The last time my mum saw me naked was when I was about aged 12/13.I had a problem with my foreskin, it wouldn't go back, and the doctor thought I might need circumcision.
But I exercised it like mad, and I used to go to my mum and present her with the latest results of my attemps to reveal my real penis to the world. Circumcision was avoided, cos she was impressed.
― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Wednesday, October 30, 2002 1:45 AM (12 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Is she hot?― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, October 30, 2002 1:45 AM (12 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Nah, she's a dog. But I was into anything back then.― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Wednesday, October 30, 2002 2:07 AM (12 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― j.enjoyhotdogs (wins), Sunday, 2 August 2015 01:41 (eight years ago) link
Haha what a clown.
― Eyeball Kicks, Sunday, 2 August 2015 14:52 (eight years ago) link
Just want to preserve this because it's gold:
In an argument about the tube strike yesterday, our catering manager told me that a strike couldn't happen in the catering industry because "it just wouldn't work. The company would still need to provide a service, you see, and if the staff aren't there it's very difficult for them to do that."― sktsh, Thursday, August 6, 2015 9:25 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― sktsh, Thursday, August 6, 2015 9:25 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― 9 days from now a.k.a next weekend. (dog latin), Friday, 7 August 2015 09:49 (eight years ago) link
/!\ ALERT /!\ gucci mane said ti's balls were brittle /!\ ALERT /!\
-- luriqua, Saturday, July 21, 2007 6:42 PM (1 year ago)
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 25 August 2015 19:40 (eight years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rfr9bhSmfXc
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 25 August 2015 19:41 (eight years ago) link
When I think of Hootie I think of Kevin Sutton(a kid who cried in class because his dad was going to be pissed that he only got a B+in Western History) in the back of a Black F-150 on a neighborhood street in Livonia Michigan in 1995 with a bunch of dorky people from school. They were blasting an album cut from Cracked on the car stereo. I remember looking at a blonde girl under the orange glare of a streetlight who I thought was pretty at the time, not beautiful, but pretty, and thinking to myself I didn't realize this girl was a dork. I don't know what I did before that moment, or afterwards, but the feeling of that particular moment is crystalized in my mind forever. Those kids in that truck in that weird little suburb were the perfect sociological representation on that album ever.
Kevin Sutton went to Michigan State after school. He probably has a slightly chunky wife and a decent home in the burbs somewhere, they probably planning to have their first child after his promotion next year. He turns 28 next June.
I am completely broke, I don't know how to make friends, and my only ambition is to learn more about western leftist terrorists on the late 60's early 70's (BaaderMeinhof. Weathermen, Red Army Faction...) and Viennese Actionism. I am reading Elementry Particles by Michel Houellebecq and it is rasing serious issues about my body iimage and my own sense of mortality. I often wonder why anyone bothers to live past 30.
Kevin Sutton totally won at life. From this, I draw the conclusion that Hoootie and the blowfish were a better band that Joy Division, who I considered vastly superior at the time. Inane consensus pop will always superior to weird marginal arty angst music. Throbbing Gristle is for fuckheads, I think the music of Hoobastank is far more profound and meaningful.
― Disco Nihilist (mjt), Thursday, October 21, 2004 11:18 PM (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Herbie Mann's Push Push Pops (Old Lunch), Thursday, 27 August 2015 13:30 (eight years ago) link
magnificent.
magnificent and correct.
― deejerk reactions (darraghmac), Thursday, 27 August 2015 13:34 (eight years ago) link
that is so good
― five six and (man alive), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:03 (eight years ago) link
Tuomas wrote this on thread crush archetypes on board I Love Everything on Sep 25, 2007"Thass a noice vageen!"
still the king
― tremendous crime wave and killing wave (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:05 (eight years ago) link
also belongs in striking imagery thread xp
― five six and (man alive), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:06 (eight years ago) link
not sure the divide of "successful people like shit music" is particularly accurate. "he totally won at life" isn't what i think when i see people i went to school with. plus you know it's all entirely disingenuous anyway.
― doing my Objectives, handling some intense stuff (LocalGarda), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:08 (eight years ago) link
"i'm so underground it ruined my life"
― doing my Objectives, handling some intense stuff (LocalGarda), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:09 (eight years ago) link
Its emotional honesty is evocative. Haven't we all been there at some point, really.
