Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

going back to the original question: no. and given my cynicism, that surprises me. but ... no, really, i rather like them. as TNG points out: they did the whole twee "i'm a packet of overpriced juice!" thing first, and still do it better than everyone else.

also: from a customer PoV, they're pretty decent. i took them up on their "talk to us! we like it!" schtick, and wrote them a polite but angry e-mail about a year ago pointing out how it was fucking impossible to break the seal on their litre cartons without getting a spurt of smoothie flying all over your wall/suit/face; they made all the right genuine concerned noises, admitted there was a design flaw and sent me a shitload of vouchers for money off smoothies. given that we get through a litre a week (tip: don't buy the wee ones; just fill up a similar-sized wee bottle with smoothie from a litre pack before you go to work), that was good enough for me.

ned T is right: there are an awful lot of things to get more worked up about than a reasonably decent company making quality drinks.

I'm tapping my fingers very loudly on the tabletop, whispering "shit, shit, shit, shit" to myself. Courtney's eyes are half closed and she's breathing deeply.
"Listen. I'll be daring," Anne says finally. "I'll have a Diet Coke with rum."
Scott sighs, then smiles, beaming really. "Good."
"That's a caffeine fine Diet Coke, right?" Anne asks the waiter.
"You know," I interrupt, "you should have it with Diet Pepsi. It's much better."
"Really?" Anne asks. "What do you mean?"
"You should have the Diet Pepsi instead of the Diet Coke," I say. "It's much better. It's fizzier. It has a cleaner taste. It mixes better with rum and has a lower sodium content."

re the overpriced thing, are they technically overpriced? how much should organic juice cost?

NG otm, sick of fucking chummy twee marketing speak

It's spread to the Internet Provider game:

Slight problem.

We've just tried to collect the amount due to us, but the transaction couldn't be completed. The amount due to us is £14.00 incl. VAT.

We'll have another go at collecting the money in 3 days time. Please could you ensure that there is no problem with your account, and that there will be sufficient funds available.

blah blah blah

If you are already enjoying Be's ludicrously fast broadband, please ensure prompt payment as we really don't want to disconnect you. We know how much you'll miss your broadband.

Fingers crossed for next time.

The next one mentioning a debt collection agency was actually kind of a relief

Lush are a bit fucking creepy as well, the shower gel I got for my birthday was making promises to hold me in its big strong arms and tell me everything was OK and shit

My beef is only really with This Water, tbh. Innocent smoothies are very nice (if no PJ's). The marketing is vile but what can you do. LOL @ f3rg's last sentence

Also when you walk past Lush the fucking honk of the place disorients you like some Dungeons and Dragons spell for a good 5 minutes.

I know somebody who wrote a paper about Innocent's design aesthetic.

Lush is the place that sells the giant multicoloured blocks of wax, isn't it?

I dunno, the saccharine smell makes me light headed enough to find the overly helpful gay hippie sales staff agreeable

When Lush was new on the high street it pissed me off cos I thought it was a cheese shop every time I walked past until I looked properly

The worst for chumminess is the 'VAT Nightmare' notices in branches of Pret.

"Hi, we are legally required to add on VAT when you eat in. Nightmare."

FUCK OFF.

I can't say I've ever given it that much thought (orig thread qn that is) I bought one once from the college canteen but it was nowt special and cost too much for such a tiny bottle. I noticed that there seemed to be some kind of wanky blether on the side of the bottle about how aweosme it all was but it was tl;dr so I hoyed it in the bin. Life's too short.

xxpost

lol I still make the cheese shop error on occasion.

I do think Passant1no needs to alternate threads methodically attacking every single facet of modern life with enthusiastic pro-something material, in order to show willingness to build bridges with non-zingers and Keep It Positive

Tomorrow: YAYYYY! THE FIRST TWO HOURS OF WCW NITRO FROM 1996-1998! YAYYYY!

He did the kebab van thread last week.

Kebabs and La Parka are the only two joys in my life, tbh

"Lush" the soap shop (as opposed to Miki and Emma) you could not walk past as they would pump out horrible soap fumes to 'entice' you in.

I think they've stopped doing that.

