Bait My Clickhole

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-moms-doing-their-best-transgender-movement-2812

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-metallica-songs-have-you-heard-2905

the Armageddon write-up has me laughing like a drain

fantastic metallica songs!

“Ominous Cup”

irl lols here: http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-magic-school-bus-books-have-you-rea-2980

The Magic School Bus Sucks A Boa Constrictor Into Its Tailpipe Like Spaghetti

Ouch! Looks like you aren’t a fan of the Magic School Bus series at all. You missed out on all the adventures of Ms. Frizzle and her class when you were growing up, from The Magic School Bus Inside The Mind Of Philip Glass to The Magic School Bus Has To Take Lincoln To Ford’s Theatre. Too bad.

http://www.clickhole.com/article/someone-overdubbed-godfather-donkey-kong-soundtrac-2894

This is so good.

http://www.clickhole.com/article/lucky-be-alive-harrison-ford-had-be-rescued-after--2901

a good article but nothing that follows can live up to the sentence "From what we know right now, Ford entered the office supply manufacturing facility early yesterday afternoon after having smelled what he thought was pie."

Will You Kiss My Friend Parthik?

You Will Not Kiss My Friend Parthik!

Oh, no! You’re not going to kiss Parthik! Why? He tried to make the world so romantic for you and you rejected him with the cruel heart of a mean monster. How terrible! Now, loneliness will blanket Parthik like snow in the night. Parthik will drown in his solitude, and only I will remember him. You have mean, stingy lips. Amen.

Sex-Positive Culture Still Has A Long Way To Go Before It Catches Up With My Weird And Baffling Penis

Please know that it’s not my intention to undermine the significant impact that the sex-positive movement has had on our culture. I’m simply saying that we still have a few more decades to go before we as a society can accept my cock, which looks like M.C. Escher tried to paint the Holocaust.

stunning

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/you-are-worlds-greatest-computer-hacker-2945

this might be the best one yet

its a tour de force

http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-asked-22-lifeguards-about-life-they-most-regret-3051

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/americas-mad-scientist-24-hours-elon-musk-3015

The lifeguard one is masterful.

www.clickhole.com/slideshow/next-week-clickhole-3067#slide2

http://i.imgur.com/MPTSU3H.jpg

Roberts is famous for refusing to learn the name of anyone in the cast or crew of the projects she works on, instead using the name “Marco Tungsten” for all men and “Marca Tungsten” for all women. “I’m just being nice,” said the Pretty Woman star when asked about her behavior. “Those names are the ones people should have.”

http://www.onionstudios.com/videos/how-to-make-your-hair-look-wet-3122 omg

http://www.clickhole.com/article/whoa-jk-rowling-just-revealed-philip-seymour-hoffm-3083

O_O

oh my...

http://www.clickhole.com/article/princess-diana-3106

omg was not ready for gta piano car to pop up

this gave me a few hearty chuckles

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-things-people-tattoos-are-tired-hearing-3105

Well done! By using operant conditioning and an intermittent reward schedule, you have made your dad talk to you about the weather at your whim. Because he does not know when you will reward him with a peanut, he is conditioned to talk to you for at least as long as you have peanuts, like a slobbering dog.

Congratulations

https://www.facebook.com/clickhole/photos/a.1461385317435063.1073741828.1439042583002670/1544772042429723/?type=3

didn't some ilxor do a version of this at some point

also i always love the ones with carefully prepared accompanying photographs

http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-secret-mcdonalds-menu-items-you-have-order-888

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/can-you-keep-conversation-your-dad-3097#8,

oh my godddddddd this is incredible, the matchstick men thread is amazing

brilliant

“This next one takes place in the mind of Stonewall Jackson. The main character is Percy, a blood clot who is determined to kill Stonewall Jackson, because Percy was born in Boston and supports the Union. Opposing him is Martha, Stonewall Jackson’s amygdala, who was born in Atlanta and is a scintillating and voluptuous Southern belle. The two end up falling in love—but a bullet has other plans.”

Probably some high school groundskeeper will heave open a floodlight breaker box switch to reveal a nighttime astroturf oasis of cold aluminum bleachers and steamed human bodies primed for sport while in the pitch-black crop fields a solemn figure performs the homecoming dance alone to himself.

http://www.starwipe.com/

HLN appears to be the cable news equivalent of clickhole

starwipe on first perusal... :/

What a beautiful, beautiful name for a tabloid.

I thought for a second that starwipe was a clickhole parody of a terrible clickhole rip-off, but it really is a terrible clickhole rip-off, right?

Finally learned who the fuck Tyler Fucking Oakley is.

I lold a bit

Gavin Rossdale Needs Half Of Gwen Stefani’s Money Even Though I Bought Two Copies Of Sixteen Stone

I thought for a second that starwipe was a clickhole parody of a terrible clickhole rip-off, but it really is a terrible clickhole rip-off, right?

― soref, Wednesday, September 30, 2015 4:00 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Neither, it's an actual Onion site.

http://www.clickhole.com/article/these-third-graders-letters-their-teacher-about-ho-3042

http://www.clickhole.com/article/11-things-all-women-who-lift-weights-are-sick-hear-3216

"Will you sign a poster for my young feminist son, Charbon?"

The puzzle of this is thought of in basic biology and Egg science, and it’s obvious. The house of the water of an Egg is contained within the shackles of two halves of a stone bone prison in regard to an Egg, and it’s the wet desert inside of it that floods it until it becomes dry or, to put it another way, it makes the Egg happen until we understand why it came from it (them) to do it to us, as an Egg in both ways and one of the famous styles. Thanks for asking!

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/what-your-knowledge-egg-3213

http://www.clickhole.com/video/thought-provoking-video-shows-what-world-would-be--3246

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CRYQBGXUcAIOfYP.jpg

http://clickotron.com/

All articles on Click-o-Tron are written by a Recurrent Neural Network, a technology from artificial intelligence research that is well suited to generating text. While some stories are clearly nonsense, others may appear to make sense. They probably don't though – no human was involved in writing any of these. Since these stories are dreamed up by a computer algorithm, they are essentially fiction and overlap with reality only incidentally.

incredible

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/can-you-keep-conversation-your-dad-3097#8,

oh my godddddddd this is incredible, the matchstick men thread is amazing

― zoso def (m bison), Sunday, September 27, 2015 4:05 PM (2 weeks ago)

i really just want to repost this in case it was missed by anyone. because i can't breathe rn

http://clickotron.com/
― can't stop won't stop chooglin (how's life), Saturday, October 17, 2015 12:24 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Amazing.

http://clickotron.com/images/23382769main.jpg