Real England

tempted to start a Kim Kardashian style thread about minions because I don't understand what they are and they are everywhere

don't know where to put bakewell's peculiar council website
http://bakewelltowncouncil.gov.uk/33/pages/council-tax
http://bakewelltowncouncil.gov.uk/8/pages/working-in-bakewell

keep on laughing at the working in bakewell one. for a full ten minutes now on and off.

business networks amusing as well.

shot of the library pretty real

http://bakewelltowncouncil.gov.uk/images/headerImages/Library.jpg

Bakewell in Bloom set me off you gits

Living in Bakewell is Great!

Parking >>>

Love that Library pic - bet there are tons like it from council sites, could the nu-Oasis Primal Scream blah blah thread.

Living in Bakewell
Living in Bakewell is great!

The Council tax picture cracked me up along with ' Derbyshire Dales Dirtict Council etc etc..'

Living In Bakewell killed me. Also liked the Bus Pass section showing dozens of pensioners crowding the pavement while an out of service bus looms in the background.

oh god the bus pass photo...

"Maybe we should use a picture where the bus is in service?"
"Nah, we've only got the one set, just go with that"
"Look, I can photoshop a number onto that bus, take me about 5 minutes"
"WE'RE ON A DEADLINE SON"

omg the Bakewell Show starts tomorrow, i'm calling an emergency FAP

Pick me up a laptop from the large boy outside the pudding shop while you are there, pls.

http://www.bakewelltowncouncil.gov.uk/images/backgrounds/towncouncil.jpg

Girls' bike

tiny umbrella on a great long pole

i dunno it says "Wales" on his t-shirt

http://bakewelltowncouncil.gov.uk/images/backgrounds/visiting.jpg

Ladies WATCH YOUR BAGS!

http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/Horse-washed-Bude-Park-paddling-pool-Bransholme/story-27563900-detail/story.html

http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/images/localworld/ugc-images/276270/Article/images/27563900/10672336-large.jpg

if they'd've clicked on the second link in the 'related links' they'd've found:

http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/Oss-Wash-graffiti-new-Dead-Bod/story-27450074-detail/story.html

horses being washed in random locations/tethered at the roadside/running amok round an estate are reasonably common in Hull, which has a significant traveller community. we still get rag and bone men using horse-drawn carts. there was a pony i used to feed mints to regularly on my walk to work. also there's a section of west Hull called Gypsyville.

this is the OG 'oss wash

http://thehullplay.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Victoria-Pier-Horse-Wash.jpg

and this is more or less how it looks today

http://static.panoramio.com/photos/large/82447310.jpg

Selfishness of using kids paddling pool to wash horse very real, working horses however are not real. Bit suggestive of an organic connection to pre-colour tv era working class culture, the absence of which is a defining trait of Real England imo.

'pre-colour tv era working class culture' doing a lot of work in that sentence, hope the basic idea come across.

just bung a bit of chlorine in after the horse, scoop out anything it's left behind, job's a good'un.

i did a couple of stints as a paddling pool attendant many years ago.

Hull's enduring charm of course is our secession from realness

the water fountain on ealing common has the inscription: "This fountain and adjoining troughs were erected by local subscription in 1878 by the Metropolitan Drinking Fountain and Cattle Trough Association.". i can just see them driving cattle around the hanger lane gyratory system...

(the troughs are no longer there)

There's a cattle trough/drinking fountain still there in Muswell Hill, although the trough is now a flower bed.

I don't know if this applies

http://chris3.500px.com/home

quite enjoyed this http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20150723-why-britain-has-secret-ghost-trains

the station at the Cornish village I grew up in was apparently voted worst in the UK at some point in the 90s. don't remember myself or anyone I know ever using it

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/sep/08/woman-allegedly-tricked-friend-into-having-sex-pretending-to-be-man

holy shit! so many questions

it's the most ridiculous shit i've ever read. how did this even go to trial? like, she says it goes on for two years!

well i can see why it went to trial - i assume it fits the legal definition of serious sexual assault at the least, but the whole deception is just so bizarre. from the name 'kye fortune' onwards

yeah i guess i mean more like - it seems hard to believe that the person could have been fooled, if they were it's obviously quite serious - it just seems really weird you'd agree to have sex with a blindfolded stranger whose face you'd never seen - i mean apparently it sounds like she's never seen his face in person. unless they met at the hotel and she didn't recognise her friend due to her wearing a "wooly hat", as reported elsewhere.

it was the victim that was blindfolded i think. the perpetrator was just heavily bandaged

i can't remember if i've read about another case very similar to this one or if some of the deets made the rounds a couple of years back

sorry, of course. at what point tho? did she never see "his" face, like did they meet in the hotel room? cos that's pretty weird. did he have pics on the facebook profile etc?

the oddest bit is "it's not what you think"

xpost i had the exact same thought but a colleague linked to the other case, it was two teenagers or something, a different story.

the mysteries of the human heart

Giving evidence on Wednesday at Chester crown court, the complainant said: “Every time I met up with Kye Fortune, I either had the mask on already or he would wait outside the door and I would put it on. I was so desperate to be loved. It’s pathetic, so desperate for love, so desperate.”

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/sep/09/woman-allegedly-tricked-into-sex-with-friend-pretending-to-be-man-lesbian-court-told

it is either terribly sad and worrying that somebody would blindfold themselves and let whoever it was have sex with them, or just unbelievable.

the bit about getting engaged to someone you've never seen. the bit about watching films together still wearing a blindfold. the bit about sunbathing but the one who didn't have the scars having to swaddle up their head like a baby's arse. almost every detail is completely boggling, but the whole willing suspension of disbelief thing feels really tragic at the same time

it feels like one of those cases of someone caught up in the legal system who shouldn't be - i guess that's what i mean by wondering how it went to trial, like isn't this going to cause more damage for this person ultimately? i mean, i guess unless you believe she actually 100 per cent believed this kye fortune person was real - this seems impossible given the amount of time they spent together. feels like there are really severe mental problems here.

There was a case similar to this a few years back, I think?

Gemma Barker case

https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xlf1/v/t1.0-9/11988713_10100737392104347_3420243885931454995_n.jpg?oh=6ec66e1c191f44207b7ecdb0e47aea25&oe=56A32C37

Arse, forgot that was yesterday.

Probably belongs on the UK festivals thread, but the afterparty featured The Beat, 3 Daft Monkeys and Nizlopi. No idea who 3 Daft Monkeys are, but pretty sure they'd be surprised to be higher on the bill than someone who had a #1 chart single.

not if they've heard it

I almost turned up at a Friends Of Rectory Park meeting the other day but had too much realophobia or at least a strong social phobia preventing me. I have genuine grievances to air about squandered lottery funding but have a strong irrational (or maybe rational) feeling of not belonging at such meetings. When I play it in my mind it turns into a Mike Leigh caricatures telling me to leave type situation.

[multiple xps] Genesis P Orridge posted a link to a story about the Kye Fortune case on FB yesterday. there is something of the TG about the story now I think of it