Worst TV adverts of the moment

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Coke Zero tastes like someone has put toothpaste in an ordinary can of Coke.... avoid!!

There's one horrific ad where a cat is walking around a bath-tub with an irritating Yorkshire bumpkin voiceover blaring stuff like "Oscar lahks to play around me bath! And ya just gotta laugh, when he sniffs round that plug'ole!". Ugh.

And also "It's better to get Curanail than be a Criminail!". Words fail me.

― JTS (JTS), Sunday, 16 July 2006 01:11 (nineteen years ago)

the Ford commercials with the old man who won american idols

the anti-smoking ads they run here in NY with the tracheotomy guy.

― Jimmy Mod: NOIZE BOARD GRIL COMPARISON ANALYST (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Sunday, 16 July 2006 02:06 (nineteen years ago)

Fuck the Esure mouse with a great big rusty pole.

― chap who would dare to start Raaatpackin (chap), Sunday, 16 July 2006 11:53 (nineteen years ago)

“When the doctor first told me…” - At the risk of sounding like an insensitive asshole, I cant fucking stand those ‘Exclusive Kylie Interview’ ads they have been running constantly on the sky channels. Ok, it sucks that you got cancer and everything but do I really want to hear you vent about it before, during and after every Simpsons episode? What makes them worse is that fucking woman interviewer trying to put on a face of careful consideration and understanding, complete with thoughtful head tilt, when really she just comes across as gormless moron who isn’t really listening. Actually, I don’t blame her.

Oh yeah and ‘you think you look the business, she thinks you look like a cocksucker. REACT.’ Fuck off.

― Mark Lane (bob2), Monday, 17 July 2006 01:11 (nineteen years ago)

tracheotomy guy pisses me off so much

xpost

― nervous (cochere), Monday, 17 July 2006 01:35 (nineteen years ago)

the anti-smoking ads they run here in NY with the tracheotomy guy.

OH GOD. We have one like that down here. It is a woman with--I guess it is a tracheotomy, it is really just a plug for the hole in her neck--and she talks about smoking and then TAKES OUT THE PLUG and talks through her scary neck hole and I have to change the channel every time it comes on because it freaks me out so much. :ccc I WILL NEVER SMOKE AGAIN.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Monday, 17 July 2006 01:44 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

Impossibly bright voice: "Everything in the world has a pulse...and now... so does a toothbrush!!!"

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... *looks round*... uhhhhhhhhhhh ... exsqueeze me?

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:13 (nineteen years ago)

not because it's that bad but because it's been going for years: the one with the garage rock s/t where the cars play hide-and-seek.

also, obviously: 'the toast you never butter, the thread you never pwn...'

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:17 (nineteen years ago)

that Jennifer Saunders Barclaycard one. FUCK. OFF.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:25 (nineteen years ago)

fuckin a.

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:28 (nineteen years ago)

why isn't she in a hopsital with that schizophrenic behaviour?

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:30 (nineteen years ago)

the pc world advert where the students and the sales person are discussing dual core processors.

"being students i bet you're not used to doing two things at once are you"

also the sales person advises that dual core can help them 'upload' music and 'download' email faster (at the same time) - i thought this would be more based on how quick their internet connection was?

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:31 (nineteen years ago)

I hate that one for some fucking toothpaste or other? Or for dentures? Something to do with your teeth anyway? The one with the blonde woman? Who is supposed to be a company director or something? But, of course, she's an actress? And she talks like this? Where everything she says is a question? Even when it isn't? I think she's Irish? Or South African? Or something?

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:32 (nineteen years ago)

'downloading emails' lol

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:34 (nineteen years ago)

sorry i meant the other way around

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:42 (nineteen years ago)

but it doesn't make any difference

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:43 (nineteen years ago)

no i mean i think it is 'd/l emails' on the ad, and lol @ that.

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:47 (nineteen years ago)

I haven't seen any of these ads!

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:48 (nineteen years ago)

humax, all too humax.

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:50 (nineteen years ago)

That's probably it! I am draining the advertising revenue lifeblood of commercial television. Oh dear. I feel guilty now.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:52 (nineteen years ago)

Can't remember what it's for (anti-pong, possibly) but there's some businesswoman going about her day with SUPERHUMAN POWERS, such as making said product crash through walls, blowing up her treadmill by running too fast etc.

Bugs me most of all because they've popped in a shot of Canary Wharf outside her office window, but when she blows up the treadmill it clearly has a two-pin plug and the Underground train she crashes through the ground into looks more like the sort of thing you find in the States on or on the continent. Certainly not a Tube.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 09:17 (nineteen years ago)

The renaissance of Vauxhall's Zafira ad with the two "little old men" kids is starting to really hurt my brane. It's bad enough that it's on at all times of the day and night, but the follow-up where they're in the showroom and the shorter kids turns to his pal/brother and says "ahh, look at 'er eyes light up!" gives me the willies. Immensely irritating in itself but he then gives him a sideways glance that makes his pudgy face more terrifying than The Omen.

Konal OTM regarding Saunders too: "Get your own pop-ups!".

― Bill A (Bill A), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 10:32 (nineteen years ago)

i like that zafira ad!

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 11:59 (nineteen years ago)

That Saunders ad is one of the reasons I gave up watching television. The plotline on EastEnders where Dawn poses as Ian's wife is the other one.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:08 (nineteen years ago)

The one where the old man has his wife's tiny little false teeth in. Very disturbing.

