The most interesting pieces of soccerball trivia you know (that are 100% false)

54. Stewart Downing? Fuck off.

55. Gil-Scott Heron's dad's tenure at Celtic was only the tip of the 'late 60s/early 70s black musical revolutionaries with Scottish footballing connections' iceberg. Albert Ayler's aunt spent two years as a madam in Dundee FC's onsite brothel, while no less than four of The Last Poets' mates from school appeared in a St Mirren-Kilmarnock match in 1971

56. The footballs used in the 1962 World Cup were designed by Salvador Dali. Goalkeepers complained that they were too light and moved unpredictably in the air. Also that they had teeth.

57. Niall Quinn likes to steal from the sweet jar in the corner shop while the shopkeeper is busy counting out panini stickers

59. Yahtzee was originally developed as a pre-pools panel method of determining the score of postponed games. It was abandoned when the first result it came up with saw Aston Villa beat Fulham 259-38.

60. Never go on a camping holiday with Stan Collymore.

61. The first tie to be decided on penalty kicks was the 1968 Fairs Cup quarter final between Leeds United and The Art Ensemble of Chicago

62. Winners of the Raich Carter Trophy automatically qualify for the latter stages of the UEFA cup

63. Instead of listening to The Shins, the original script of Garden State called for Zach Braff to gave in amazement at a poster of Rui Costa, a scene that was later changed due to strained relationships between the US and Portugal.

64. Roy Keane is building an Irish international "skin suit" from the bodies of his signings, for him to wear at Sunderland matches.

65. Jack Charlton is a close personal friend of Elton John's.

66. Fabio Capello has no political leanings to the Far-Right whatsoever. oh no siree.

67. Mild-mannered Yeovil loanee Zoltan Stieber finds physical compliments so awkward to deal with that he wears soiled tracksuit bottoms everywhere and frequently daubs anti-semitic slogans and pictures of mutilated cats on his forehead and chest in Tipp-Ex.

68. King of the long throw-in Dave Challinor once did a throw-in so big that it cleared the other side of the pitch and knocked a ballboy unconscious. Unfortunately, this was during his international debut for England against Sweden in 1994. Challinor was so traumatised by the incident that he was immediately substituted and transferred to Bury, thus effectively ending the career of England's most promising centre-back since the war.

69. Graham Taylor was only offered the England job in order to hush up his discovery that all Aston Villa players were contractually forbidden to pass to Tony Daley more than two times per match.

70. The legendary sloping pitch at Easter Road was actually caused by the one-time St Mirren front pairing of Mark Yardley and Barry Lavety jumping for a high ball at the same time and landing simultaneously, thereby causing a sizeable movement of the tectonic plates underneath Edinburgh.

71. The story recently in the news involving a young goth couple thrown off a bus due to one walking the other around on a lead was a heavily disguised version of a similar story, quashed by Arsenal's legal team, involving Theo Walcott and Jens Lehmann. It is not known which player performed which role

72. Concerned colleagues and fans of Paul Merson recently staged an unofficial testimonial match in his honour, raising £132,000 to help the troubled star fight his financial difficulties. Overcome with gratitude, Merson immediately bet the entire sum on Brock Lesnar defeating Frank Mir at UFC 81.

73. Frank Mir is now expected to challenge Steve Howard at UFC83: Full Throttle.

74. Ever since moving to England to play for Chelsea, Petr Čech has become a massive fan of the Australian soap drama "Neighbours" and is hoping to score a cameo role as a randy Czech backpacker looking to score with some Aussie girls on Ramsay Street.

75. Wayne Rooney has shagged your mum

76. Yakubu was born in 1982.

77. All of the above are 100% false

78. The most viewed Youtube clip in Hungary is of Tamás Priskin lip-synching along to "Anthem For The Year 2000" by Silverchair.

79. Arsene Wenger's real name is Paul Wenger, but, being highly superstitious, he changes his forename in honour of which ever football club he is involved in:

At Strasbourg he was known as Lee Wenger
At Monaco, Hooky Wenger
At Grampus Eight, "Gramps" Wenger

The one exception to the rule was the three years he spent managing AS Nancy.

