagan means to half the country

It does, and that's part of why they're so angry: they can sense that their ideas are not widely shared and that their politics is not a general-election winner - and that pisses them off. They wish they could get a different electorate.

To be fair, so do liberals a lot of the time.

from the NYT story about the Mobile rally:

“Hopefully, he’s going to sit there and say, ‘When I become elected president, what we’re going to do is we’re going to make the border a vacation spot, it’s going to cost you $25 for a permit, and then you get $50 for every confirmed kill,’ ” said Jim Sherota, 53, who works for a landscaping company. “That’d be one nice thing.”

Fuckin a

I looked at his Facebook page, it's mostly celebratory links about people getting killed while committing crimes and pictures of guns he wants to buy

I tried to find that quote & didn't see it - link?

found it, good god

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/22/us/donald-trump-fails-to-fill-alabama-stadium-but-fans-zeal-is-undiminished.html?&moduleDetail=section-news-1&action=click&contentCollection=Politics®ion=Footer&module=MoreInSection&version=WhatsNext&contentID=WhatsNext&pgtype=article

"we’re going to make the border a vacation spot, it’s going to cost you $25 for a permit, and then you get $50 for every confirmed kill,’

Countdown to a Banksy billboard on the border. 10 ... 9 ... 8 ...

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/08/21/why-evangelicals-worship-trump.html

I watched about 20 minutes of Trump yesterday. At no point will he be attacked for reliance on a teleprompter. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite so stream-of-consciousness.