Still, never been in.

northampton town FM champions league success xpost

you could edit a new team into FM consisting entirely of near-crippled 97-vintage Luchadors, all chewing on a kebab while Blitzkrieg racks up the assists and Ciclope's disciplinary record becomes a cause for concern

(xxpost) The one near me still smells like Willy Wonka's bathroom, although it does cover up the smell of desperation from the salesmen in the mobile phone shop next door.

(CUSTOS TRIBUTE MONTH!)

you could edit a new team into FM consisting entirely of near-crippled 97-vintage Luchadors, all chewing on a kebab while Blitzkrieg racks up the assists and Ciclope's disciplinary record becomes a cause for concern

^^^ Believe this is next season's Luton squad.

your favourite jokes about wwe

Villano IV Flattered By Canaries Interest

Luchadors <<< mis-read this as Labradors...

What's Chris Benoit's favourite Junior "Gong" Marley song?
The one where he says "murder" a lot (Chris Benoit strangled before his wife and son to death before hanging himself)!

Jake Roberts: No no, you don't understand! Crack Smoke Into The Police Officer's Face is the name of my dog!

Big thing of Tesco frozen "summer fruits" + juice + yogurt + banana = what, a fiver? If going by Innocent's pitifully small portion size, the above ingredients will make about a dozen smoothies, all of which taste better and are fresh. Look, I just out-smugged Innocent.

yeah but Tesco are the real enemy (lol 1up)

AND I WAS DOING SO WELL

What if I lug home my frozen "summer fruits" in a 50p Tesco reusable grocery bag? That saves the lives of several African children each time, IIRC.

Q. WHY WAS CHRIS BENOIT ANGRY AT THE GUARDIAN'S ACCUSATION THAT TESCO ENGAGES IN TAX-DODGING?
A. BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT SHOWING ENOUGH RESPECT FOR (THE) BUSINESS!

What's Chris Benoit's least favourite Elton John song?
Daniel (he killed his son Daniel before hanging himself)!

xxxxxxxxxxp
Lush was like this years ago though when it was Cosmetics To Go. Back then it really was a refreshing change.

http://a261.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/00594/06/20/594990260_l.jpg

philipplahmforum.jpg is a better and more widely-applicable jpg meme than your crummy attempt mr acrobat

xpost

Those guys have never seen the inside of a Lush store.

Again, instead of buying Lush products you can just blend seaweed, olive oil and lye in a rectilinear mold, give it two weeks to "set" and bob's your uncle.

It's not the same if you don't buy it off a floppy fringed pierced guy called Jason for 28.95

they have guys working in there?

(xxpost)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f6/Fight_Club_bar_of_soap.jpg

Jason work in Boots. Hugo and Louis work in Lush. xxpost

anyone who catches me working in lush has the right to drown me in shower-gel

"he died of natural ingredients"

LOL

oh oh oh I can make a crap joek here!
Q: Did you hear about the robbers who held up a branch of Lush?
A: They made a clean getaway...

Today I went free to a big charity cricket function, ended up captaining the Popbitch XI, won us a game, and drank about 7 smoothies.

I have been on some sort of completely ridiculous sugar-rush ever since.

But there is more. Vitamin Water from Glaceau (owned by Coca-Cola) is a new product aimed at being our fucking mate. It puts Innocent to SHAME in terms of bloodcurdling label blurb. I collected the labels of all five different flavours, and if you're lucky, when I wake up I'll reprint them here.

They are, without exception, criminal.

http://www.glaceau.com/

Fucking destroy

OMG IN THE TOP CORNER ON THE SITE THERE IS AN ACUTE ACCENT ON THE E OF GLACEAU

THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A MICROSECOND

THEN READ ALL THE BLURBS ON THE SIDE OF THEIR VITAMINWATER BOTTLES

THEN SCREAM A LONG LONG SCREAM

I THINK IF YOU ARE SO EASILY REDUCED TO SCREAMING

THEN YOU AREN'T GOING TO LAST VERY LONG BACK IN LEWISHAM

SERIOUSLY CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN YOU PASS A NEWSAGENT

FUCK'S SAKE