shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

Man Sues Restaurant Known for Throwing Dinner Rolls After Being Hit by Bread

I mean...

http://i.imgur.com/oVsLMsV.jpg

http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/morris-dancers-blind-footballers-brawl/
"Morris dancers and blind footballers in mass brawl"

Aw crap I didnt read that one closely, its a satire. NM.

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/aug/21/jonathan-franzen-considered-adopting-iraqi-orphan-young-people

needs to give his editor a raise imo

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/aug/25/never-date-a-man-who-hates-beyonce?CMP=twt_gu

plausibly this is intentionally Onion-esque in its delivery, at the least I think this dude is adopting a persona, but it's presented as sincere so

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/08/us/politics/hillary-clinton-to-show-more-humor-and-heart-aides-say.html?&moduleDetail=section-news-3&action=click&contentCollection=Politics®ion=Footer&module=MoreInSection&version=WhatsNext&contentID=WhatsNext&pgtype=article

"And there will be new efforts to bring spontaneity to a candidacy that sometimes seems wooden and overly cautious" is just a taste of the comedy within

Chris Brown bails on gay pride appearance because gay men were present

While totally applicable to the thread on title alone, I bet the onion would reject that article if a writer pitched it to them becuz it requires accepting that chris brown has a lesbian segment of his fanbase

Like this could be an onion headline and "Chris brown entertains lesbian dance party at pride" could be an onion headline

http://www.vox.com/2015/9/9/9275611/victorian-era-life

can't wait til they die of consumption

Gabriel's workout clothes were copied from the racing outfit of a Victorian cyclist, and when he goes swimming, his hand-knit wool swim trunks raise more than a few eyebrows — but this is just the least of the abuse we've taken. We have been called "freaks," "bizarre," and an endless slew of far worse insults. We've received hate mail telling us to get out of town and repeating the word "kill ... kill ... kill." Every time I leave home I have to constantly be on guard against people who try to paw at and grope me. Dealing with all these things and not being ground down by them, not letting other people's hostile ignorance rob us of the joy we find in this life — that is the hard part. By comparison, wearing a Victorian corset is the easiest thing in the world.

btw, "kill...kill...kill" is not a single word

I take some small comfort in assuming she doesn't vote

so this is a trending topic now; feeling trolled

I love my fantasies so much I decided to live in them. Nothing new in that.

She's got a website

" The late Victorian era was an incredibly dynamic time, with so many new and extraordinary inventions it seemed anything was possible. Interacting with tangible items from that time helps us connect with and share that optimism."

ah but then who is the real Victorian, someone who wears woollen Speedos or the businessman with his iPhone and Eggmaster?

optimism & innovation was the Victorian era's death knell

Oh man my colleague is a Victorianist and just posted on Facebook that he's set up an interview with these people.

if they were that deep in the game she would have called them poison pen letters instead of hate mail

Great that these people aren't smart enough to know there's probably an 80-90% chance that in the Victorian era they would have lived in a filthy slum and died early of sulphur poisoning, not been members of the fucking leisure class.

Not everyone necessarily wants to live the same lifestyle we have chosen, of course. But anyone can benefit from choices that increase their awareness of their surroundings and the way things they use every day affect them.

"I'm so aware of my surroundings and the world we live in that I use ancient inefficient lightbulbs and burn kerosene right in my house!"

This is why more people don't follow their dreams: They know the world is a cruel place for anyone who doesn't fit into the dominant culture.

No, most people have to work for a fucking living.

if they were that deep in the game she would have called them poison pen letters instead of hate mail

― Hector Ringtone (DJ Mencap), Thursday, September 10, 2015 3:33 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha, otm!

https://twitter.com/myfoxla/status/643519513745559553

because cheerleading is all about triggering PTSD!

They're called cheerLEADERS, not cheerFOLLOWERS.

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/sep/20/teen-prosecuted-naked-images-himself-phone-selfies

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/poles-furious-after-russia-blames-them-for-starting-wwii/2015/09/26/0da28620-644a-11e5-8475-781cc9851652_story.html

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/capital-weather-gang/wp/2014/06/02/female-named-hurricanes-kill-more-than-male-because-people-dont-respect-them-study-finds

omg. for this thread i give it an A+

Plastic Bags Chaos Looms

(front page of daily mail today, in letters an inch high)

the front page headline of the local boston paper is about a commuter train that now has a slightly less direct route into the city. i guess nothing is happening in the world.

http://www.donotlink.com/gy14

^ilx should use donotlink more often.
it's a link from elite daily: "Don’t Impress Me With ‘Something Different’, Just Take Me to Dinner"

> ^ilx should use donotlink more often.

and get popups asking you to rate stuff? no thanks.

"In one click, how would you describe this elitedaily.com page or article?
Great Interesting Nonsense Offensive Dangerous"

http://www.citylab.com/navigator/2015/10/for-5-this-startup-will-cancel-comcast-for-you/409870/

xp small price to pay not to give douchebags the traffic imo

Airplane Passengers Will Be Stacked On Top Of Each Other In Airbus Patent

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/44/African_slave_ship_diagram.jpg

my favorite reddit thread xd

http://fox4kc.com/2015/10/08/man-who-calls-police-to-say-hes-too-high-found-in-pile-of-doritos/

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CRTMKKVUcAAlCT5.png

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/2371c36fd51d41789532bee499f63ddc/zoo-meerkat-expert-sentenced-over-assault-monkey-handler

omg, claiming the dn

http://www.wcvb.com/news/death-notes-book-found-in-nashua-school-raises-concerns/35809048

this requires a single google search people
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00YC1YDME

hahahaha

"I pray with every ounce of my being that it's never something that would turn into a tragedy," Charest said. "But how do you know it wouldn't? How do you know this isn't the beginning of a tragic situation?"