― Bidfurd (Bidfurd), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:37 (nineteen years ago)

The new Gilette Fusion advert falls into the 'so outrageously bad it's pretty good, but cynically and knowingly so, so in fact it's just plain awful' category. OTT is all well and good, but something as flagrantly knowing as this has no place on our screens.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:42 (nineteen years ago)

The Tango one with people's heads cut out of paper and stuck onto smaller bodies and all wacky shit goes on. It freaks me out and doesn't make me want to drink Tango.

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Thursday, 24 August 2006 10:31 (nineteen years ago)

Lynx are up to their usual shenanigans.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 24 August 2006 10:33 (nineteen years ago)

not because it's that bad but because it's been going for years: the one with the garage rock s/t where the cars play hide-and-seek.
-- Bashment Jakes (miltonpinsk...) (webmail), Yesterday 9:17 AM. (later) (link)

"HEY HEY HEY HEY!!!! yeah, I know.. yeah, I know.. yeah, I know.. "

(ah)

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 24 August 2006 10:34 (nineteen years ago)

also the sales person advises that dual core can help them 'upload' music

what, and BREAK THE LAW?

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 24 August 2006 20:13 (nineteen years ago)

I can't hate the hide and seek cars cos it always warms my heart to see Mark E. making beer money.

― Pier Paolo Semolina (noodle vague), Thursday, 24 August 2006 21:59 (nineteen years ago)

the one where that bitch with the kid is having a slow day and she decides to buy a Hummer because it makes her feel tough, or at least that's what i get from it.

― gear (gear), Thursday, 24 August 2006 22:45 (nineteen years ago)

I can't hate the hide and seek cars cos it always warms my heart to see Mark E. making beer money.
-- Pier Paolo Semolina (noodle_vagu...), August 24th, 2006.

what the fuck?

that's the fall?

i assumed it was an 03-nu-garage band!

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Friday, 25 August 2006 07:37 (nineteen years ago)

Not strictly an advert, but MTV keep running a trail where they describe Kasabian as "legendary".

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:41 (nineteen years ago)

What about that one for a wart treatment (ha ha, a wart treatment, can you believe it?) called, and I may be wrong here but I'm sure this is correct, WARTNERS! The one where this drippy little twerp, who deserves to have his arse kicked every day of his life, is bemoaning the miserable life he had to lead before HIS MUM discovered this Wartners muck and applied it to liberally to his sorry ass (and other areas) - what 14 year old goes about beaming with joy about his mummy treating his friggin' warts?!??!

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:50 (nineteen years ago)

that's the fall?
i assumed it was an 03-nu-garage band!

-- Bashment Jakes (miltonpinsk...) (webmail), Today 8:37 AM. (later) (link)

Track is Touch Sensitive. The one about going behind a tree for a pee, etc.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:55 (nineteen years ago)

what channels do you watch!!!???

xpost

― animal bitrate (Enrique), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:55 (nineteen years ago)

... maybe it was only on during the school holidays, the warty kids being indoors when the normal kids were all outside playin' and shit

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:58 (nineteen years ago)

I remember during the Myra Hindley film, the adverts were very badly made as most high-profile companies knew better than to have their products endorsed during the most (supposedly) controversial film shown on TV.... there was one for "HISCOX INSURANCE" (hehe) which was basically a cue card reading "HISCOX INSURANCE" with a monotone voiceover..... truly, truly bizarre but muchly needed comic relief at the time!!!!

― JTS (JTS), Friday, 25 August 2006 21:10 (nineteen years ago)

"This is us, take away pizza and life on the go."

THEN WHY DO YOU NEED A FUCKING HUGE EXPENSIVE KITCHEN?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Saturday, 26 August 2006 00:00 (nineteen years ago)

I WANT "LEASE FOR NAUGHT" DEAD

― PappaWheelie, Olives, Red Wine, Coffee, Scotch, and Me (PappaWheelie 2), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 02:17 (nineteen years ago)

any advert that says "you do the... we'll do the...". also that stupid "Bigsmall, a new word used to describe something that is big but also small" I mean GNUH GNUGH NGUH! As if the Spafe ad wasn't atroicious, you cuntos have to come along and rip it off and make it EVEN MORE FEEBLE!!

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 09:50 (nineteen years ago)

Magazine advert with Jeffrey Archer in it. GET OFF MY TELLY!

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

"We work hard, so you don't have to"

"We work, so you have to pay us."

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

xxpost: OMG YES, DOG LATIN OTM, the Toyota Yaris advert is quite possibly the worst, most insulting, and most risible piece of CROLLOCKS (yeah, work that one out guys) I've ever seen. OMG I feel sick thinking about it now. ARGH!

― Obvious Ninja (Haberdager), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

'bigsmall' seconded. don't like clement freud anyway.

― a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (Enrique), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

also that Mr. Opportunity cartoon dude's "outtakes" is moranic

― PappaWheelie, Olives, Red Wine, Coffee, Scotch, and Me (PappaWheelie 2), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

worst moment in history of television adverts:

"I'm a mother...but is there anyone else out there who sometimes feels a little...overwhelmed?"

*half of stadium (which contains everyone in the WORLD, lol) stands up*

― Obvious Ninja (Haberdager), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 16:24 (nineteen years ago)

Mr. Oppurtunity is SOOO budget. Classic case of big ad firm letting some senior exec who hasn't done anything creative since the late 60s come up with the creative.

No, worst ads ever are the VW ads where people are just driving along and suddenly get in a car accident. That kind of shit would make a movie R rated.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 19:35 (nineteen years ago)

I hate it when Mr. Opportunity bangs on the glass of my television set. The fucking nerve he has to do that.

― mr. brojangles (sanskrit), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 20:04 (nineteen years ago)

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