rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

this wouldn't mean more praying, would it

WTF people eat breakfast til 4PM here all the time and I have never heard "breakfastarian" before. Jesus.

Nobody had heard of that phrase until the marketing department of the IHOP released it into the world this week.

I'm at IHOP right now. I'm going to declare myself as a breakfastarian and see what happens. Maybe I'll get free pancakes.

Ooo maybe they'll give me a job in marketing.

ffs

http://41.media.tumblr.com/0bcf835e9846e59229fb0529715efc52/tumblr_no958fUARL1uvvcf8o1_250.jpg

This is the second time I've been in this IHOP and they've played a TERRIBLE Beatles megamix where all the songs are slowed down just enough to make me think I'm having a mild stroke. They used to just play local R&B/pop radio, which was 10000000x better, but this seems to be some kind of oldies satellite radio. Probably part of the terrible breakfastarian marketing push. I feel sorry for the young people who work here.

Breakfast Aryan

breakfast aaron

http://media.giphy.com/media/13duXCtewq1cpG/giphy.gif

i don't know, are we still talking about this

http://i.imgur.com/6RTxzwt.jpg

i feel like we kinda subvocally agreed it's a bad idea to allow the idea headspace in case it metastasizes

Wouldnt Breakstafarian make more sense argh my brain hurts now.

or even Breakfast-afarian
yo though, it's creepy to see that Hamburglar glove show up on random McD's commercials now

hamburglar just gives me mad craigslist vibes now #nohomo

His glove does what now?

Keeps his hands from smelling like McDonald's all day and reminding him of the terrible mistake he made in stealing one of their grey-meat burgers slathered in corn syrup ketchup and rehydrated onion bits leftover from World War 2.

http://www.grubstreet.com/2015/05/the-story-of-the-hamburger.html

Shallal, convinced that fast food in general was in eclipse and being overtaken by restaurants like Shake Shack, spoke in the visionary tones of someone present at the birth of a utopia. When I asked how his app makes money, he smiled beatifically. “It doesn’t make money,” he said. “It’s for the people. This is our contribution to the burger world.”

FOR THE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!

Btw that new STUFT NACHO from Taco Bell is some really simple, tasty, deadly stuff.

aka TBD tasty but deadly

staind nacho

gotta be trapt nacho

seriously though it is tops on my recent list of garbage that I put into my body

http://www.foodrepublic.com/2015/06/02/eating-my-way-through-weird-hard-rock-cafe-world-b

monterey jack cheese, the most scottish of all the cheeses

shouldve saved it for the australian burger, obv

http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/37100000/Monterey-Jack-chip-n-dale-rescue-rangers-37108933-300-259.jpg

“It's a big sandwich, bro,” the manager adds.

President Camacho approves.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjSJj_Pdjys

http://www.businessinsider.com/pizza-hut-box-turns-into-movie-projector-for-your-smartphone-2015-6

the food laboratory team must be shaking their fists in deep frustration. their R&D budgets slashed, the funds transferred to the box people, and all for a blurry, muffled projection of low-res video. maybe now headquarters will finally listen.

do mainstream pizza chains even still offer anchovies? i dunno anyone who orders anchovies.

Pizza Hut still so far behind in the game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gW2D_Votd2Y

When I worked at Dominos (like 20 years ago now) the hatred for anchovies was strong enough that there was a standard topping code of EBA for "everything but anchovies".

But someone would order them like once a month, so there was always one can of anchovies in the walk-in and it was big production of getting grossed out when we had to open it to top a pizza and the drivers would fight over who had to deliver those pizzas cause they made your car stink more than usual and people who ordered anchovies were inherently weirdos who were not to be trusted.

well now i feel bad fer the little guys

wow, i had no idea.

.. types forks, eating his third anchovy slice of the day

they're delicious don't judge me

forsksclovechovies

IGNORE THAT TYPO
IGNORE IT

forksclovetochovieupizza

http://thumbnails.hulu.com/14/229/64706_512x288_generated__UyJgtu2qukWcCTJOCT2gUQ.jpg

(I like em, personally)

they are very salty and so cool with me. this also led me to read about the history of the Caesar salad on wikipedia.

The original Caesar salad recipe (unlike his brother Alex's Aviator's salad) did not contain pieces of anchovy; the slight anchovy flavor comes from the Worcestershire sauce. Cardini was opposed to using anchovies in his salad.

Cardini otm

I'll come around eventually, I just had a sardine that I thought was something else years ago and the surprise flavor explosion bruised my explorative tendencies

too salty

i have honestly never had 'CHOVIEZ on a pizza but i do like em. fish on pizza seems barbaric and potentially not kosher.

nah it's kosher, fish is parve

in my current (French) town there are only two main pizza options: cheese or anchovies (without cheese). you can get other stuff on yr pie but that's mainly for tourists. so I've come to love the briny fish on a tomato sauced slice

https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3916/14846246950_179bf1dc1a.jpg

The best pizza topping set: anchovies, pepperoni, capers, and garlic, whole black olives optional. A friend of mine used to call this the "misanthrope special".

intermediate-level umami