You mean to tell me she didn't really hobknob with the Schmockefellers?!
― Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 9 June 2015 01:42 (nine years ago) link
irl lolz at blair schmaldorf
― like a giraffe of nah (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 9 June 2015 02:18 (nine years ago) link
on the verge of tears, actually
― got bent (mild cheezed off vibes) (s.clover), Tuesday, 9 June 2015 02:23 (nine years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/Wv98Hd2.jpg
― 龜, Saturday, 13 June 2015 20:13 (nine years ago) link
BOB WEIDNER likes to play a game when he goes to a high-end outlet store...
http://i60.tinypic.com/2m4ccia.jpg
― Nobody ever knows anything. (sleepingbag), Saturday, 13 June 2015 20:20 (nine years ago) link
How has this not been posted yethttp://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/06/14/fashion/a-curious-midlife-crisis-for-a-tech-entrepreneur.html
― Οὖτις, Saturday, 13 June 2015 22:37 (nine years ago) link
http://www.hiespielchen.de/dominion/jpg/a_schnorrer.jpg
― got bent (mild cheezed off vibes) (s.clover), Saturday, 13 June 2015 22:44 (nine years ago) link
omg that profile. there's a script treatment in there. the poor little rich man, trying so hard to be a real boy, pissing everybody off and eating all the lemons.
― Doctor Casino, Saturday, 13 June 2015 22:56 (nine years ago) link
that piece is really something
― transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 14 June 2015 00:49 (nine years ago) link
I actually thought that was a great piece, magnificently restrained
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 14 June 2015 02:40 (nine years ago) link
Just like Fabrice.
― from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Sunday, 14 June 2015 03:44 (nine years ago) link
haha so perfectly restrained. Throwing in the ridiculous dollar values of what his "downgraded" life experiment was costing him was a nice touch. Like, Oh whoops $400,000 vacay in the middle of nowhere for friends & fam, my bad! Holy shit.
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Sunday, 14 June 2015 12:19 (nine years ago) link
the disingenuously naive nytimes tone finds its ideal subject matter
― transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 14 June 2015 15:55 (nine years ago) link
^ha, yes. but this felt different than usual nytimes, reminded me a little of like old-fashioned new yorker "talk of the town"
― drash, Sunday, 14 June 2015 17:49 (nine years ago) link
His first stop was Miami. Mr. Grinda stayed with a childhood friend, Olivier Brion, at the home he shared with his wife, Hélène, and their toddler.Soon after his arrival, there were problems. For one, there was the matter of Mr. Grinda’s bearing. “He is very loud when he talks,” Mr. Brion said.Mr. Grinda also wanted to play tennis after his friend got home from work, which left Mr. Brion hobbling and sore from their furious two-hour matches.There was also an issue with Mr. Grinda’s suitcase wardrobe. “My wife was doing his laundry,” Mr. Brion said. She also took on the chore of making his bed in their small guest room.Not only that, she rearranged their toddler’s schedule so that they could dine late, in keeping with Mr. Grinda’s usual habits.Mr. Brion said his wife was patient with the houseguest. “She never asked, ‘When is Fabrice leaving?’ ” But, he added, “She said, ‘I won’t do this forever.’ ”
Soon after his arrival, there were problems. For one, there was the matter of Mr. Grinda’s bearing. “He is very loud when he talks,” Mr. Brion said.
Mr. Grinda also wanted to play tennis after his friend got home from work, which left Mr. Brion hobbling and sore from their furious two-hour matches.
There was also an issue with Mr. Grinda’s suitcase wardrobe. “My wife was doing his laundry,” Mr. Brion said. She also took on the chore of making his bed in their small guest room.
Not only that, she rearranged their toddler’s schedule so that they could dine late, in keeping with Mr. Grinda’s usual habits.
Mr. Brion said his wife was patient with the houseguest. “She never asked, ‘When is Fabrice leaving?’ ” But, he added, “She said, ‘I won’t do this forever.’ ”
After his fiasco with the Brion family, Mr. Grinda tried his luck in Paris, staying at the apartment of a cousin, Cyril Lejeune, who is a banker.Mr. Grinda spent afternoons in the living room, tapping away at his computer between business calls, and his suitcase wardrobe again proved a problem. “He would not have enough clothes, so he’d borrow mine,” Mr. Lejeune said.It was a three-day visit.After he was gone, Mr. Lejeune noticed that a few of his shirts were missing. “It doesn’t bother him at all,” Mr. Lejeune said, laughing. “But for me, for us, it was a problem.”
Mr. Grinda spent afternoons in the living room, tapping away at his computer between business calls, and his suitcase wardrobe again proved a problem. “He would not have enough clothes, so he’d borrow mine,” Mr. Lejeune said.