― Herbie Mann's Push Push Pops (Old Lunch), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:12 (eight years ago) link
yeah it's nicely written for sure.
― doing my Objectives, handling some intense stuff (LocalGarda), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:14 (eight years ago) link
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--klCbgXtu--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/hr9hwtlm0ee9ogho9rgk.jpg
― five six and (man alive), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:17 (eight years ago) link
that was the closest thing I could find to hootie and the bf giving the gas face, sorry
Lg otm, "from this, I draw the conclusion" lol no you fucking don't, that is not how logic or anything works
What a stupid conclusion to pretend to draw
Lots of people with or without chunky wives liked lots of different things at school, it's a large world, this means literally nothing, nothing at all, you'd think a disco nihilist would have gleaned this much
― Hi, my name's David and I quit (wins), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:23 (eight years ago) link
are you guys aspies?
― five six and (man alive), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:25 (eight years ago) link
Lol no I get that the thing here is supposed to be ether emotional recognition that haven't we all thought stupid thoughts like "why does it always rain on me, is it because I liked throbbing gristle when I was seventeen", mostly just pushing back against the idea that this is "correct" it obv isn't
― Hi, my name's David and I quit (wins), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:29 (eight years ago) link
just cos something makes you feel cool doesn't mean it's right
like smoking xpost
― doing my Objectives, handling some intense stuff (LocalGarda), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:29 (eight years ago) link
haunting post not backed up by the data, posters object
― five six and (man alive), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:31 (eight years ago) link
that vageen was average at best
― doing my Objectives, handling some intense stuff (LocalGarda), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:32 (eight years ago) link
tuomas eight years ahead on NOOICE tho'http://i.minus.com/ixCd9wDKPafka.gif
― Meta Forksclove-Liebeskind (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:37 (eight years ago) link
pushing back on the idea that my thinking the post was correct isnt correct is correct, its not
― deejerk reactions (darraghmac), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:38 (eight years ago) link
how far along have we gotten now?
― deejerk reactions (darraghmac), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:39 (eight years ago) link
the fact you think it's correct on this exact topic is a damning indictment
― doing my Objectives, handling some intense stuff (LocalGarda), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:40 (eight years ago) link
You shouldn't get into the arts bc you think it will make you happy. Idk why you should get into it but def not to be happy
― Treeship, Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:42 (eight years ago) link
the fact that you think my thinking its correct is a damning indictment is a mild indictment
how far along have we etc
― deejerk reactions (darraghmac), Thursday, 27 August 2015 15:44 (eight years ago) link
have you guys seen hootie lately? he looks way better than he did in the 90s. i bet he's vegan
― gr8080, Thursday, 27 August 2015 19:51 (eight years ago) link
dying
― I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Thursday, 27 August 2015 19:52 (eight years ago) link
A friend of mine slept with a woman who had extensive internal scarring (childbirth), apparently it was like sliding past fossilised worms. Not exactly "ribbed for his pleasure".― grym leighton (Crazyhorse), Saturday, June 19, 2004 8:14 AM (11 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― slam dunk, Thursday, 27 August 2015 20:13 (eight years ago) link
women are so gross right
― Yul Brynner playing table tennis with a deviled kidney (imago), Thursday, 27 August 2015 20:14 (eight years ago) link
Love doesn't always stay. Sometimes you get bored. Or realise you were high.― noodle vague (noodle vague), Monday, 14 February 2005 21:25 (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
why was first thread locked btw
― deejerk reactions (darraghmac), Monday, 31 August 2015 22:39 (eight years ago) link
a few weeks ago i saw a guy walking down cambridge heath road by himself. he had A Look that was arresting, it was like troo 70s, huge billowy flowing jeans with wide bellbottoms, a - yes - v-neck tee - and hair that looked like a bowl cut had been allowed to grow out for a couple of months. he was about 25 or so, just cutting through the world like a ship unmoored from time.