80. Middlesbrough player Lee Cattermole is a cross between a cat and a mole.

81. Massimo Maccarone was most renowned for his ability to pass ta ball

82. Michael Stewart once got a little crazy but he never yeehaw.

83. Wanderers FC player Charles Alcock, later chairman of the FA, accompanied his zoologist father on a trip to Queensland, Australia and brought back a stuffed wombat which was given pride of place in the club's dressing room. His twin brother Roderick dressed up in a costume resembling the wombat and paraded up and down the field at half time, earning himself a place in the histiry books as the first ever club mascot.

84. Jules Rimet was Lister's room-mate in Red Dwarf

85. Oldham Athletic's original nickname was "The Smiths" but was dropped after the 1983-84 season after Joe Royle was hit in the face by a wayward bunch of gladoli thrown by a group of black clad teenagers.

86. Struggling against loneliness and the language barrier when he moved to Celtic, Stiliyan Petrov passed the time by firebombing burger vans. A tearful Petrov vowed to halt the practice when an overthrown Molotov cocktail cleared his intended target and destroyed Glasgow's only Subway restaurant.

87. Your younger cousin's favourite TV funnyman, Julian Barrett, ran with Cardiff's notorious Soul Crew in the late 90s, and is actually banned from all British football grounds after a string of public order convictions.

88. Wycombe Wanderers' boss Paul Lambert is the voice of the speaking clock.

89. Duncan Bannatyne is really only the public face of his business interests, and all actual decisions relating to his so-called business empire are actually made by the real power there, Reuben Sosa.

90. During Glenn Hoddle's inaugural match as Southampton manager, he was angrily berated by his mother for chewing gum with his mouth open.

91 David Corbett, owner of Pickles, filmed a pilot for a television puppet show to rival that created by his brother Harry H. Unfortunately the nation was not ready for a stop-motion taxidermy show, even if its canine "star" had been a national hero whilst alive.

92. Stelios Giannakopoulos came from Greece and had a thirst for knowledge - he studied sculpture at Saint Martin's College.

93. Jimmy Bullard took Stelios to the supermarket, he didn't know why but he had to start it somewhere, so he started there.

94. Ruud Gullit inserted his erect penis into a football live during coverage of World Cup '98 with slightly embarrassing results.

95. Mido has a penchant for riding a Lambretta scooter and listening to the music of The Animals, The Small Faces and The Who - his monicker came about as he thought it was the most euphonic acronym of "I, Mod".

96. Nicky Butt prefers to call himself Nicholas and doesn't understand why people snigger at his full name.

97. Dave Kitson's unlikely career as a football hero was almost scuppered by his father Mike Batt's insistence that he follow him into the music industry. A youthful Kitson reluctantly contributed the lyrics to the Mansun songs "Railings" and "Everyone Must Win", the latter a bruising plea to his father to let him pursue his own dreams, before Batt relented.

98. Ray Stubbs is widely rumoured to have been the man who first alerted Christian Voice to the existence of Jerry Springer: The Opera.

99. Garth Crooks has some talent

100. Ray Parlour Jr. who you gonna call?

101. Michael Dawson is a failed basketball player. Whenever he is reponsible for a Tottenham defeat he can be found in his bedroom, loudly sobbing apologies to an enormous picture of Patrick Ewing.

102. Andy Cole's rap single "Outstanding" was a number one hit in Latvia.

103. Thanks to US ringtone sensation Soulja Boy, the hot new slang amongst American teens is "Paul Jewell that ho", an act involving taking a girl out to a pleasant meal at Pizza Express.

104. Ron Atkinson became the first person to make a Mansun reference on British television in 1998, commenting that Wimbledon winger Neal Ardley "needs a wide open space - he's freezing in that right-back position". Clive Tyldesley's response: "It'll be Joe Kinnear's Taxloss if he doesn't sort that out..."