iyo did facebook ruin the internet?

i got appropriately called out by a friend recently for getting mad when she didn't respond to a series of links i thought she would like via pm. we have exchanged stuff before and it wasn't just random, it was stuff that i thought she would like based on her proclaimed twitter enthusiasms. i saw she had "seen" the message and not responded for about half a day and i was like "ok well that's just RUDE" and got a bit pass-agg abt it and she wrapped my knuckles over it. we're not even really friends irl but share several similar interests and fb friends. i tried to excuse it at first but then i was like ykw i'm just being an asshole and apologised. still f that "seen" function sucks and its potential for all sorts of tension regarding acknowledgement or reciprocity. there almost is an etiquette there but there isn't and you can't or are not supposed to bring it up. which is diff from the guy who duly expects a courtesy like before commenting but cringily similar.

i was severely sleep deprived at the time so not really thinking clearly about the possibilities for lack of response and most importantly that she had absolutely no obligation to respond, but it didn't make me feel like any less of a dick. she called me out on twitter too (except not by name) then took down the tweet but not before a few of her followers were like "omg rude". that sucked, even if i thought it had probably happened to them in some way and the way she had characterised it made it seem more like an unsolicited spamming instead of a continuation of occasional engagement via entertaining stuff. gah i'm terrible at engaging w ppl on the internet sometimes.

still f that "seen" function sucks and its potential

half the time people don't like stuff is cos FB LIke invites often get shipped off to Narnia where you forget about em.

also..any post that begins "IF U DON'T LIKE IT, U CAN DEFRIEND ME, BUT...."

haven't used facebook in 10 months. major depression? way down. my anxiety disorder? way, way down.

i don't really see using it as a sustainable way of communicating anymore. it only brings out feelings of isolation, dread and listlessness. the people who swear by it as the utmost form of social interaction in the modern age are also just playing into their own bullshit for the most part

this all sounds pretty cynical but i'd just like to reiterate how relaxing it is to not have that ball and chain on my ankle anymore

I don't know many people who proclaim love for Facebook, there just seem to be those who are free and those who wish they were free.

yeah, i wouldn't say there's much enthusiasm around staring at what is essentially the internet equivalent of a yellow phone book. it's more like "well i've built this empire... let's just lay in it"

which could be perceived as selfish among other things. or maybe just this stagnancy people my age or younger have these days to stay put. especially if you're not living in a city

i can't help but long for things to be more free all around

guys its just Facebook I mean rly

like

I find myself posting up a lot of opinion / current affairs / political /ideological stuff but forget that there's an audience of 800+ on my feed who maybe don't appreciate or simply aren't interested in any of that. But as a way to exorcise certain demons or get things off my chest with regards to how I feel about the world, it's too tempting. Plus these are topics that don't get hashed out as easily face to face - either people avoid politics talk or they're too polite to give thoughtful or challenging replies etc.

yeah those people probably aren't getting you in their news feed though

true. the other thing is i do a shitload of event and band spammage on my feed. like, it's relevant because it's local, and relevant to my life because it's a project i'm involved with - a band thing or a night i'm putting on. but i wouldnt' be surprised if a lot of people have unfollowed me either because of lefty soapboxing or unadulterated plugging.

surely you have all seen this popular internet image:

http://s5.favim.com/orig/140708/audrey-hepburn-breakfast-couple-facebook-Favim.com-1898667.jpg

hahahahaha

i don't understand the 'likes' a disturbing/sad/bad news link gets. why would i 'like' an article about a family of 5 killed in a house fire?

pls to change 'i love you' to 'i love it when a plan comes together' on that img thx

Sometimes my bf clicks like on miserable posts of mine but he's taking the piss and I know he is, the scamp.

Do "life events" get prioritized in terms of showing up more frequently/prominently in fb feeds?

yes, posting 'congratulations' is a way to juice a post in the algorithm

i think i might start posting about shows by my band as "life events" then

and if "everyone" starts doing this, then what will the algorithm do?

Yeah I have a few unfollowed friends who still show in my feed when the post is about wedding anniversary, death or similar. How the %^$% it knows...

My neice, the other day - got her drivers licence. How and why would FB know thats worth showing me when I hid her posts? All shes doing is holding up an L plate with "oh nooooo" underneath.

haven't used facebook in 10 months. major depression? way down. my anxiety disorder? way, way down.

i don't really see using it as a sustainable way of communicating anymore. it only brings out feelings of isolation, dread and listlessness. the people who swear by it as the utmost form of social interaction in the modern age are also just playing into their own bullshit for the most part

this all sounds pretty cynical but i'd just like to reiterate how relaxing it is to not have that ball and chain on my ankle anymore

― hackshaw, Wednesday, August 5, 2015 11:23 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I don't know many people who proclaim love for Facebook, there just seem to be those who are free and those who wish they were free.

― five six and (man alive), Wednesday, August 5, 2015 11:38 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i need to get off of FB. would my depression and anxiety vanish altogether? no way to tell, but i'd probably be somewhat happier.

I'm really enjoying the new-ish trend of people posting "life events" like "Ray and Max have been friends for 10 months" though

there just seem to be those who are free and those who wish they were free.