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, November 18, 2014 9:55 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
"just cutting through the world like a ship unmoored from time" goes through my head a lot
― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Friday, 4 September 2015 14:54 (eight years ago) link
I once sat in the next cubicle to Van Morrison as he grunted his way thru a really big shit - anyone whos insides smell that bad must be medically dead.
― Well it's a marvellous night ..............., Tuesday, 24 April 2001 00:00 (14 years ago)
― scarlett bohansson (unregistered), Saturday, 12 September 2015 04:00 (eight years ago) link
― doing my Objectives, handling some intense stuff (LocalGarda), Thursday, August 27, 2015 3:32 PM (2 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
holy shit
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 05:35 (eight years ago) link
ORNALDO BLOOMPS FOR PRESIDETN
― El Tomboto, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 05:41 (eight years ago) link
'no haters' in thread titles is like my friend who was fat in jr. high whose parents bought him a shirt that say "LEAVE ME ALONE" in big block letters on the front cuz he was having trouble w bullys -- we found a pic of it on his computer last yr & the clowning commenced
― LOOK WHAT I BRING TO THE TABLA (deej), Monday, February 2, 2009 6:22 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
(1) I think about the "LEAVE ME ALONE" shirt all the time as an example of how not to parent and(2) "& the clowning commenced"
― JWoww Gilberto (man alive), Tuesday, 17 May 2016 02:37 (eight years ago) link
some dude wrote this on thread least favorite thread titles on board All Noise Dude Summertime Fun Board and Pickle Bar on Feb 13, 2009
i like to take the pure essence of an album and use the resulting paste as a spread between two intact albums
― sarahell, Friday, 11 November 2016 21:00 (seven years ago) link
'grab them by the pussy'
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-recorded-having-extremely-lewd-conversation-about-women-in-2005/2016/10/07/3b9ce776-8cb4-11e6-bf8a-3d26847eeed4_story.html?postshare=2491475870527101&tid=ss_tw
That's it. He's done.
― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Friday, 7 October 2016 20:21 (one month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― quis gropes ipsos gropiuses? (ledge), Saturday, 12 November 2016 22:26 (seven years ago) link
actually the quote and link was in a mookieproof post but it's caek's that haunts.
― quis gropes ipsos gropiuses? (ledge), Saturday, 12 November 2016 22:50 (seven years ago) link
runny yolk needs to touch everything
― max, Wednesday, December 19, 2012 10:49 AM (three years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― ciderpress, Saturday, 12 November 2016 22:55 (seven years ago) link
― JWoww Gilberto (man alive), Monday, May 16, 2016 9:37 PM (one year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
haha ran into this post again and came here, but then realized I already posted it
― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Wednesday, 18 October 2017 20:50 (six years ago) link
took a dump in the shower once, smushed the turds down the drain with my toes - felt like i was stomping grapes
― Princess TamTam, Sunday, 12 December 2010 00:34 (4 years ago) Permalink
― nomar, Monday, July 6, 2015 6:17 PM (two years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― imago, Wednesday, 15 November 2017 16:33 (six years ago) link
and yes, a relevant ILTMI thread just got bumped reminding me...but this post pooped into my head a few days ago as well, so worth recording. The guy had a gift :/
― imago, Wednesday, 15 November 2017 16:34 (six years ago) link
all-time typo imo
― wow. that was truly the minecraft of sex. (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 15 November 2017 16:35 (six years ago) link
lol
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Wednesday, 15 November 2017 20:38 (six years ago) link
ahhahahaha
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 15 November 2017 20:43 (six years ago) link
It's kind of amazing how permanently-etched that post has become in my feces.
― Home of the Ill-Considered Gravy Spigot (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 15 November 2017 20:58 (six years ago) link
Argh, I mean 'mind', stupid autocoprophilia.