It was a three-day visit.
After he was gone, Mr. Lejeune noticed that a few of his shirts were missing. “It doesn’t bother him at all,” Mr. Lejeune said, laughing. “But for me, for us, it was a problem.”
Mr. Grinda has also crashed at the Miami vacation home of his mother, Sylviane Grinda. She said not much has changed since the days when she would visit him at Princeton and he would ask her to wash his underwear.
Hah he sounds like a toddler.
― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Sunday, 14 June 2015 18:43 (nine years ago) link
or just a dick
― like a giraffe of nah (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 14 June 2015 18:51 (nine years ago) link
The island’s remoteness, furthermore, meant some guests were forced to endure a tangle of flight connections, leaving some of them exhausted by the time they arrived.
― Hadrian VIII, Sunday, 14 June 2015 20:26 (nine years ago) link
Forced! Exhausted!
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/06/12/the-dowdy-patient/?_r=0
Years of psychotherapy training had given me no guidance in how to deal with the staunchly dowdy patient. Starting early in our training, we psychiatry residents spent innumerable hours addressing issues raised by inappropriately seductive patients. How best to deal with patients who flirt in session, who wear inappropriate attire, who ignore boundaries, who try, whether consciously or not, to lure you away from “therapeutic neutrality”? There were articles, books and lectures that helped us deal with a patient’s “erotic transference” and our own “countertransference reactions.”
But advice about the patient who refuses to be attractive? No.
Maybe a female or gay male therapist would have had an easier time addressing this topic with Greta. But for me, as a straight male working with a straight female patient, every option seemed blocked. Basically, no matter how I tried to put it, I would be saying, “I find you unappealing.”
― Immediate Follower (NA), Friday, 19 June 2015 16:24 (nine years ago) link
What the Christ, disbar this guy
― jennifer islam (silby), Friday, 19 June 2015 16:28 (nine years ago) link
jesus, what an asshole. shouldn't you lose your license for shit like that?
When I eventually tried again to discuss the issue of her appearance, things did indeed play out this way. Greta began to find me slightly creepy. Since previous therapists had never brought up this topic with her, she came to the conclusion that there must be something wrong with me for mentioning it.
uh, yes
― here i am in the land of large breakfasts (Doctor Casino), Friday, 19 June 2015 16:28 (nine years ago) link
ffs
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 19 June 2015 16:47 (nine years ago) link
i read that! just sounded like toughlove to me.
― the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Friday, 19 June 2015 16:56 (nine years ago) link
this basically was his IDing "so not gonna happen" as her Achilles
― the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Friday, 19 June 2015 16:57 (nine years ago) link
ummmmmm....... no.
i mean i guess i could imagine situations or circumstances where appearance would be on the table, for example if the patient had known issues or anxieties or feelings about her appearance. but basically this is just the male shrink sitting there, apparently tuning out while the person talks about her life and actual concerns -- even, in fact, while her life is improving massively in the areas she seems concerned about -- drumming his fingers and thinking to himself "yeah but DUHHH dress better you frump!" and then being so confident that this was appropriate that he brings it up to her, is surprised she doesn't buy it (but congratulates himself for that, cause clearly that means he's touching some important psychological nerve rather than just being an asshole). and then the stupid comparison to erotic transference and all that. it's not equivalent, it has nothing to do with that. and he tells the whole story to the world, apparently expecting a chorus of "am i right, fellas?"
fuck that! she didn't hire a makeover specialist or even a relationship coach. women are not put on the earth to dress the way their therapists, or anybody else, think is pretty. his answer to that is, "hey, that's the society we live in!" well guess what pal, that makes you part of the fucking problem. btw how does he expect her to react when she reads this in the nation's newspaper of record? wow, great breakthrough. real tough love there.
― here i am in the land of large breakfasts (Doctor Casino), Friday, 19 June 2015 17:08 (nine years ago) link
yeah it's like he's all yadda yadda anxiety etc but
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 19 June 2015 17:32 (nine years ago) link
casino otm
dr may just be writing this in a much more inappropriate voice than he would use in his sessions but unless she is specifically seeking feedback on that issue, step the fuck off...and even then, if she is asking for help on the dating front good lord there are better ways to address it as a *psychotherapist*
fuck that dr forever is how i feel with his garbagey frumpshaming opinion piece
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 19 June 2015 17:36 (nine years ago) link
Details have been altered to protect patient privacy.
Huh. What's the protocol on this sort of publication of patient information exactly? I'd have thought patient privacy involved more than anonymity. I hope he got consent to print this.