Judging from everything I've read here on ILX, I have never seriously questioned the wisdom of my refusal to join facebook. Of course, it also helps that I have the personal habits of a hermit.

i would say it's beneficial in maybe finding out what you like about the world? or yourself. we're sorta engineered these days to be "plugged in" twenty four seven and if you don't take a break and just fucking think, everything starts becoming overwhelming.

my anxiety has gone down about 90%, and this is coming from a dude who has almost-seven panic attacks a day. all of this has to do with how your living your life currently though, i can only speak for myself.

but yes, i think it's urgent that anyone else feeling this way takes a break.

i quit fb because it was bumming me out about my miserable life compared to all my happening friends, then i got back on it because i was in desperate straits, and since then i've grown to hate it again but barely have any regular social contact and can hardly countenance giving up on its digital crumbs again, plus what if i'm in desperate straits again, i can hardly plead for help if i haven't been juicing the ol social machine at least somewhat

in the period where i had quit it completely i was still relatively tethered to the interweb but way less so than i had been for a good handful of years. way less anxious about it, etc. - i highly recommend escaping if you can

I'm really enjoying the new-ish trend of people posting "life events" like "Ray and Max have been friends for 10 months" though

― RAP GAME SHANI DAVIS (Raymond Cummings), Thursday, August 6, 2015 7:24 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

On the flipside of this, I find the "memories" feature to be deeply sad. "Remember five years ago when you were STILL WASTING YOUR LIFE ON FACEBOOK?"

I just uploaded a huge load of photos from 2003-2009 to Facebook. It was strange.

Like, I was tagging people I haven't had any interaction with in the best part of a decade. In a way it was a cool way to reconnect with friends who'd drifted away, in another it was nostalgic and bittersweet, in other ways I was like 'do I even know this person any more; do they even remember me??'

I would be pretty annoyed and creeped out if someone I hadn't seen in years started tagging me in things. I don't like tagging in general though.

I figured it would be better to do a couple of tags just so they knew they were in the photos. You can always untag or even ask for photos to be taken down. I did mark the album 'old old old old photos'

'just so you know, i'm putting data pertaining to you into the maw of the internet identity monster, no big, go ahead and piddle away your lunch hour trying to undo it if you want, course the pictures stay no matter what'

gave up facebook about 4-5 years ago and my social circle has most definitely shrunk and I feel left out of a lot of things. no regrets though because I felt left out of more when I was on it. I do feel like the future will have some "time machine"-eque social partition between those locked into social media and those with some desire climb their way out of the cave. more surprised that there hasn't been some Luddite revival, but then how would I hear about it?

Facebook seems like a decent way to keep in touch with people, I just kind of hate it as a content provider. But I guess I wasn't thinking that that's what it would become when I signed up in 2006 and added everyone I'd ever met. I don't really care about most of those people, and I definitely don't trust a large portion of them to be interesting or compelling, even the ones whom I like IRL. Most of the time when I log into Facebook, it all seems pretty banal, even (perhaps especially) the political/social/cultural commentary. I prefer Twitter because the rationale I have for following people is that their tweets look interesting and I want to see them in my timeline. I like following people whom I don't know personally but who provide quality content. I know I could curate Facebook to be more like Twitter, by weeding out the boring elementary-school friends, and I probably should, honestly. It just seems exhausting.

ryan:

https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-58lMv4vkgng/UYrF_NDSZqI/AAAAAAAADFM/zyo-ojzxdCY/w958-h719-no/IMG_20130508_000326.jpg

ha. and sadly I would never notice that because I'd be looking at twitter or whatever. born free, everywhere staring at an iphone.

I miss the days when FB's mobile was so degraded in functionality from the web version that I didn't even bother to try using it when I was away from home.

'just so you know, i'm putting data pertaining to you into the maw of the internet identity monster, no big, go ahead and piddle away your lunch hour trying to undo it if you want, course the pictures stay no matter what'

― j., Friday, August 7, 2015 9:31 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this seems kind of out of whack. i mean maybe you're right in a way. but i mean... a major thing people actually use facebook for is tagging each other in photos? and doing 'throwback' posts of old ones? and sharing memories and so forth? like it is one of the actual kinda legitimate ways of using this dumb website.

but i'm biased of course in that i've also been posting a ton of retrography in the last few days and have a bunch more cued up. i was a big people-photographer back in the day. some people get a kick out of 'em. probably some don't. it's very possible some or many of the people tagged are rolling their eyes or not even noticing. but that could be true of non-retro photos of present-day stuff too. is posting anything at all of friends and good times just feeding the internet identity monster?

yes obv

post only enemies having bad times and you win

photographing people was always a violation, it was just relatively limited in consequences until the photographs started getting dumped into the datasphere

facebork uses your inherent narcissism wrt your life and the lives in your social circle to stop you from considering those consequences and how they affect you versus how they benefit facebork

diddums

it is pretty strange to have never been a fber and there are still hundreds of photos of me on the site w/ ppl commenting and liking away

like me to my face or don't like me at all imo

(imagines processional of people walking up to ogmor, flicking him on the forehead, and screaming "LIKE!")

that just sounds like a totally normal day to me

trending:

plague

dude from a few weeks ago who whined about my non-like FB status posts this doozy today:

"If you comment on a post without liking it you are placing yourself in one of the following categories:

1. I'm here to be contrarian and I don't want to be part of the conversation.

2. I'm here to be antagonistic and I don't want to be part of the conversation.

3. I genuinely disagree with you and I want to start a debate that may change my mind. (Rare as fuck)

4. I just want to say something dickish. I don't like you and I only keep you on fb to remind you of that cause my life is sad as fuck.

5. LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

6. Tagging someone who could be a REAL DICK In this conversation because I'm afraid to be.

7. I just want the notifications of people being any of the above to you or your statement because I hate books."

aaaaaaaaaaaand, done with you

haha if a 'friend' of mine did that i would so troll the fuck out of it