― Home of the Ill-Considered Gravy Spigot (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 15 November 2017 20:59 (six years ago) link
also why did you choose the phrase '30 packs'? i'm curious to what wheels turned when that 'fell out of your ass', also what wheels turned when you decided on the phrase 'falling out of your ass', also why you felt the need to deploy sexual imagery 3 times in your 'zinger' - "i need to know!" i'm also curious as to what drives you and morbius to continue posting here - i can't imagine it's 'i like the conversation' and god knows it's not 'i like the folx there and they like me' cuz i'd guess neither of you could find five threads either of you posted on more than four times that didn't eventually feature the majority of the posters on said thread calling you douchebags, i could be wrong i don't know. who do you like here? who likes you? name names - "i need to know!" i'm curious in what drives a man to post on a messageboard filled with people he doesn't like that like him even less. i don't think it's trolling but i can't figure out exactly what it is. not trying to 'zing' you here (i'd've accused you of shooting zesty ones out of your cock or buying 27 packs of stroh's or something - hit em up oops style), sincerely interested (perhaps, yes, if only to answer why do I continue posting here?). i'd ask others why they bother to engage morbius or oops but i've been there so i sorta understand the impulse.-- j blount (jamesbloun...) (webmail), November 12th, 2005 2:59 AM. (papa la bas) (link)
― ill fuckin put a paste on those (Neanderthal), Thursday, 6 February 2020 07:49 (four years ago) link
I regret the purchases that represented some other course my life didn't take. The 5-string bass guitar. The small PA and DJ lights. The ill fitting scuba gear. The coffee-table erotica. The roadside geology guides.
― Sanpaku, Tuesday, March 24, 2020 10:46 PM (twenty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
no. not old, just planning ahead
― Webcam Du Bois (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 03:18 (four years ago) link
"there goes max," they say, "the switzerland of blowjobs"
― max,Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:13 (thirteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink
― ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Wednesday, 15 April 2020 05:01 (four years ago) link
u old
― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 23 August 2007 23:59 (thirteen years ago) link
u wait
― Pleasant Plains, Friday, 24 August 2007 00:00 (thirteen years ago) link
― Joey Corona (Euler), Wednesday, 26 August 2020 16:47 (three years ago) link
*clock strikes midnight*
― agent brodie canks (wins), Wednesday, 26 August 2020 17:47 (three years ago) link
where is jon when we need him
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 26 August 2020 18:08 (three years ago) link
if spurs end up with
lloriswalker kaboul vert baedembele sandro paulinholamela soldado chadli
plus some cash for the stadium, they should put up a statue of levy and baldini
― mizzell, Thursday, 1 August 2013 15:34 (seven years ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Marry and Neghim (darraghmac), Thursday, 11 March 2021 23:54 (three years ago) link
Hmm
― Mark G, Sunday, 16 May 2021 16:25 (three years ago) link
I'm not sure if it was an ILX post or not, maybe I'm hallucinating it bc I can't find it, but I thought j0rdan had some thoughts on how he couldn't stand to see people's thumbs in photos where they were holding something for the camera, and every time I'm about to post a photo somewhere online in which I'm holding something and my thumb is visible I'm reminded of it and weirded out by my own thumb. So I inevitably post photos where I'm holding something and it looks like it's just sort of floating in the air because I make sure my hand cannot be seen. If I'm holding it at the back and only my arm is visible, I don't even show the arm, because I don't want it to look like the post on a yard sign.
― omar little, Friday, 16 June 2023 00:01 (eleven months ago) link
Tipsy Mothra's post immediately after the final episode of Mad Men where he figured out an ending that had been conceived four years earlier exactly.
― clemenza, Friday, 16 June 2023 00:37 (eleven months ago) link
do we have a crazy coworkers you were afraid would stab you then you found out their story and you pitied them but were just as sure they would eventually stab you thread― puppy bash (darraghmac),
― puppy bash (darraghmac),
― dow, Friday, 16 June 2023 04:01 (eleven months ago) link
not to harsh anyone's loogie but it's the impression that I get. Sorry, carry on.
― dow, Friday, 16 June 2023 04:04 (eleven months ago) link
life is like that mannnnnn
― Ár an broc a mhic (darraghmac), Friday, 16 June 2023 09:24 (eleven months ago) link
Have you ever been “stabbed”
― Grandall Flange (wins), Friday, 16 June 2023 09:36 (eleven months ago) link
I think "The Edge you're more beast than man!" was quite a bit funnier than the actual punchline.