― jmm, Friday, 19 June 2015 17:39 (nine years ago) link
Now, he holds two parties — at Christmas and during the summer — in Cabarete, Dominican Republic, where he recently became a resident (it has a low tax rate). The cost: About $25,000 per party, he said. Last August he celebrated his 40th birthday there, surrounded by friends and family.
Mr. Grinda said he has learned a lot from his very big downgrade.
― marcos, Friday, 19 June 2015 17:39 (nine years ago) link
Which, at least to Greta, would have raised the reasonable question, Why on earth would she want me to find her appealing? The whole thing reeked of grossness. Like it or not, in raising the issue, I could be viewed as endorsing regressive cultural norms, implicitly justifying or defending the regrettable behavior of my gender.
yes i agree it does reek of grossness, you are very perceptive dr. hellerstein
― marcos, Friday, 19 June 2015 17:45 (nine years ago) link
^^^ transference
― difficult listening hour, Friday, 19 June 2015 17:48 (nine years ago) link
but this felt different than usual nytimes, reminded me a little of like old-fashioned new yorker "talk of the town"
yeah, it's got the arch understatement of old ToTTs down cold
― transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand), Friday, 19 June 2015 19:20 (nine years ago) link
i am basically a gay male frump and fully acknowlege it's why i've never had a serious bf.
― the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Friday, 19 June 2015 19:22 (nine years ago) link
Are you sure
― Immediate Follower (NA), Friday, 19 June 2015 19:33 (nine years ago) link
no
sometimes i just blame it on the boogie
― the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Friday, 19 June 2015 19:33 (nine years ago) link
or that gay men have the worst fucking taste on the planet
― the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Friday, 19 June 2015 19:34 (nine years ago) link
I like how he takes pains to put the word "dowdy" in someone else's mouth at the beginning of the piece. Nice self-exoneration there.
Also, I wonder what world that guy lives in where "unfashionable hairstyles" are a primary barrier to relationship formation.
― intheblanks, Friday, 19 June 2015 21:08 (nine years ago) link
Every therapist at some point discovers his limitations, be it a type of person he can’t help or an issue he is unable to successfully address. For whatever reason — a poor match of patient and doctor? my own deficiencies as a therapist? the complexities of our society’s gender relations? — the dowdy patient was mine.
Maybe this whole piece is his way of saying "Sexy Patients Only, Please"
― intheblanks, Friday, 19 June 2015 21:12 (nine years ago) link
Psychiatric Help 5¢The Doctor Is InNo Fat Chicks
― here i am in the land of large breakfasts (Doctor Casino), Friday, 19 June 2015 21:32 (nine years ago) link
I looked at dude's background and not sure how he can claim "years of psychotherapy training." Dude went to med school, then did psych residency. None of that involves training or practice in actual psychotherapy. His deficiencies in psychotherapy training are painfully obvious. Dude should stick to meeting with patients for 10 minutes every 3 months to write scripts.
I can and will totally nail this guy in the balls should I ever run into him.
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Friday, 19 June 2015 23:24 (nine years ago) link
i'm generally inclined to shrug and say 'ugh, lame' but then there's the fact that he thought writing this in the new york times was a good idea
― mookieproof, Friday, 19 June 2015 23:31 (nine years ago) link
yeah, absolutely. But I am also shocked at this psychiatrist's comically shallow view of human psychology! "If you'd just do something about those shoes, then you'd land a man!" This is sub-Cosmo idiocy.
― intheblanks, Friday, 19 June 2015 23:42 (nine years ago) link
Like how many people do you know who don't have conventionally "good" fashion sense, and have been able to enter and maintain relationships that fulfill their needs?
― intheblanks, Friday, 19 June 2015 23:43 (nine years ago) link
Just to be clear, I know like a million people who fit that description. Re-reading my question, I worry that I'm stating the opposite!
― intheblanks, Friday, 19 June 2015 23:44 (nine years ago) link
apparently this guy teaches at columbia. wow. i'd hope to see some blowback on campus, but it's summer and things are pretty quiet.
― here i am in the land of large breakfasts (Doctor Casino), Friday, 19 June 2015 23:58 (nine years ago) link
really the achilles heel of campus activism, do whatever the crap you want on summer break (results may vary at Dartmouth)
― jennifer islam (silby), Saturday, 20 June 2015 01:51 (nine years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CIX9lRKUkAAyUcj.jpg
― mookieproof, Thursday, 25 June 2015 21:06 (nine years ago) link
smdh
literally smdh
― from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 25 June 2015 21:12 (nine years ago) link
her uterus literally aches
― mookieproof, Thursday, 25 June 2015 21:16 (nine years ago) link
Key theme of that article is that they're better than everyone, and that is what truly makes it unfair that they have to make basic human choices about finances.
― intheblanks, Thursday, 25 June 2015 21:44 (nine years ago) link