― The Good Dr. Bill (Andrew Unterberger), Thursday, 30 September 2004 14:55 (nineteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink
― imago, Wednesday, 25 October 2023 08:59 (six months ago) link
can greenzo get real here for a second...trite, unoriginal, and too easy. Kind of like the religion it skewers. Chinese Democracy: sprawling, ambitious, and interesting in parts. Suffers from Axl's Id.
― Mr. Jay Batman, Sunday, June 12, 2011 11:06 PM bookmarkflaglink
― STUPID CRAP FACE (Neanderthal), Thursday, 7 December 2023 04:40 (five months ago) link
I'm not sure if it was an ILX post or not, maybe I'm hallucinating it bc I can't find it, but I thought j0rdan had some thoughts on how he couldn't stand to see people's thumbs in photos
Please Stop Showing Your Thumbs on Social Media
(which got referenced in this thread: hey gawker dudes. what the fuck is wrong with you?)
― visiting, Thursday, 7 December 2023 07:39 (five months ago) link
deadmaus's clit is MIDI?
― waddy watchel (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Saturday, December 20, 2014 9:03 AM bookmarkflaglink
― Formica Jordan (Neanderthal), Thursday, 14 December 2023 22:27 (five months ago) link
There should be one of these for posts of your own that haunt your thoughts because I have several of those.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Thursday, 14 December 2023 23:01 (five months ago) link
Maybe a "post here when you need to personally apologise for an old post" thread. I've got a few to post there
― H.P, Thursday, 14 December 2023 23:26 (five months ago) link
I have a few years worth
― Formica Jordan (Neanderthal), Thursday, 14 December 2023 23:31 (five months ago) link
this topic started before I was even born👍
― Biya Staunton, Wednesday, 23 March 2016 8:46 AM (seven years ago) bookmarkflaglink
― H.P, Friday, 15 December 2023 06:39 (five months ago) link
He had three other posts
Biya Staunton wrote this on thread discovering a JUG OF PEE in your new bedroom: C or D on board I Love Everything on 22/03/2016Is this website even used anymore?Biya Staunton wrote this on thread Jug Bands S/D on board I Love Music on 22/03/2016Any more information on jugs or jug bands?Anyone? please?Biya Staunton wrote this on thread The Band. on board I Love Music on 22/03/2016Does anyone have any information on jug(instrument) or jug bands? If you do, Then that's going to save me heaps
Is this website even used anymore?
Biya Staunton wrote this on thread Jug Bands S/D on board I Love Music on 22/03/2016
Any more information on jugs or jug bands?Anyone? please?
Biya Staunton wrote this on thread The Band. on board I Love Music on 22/03/2016
Does anyone have any information on jug(instrument) or jug bands? If you do, Then that's going to save me heaps
As all teenagers, seems Biya was drawn to the internet for information about Jugs
― H.P, Friday, 15 December 2023 06:42 (five months ago) link
Honestly captivated at this single posters quest for hidden jug knowledge
― H.P, Friday, 15 December 2023 06:43 (five months ago) link
― Princess TamTam, Sunday, 12 December 2010 00:34
^^^indelible post
― vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Friday, 15 December 2023 07:13 (five months ago) link
thanks a lot
― assert (matttkkkk), Friday, 15 December 2023 14:22 (five months ago) link
blame imago for re-posting on here 5 years ago, and then it haunting my thoughts ever since
― vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Friday, 15 December 2023 14:35 (five months ago) link
I quite often fetishise the idea of a culturally rich dotage, listehning to, watching, and reading all the albums, films, and books I've hoarded over my life, and then I remember this...
In recent years the collector had no interest in his collection. Ailing health, bereavement, and slowly declining hearing had sapped his once immense passion for music and left him with little but crosswords and memories of springer spaniels, tabby cats, and a wife who had all passed on. For a long time, he didn’t even have a record player on which to listen to his collection, and it had sat, unmovable and unplayable, in his living room like a giant hibernating creature gathering dust.
...and I don't want that.
― Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 30 January 2012 15:43 (eleven years ago) bookmark flag link
― Dr Drudge (Bob Six), Sunday, 21 January 2024 12:02 (four months ago) link
and if covid isolation didn't teach us all to that, hopefully decades early enough to do what we will with the info.....
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Sunday, 21 January 2024 12:06 (four months ago) link